Western Culture and Teamwork

[RRR]

A thought I had inspired by a dream this morning. Very rough. Hope you'll enjoy and contribute.

Top-down structures.
Family, School, Work, Church, Organized Sports.


I remember the summer as a child. The neighborhood kids finally had a chance to work as a team, we went on adventures, we had fun, we worked on each others growth. What happened, however, was teamwork was avoided through organized sport. It took away time from the real team at home. I didn't play with my real friends, I was driven miles away to play with people I did not know and this pull of new relationships, new teamwork, does not help and is not practical in a child's life. I had no way of working with these kids outside of that environment. The teamwork was shoddy, communication became robotic, the "Coach" was a top down manager. Same with school. I wasn't in classes with my teammates. I was with kids shipped in fro m miles away. Kids I couldn't go hang out with outside of school. It was a waste of time and the teams were generally arbitrarily forged. Recess had teams..but classwork was usual individual. And when teamwork was made it was generally chosen by teachers. Forming your own group would lead to dissident groups refusing to do the project or doing a very poor job. Teachers disbanded the groups of dissidents, they were slaves powerless to fight back against the system. It was a top-down structure, destroyer of team work.

Church and the Family. The church is a top-down structure that sells children imaginary friends, fear, guilt, and shame. Then it sells excommunication from the tribe as punishment for questioning its judgment. It destroys teams, promotes holier than thou. My church was full of people I did not know well. My friends went to different churches. It seemed as if it was purely a family affair, all individual families indoctrinating their children. I was forced to go as a child, I would generally pretend to be asleep until my parents forcibly awakened me, I was promised donuts if I made it through church. Fatten up the nonbeliever.

My family was not a good team. We had no other adults besides my mom and dad in our house, occasionally a grandmother when the two went on vacation or when both were working. We had a baby sitter when we were out of daycare. We had of course the adult structures of school and organized sport. My parents and my town were not teams. they were a group of individuals, at best a group of families.

What is my point? I am a 22 year old male human. By any logical pre-western standards I should have been part of a tribe and been forging teamwork with a small group of humans all this time. Our ability as a group would be immense.

However as I see it humans no longer have their own teams...especially once they have children.
They are sold top-down structures as teams.
They have virtually no power within their own teams.


The family - In western culture I feel it is all too common for families to be a top-down structure. Whether it is Single parent dominant or dual parent dominant, children are born into a situation where they are not teammates. They are lower-level. Their opinions do not matter. They have no power, influence, or real importance.

Government - At best you can work as a mayor, city council, PTA. etc.
-Government is a top-down violent structure by nature.

Work- Most jobs I know of are top-down structures. Owners/CEOs/Managers make the decisions. Lower level workers have no real influence. Their best bet is to join a union, which usually becomes so massive the individual has no real influence, Unions become top-down structures.

Suburbs - My experience with suburbs was a collection of individual families, who didn't really talk to eachother, most didn't know eachother, all taking care of their individual families. Some are subservient to ridiculous laws about lawnmaintainence, boat ownership, color of house etc.

The individual is sold false teams.
-Governments (Patriotism & Nationalism)
-Religion
-Family
-Economic structures
-Social classes
-Material teams
-Entertainment teams: Favorite bands, tv, movies, sports teams (Idols)

[timothydrake]

I know exactly what you are talking about my friend.

So here's a song I'd like to share. A wise man sung this song and it holds a place in my heart.

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

"Imagine" by John Lennon

[funchy]

Originally Posted by RRR

The family - In western culture I feel it is all too common for families to be a top-down structure. Whether it is Single parent dominant or dual parent dominant, children are born into a situation where they are not teammates. They are lower-level. Their opinions do not matter. They have no power, influence, or real importance.

If anything American kids have too much importance and power. Their needs are all met, no matter what. Every year they get new clothes, even if mom and dad wear the same things from 10 yrs ago. If the family is struggling or dad loses his job, American kids are not put into the workforce. They can break all society's rules and be a general PITA in public, but it's ok because they're kids. They almost never face jailtime, no matter how bad they are, but see what happens if you as an adult try to swipe a bunch of CDs. Some parents idolize them. Some live vicariously through them. Some are put up on little pedestals and can do no wrong.

I knew a pre-teen girl who used to call 9-1-1 on her parents during temper tantrums. While waiting for the police to come, she'd smack herself in the face and arms as hard as possible. Cops would arrive and she'd force tears and point out how "mommy hit me". But american culture never doubts kids because kids can do no wrong. They have ALL the power and we have to trust they don't misuse it.

Besides look at their life.... I'd happily trade working all day, stress, and responsibility for someone to cook my meals, bring me whatever I need, and patiently tolerate me when I shrieked and threw things at my caregiver.

government - At best you can work as a mayor, city council, PTA. etc. -Government is a top-down violent structure by nature.

Depends how you look at it. Many layers of government are made up of teams : committees, town council, Congress.

It sounds like you've not worked on many teams. I have. It's not the fair, fulfilling, meaningful, productive utopia it might seem.

I encourage you to serve on the Board of Directors for a community organization or non-profit. Everyone is equal to you on a Board. To each one of them, the all want what's best for the team. Trouble is nobody can agree what "what's best" really is. So without any one single leader, it can end up being months of deadlock. (I know because I'm on the BoD of a charity myself)

Leadership is like a lead sled-dog pulling his pack across the finish line. Teamwork can be like tying cats together by their tails and hoping they all go the same direction.

Human being are individuals first, others/groups second. That's just the way we're built.

[ns123]

RRR,

I don't agree with what you said at all, though there is some truth in it, I don't find it resonates with my own experience.

As for team sports, I am sorry that you experienced it that way. I definitely see children working in teams all around me, organizing their play, forming "teams" but not playing organized sports. I have also seen children in organized sports that play as a team, with a coach who is both gentle, encouraging, and dedicated. These children also socialize with the members of their organized sport (soccer) by going to school together, being in boy scouts together, being in day camp together, etc. Maybe what your parents did for you was not the right fit for your personality. I don't think that means that there are no teams.

As for church and your neighborhood I also do not find this to be true in my own personal experience. I believe that you feel as connected to other as much a you choose to commit to doing so. I lived on my street for 7 years before I connected with my neighbors - and that only happened because I finally chose to make an effort to.

I also don't agree with you in government and the work place. Managers - really good ones - value the opinion and input of the people "in the trenches" and often times rely on their perspective to make decisions. The ultimate decision is on the manager, but a great manager is an includer who makes his people feel like they matter. That's how you retain good people.

I am sorry you feel disconnected as if you don't belong to a team - or never experienced seeing people working together in the true sense of connectedness. My own direct experience is much different.

The quality of our experience with others all lie within ourselves, and our own choice and commitment to making it happen. People will feel connected to you if you commit to connecting with others. People will feel like they want to be included on your team to work with you, to include your feelings and opinions, if you also work to create what you are seeking for other people too.

I hope that helps. I'm not saying what you are saying is wrong. What I'm saying that it is possible to have a more positive and inspiring experience in life if you so choose to - and commit to making it happen.

[RRR]

In my experience kids treat their parents like crap because their parents treat them like crap. Children don't respect their parents because their parents don't respect them. Everything is a learned behavior.

Tieing the 911 story into childhood behavior is very interesting. I doubt the child does that for kicks, there is likely a reason the child feels a need to throw a massive tantrum and get their parents in trouble. If the child and parents had a wonderful close relationship that was mutually rewarding I can't see that happening. Maybe its because the parents are trying to force the child to do something without the child's consent. Maybe the child wants attention.

Its nonsense to believe children have too much power. Time out? Try pulling that on an adult. Bed times? Try pulling that on an adult. Little kids have their lives micromanaged by adults ALL the time. Individuality, preference, and opinion hold very little sway. By the time a child hits puberty the outright aggression does change...mainly because the kid is large enough to fight back physically if necessary...

Now I'm not saying adults have a lot of power. In terms of power most adults are slaves. Slaves to imaginary concepts and institutions.

Imagine as an Adult you are told by the where to go, what to do, and who you must do it with. That is childhood from ages 6-18 from 7 am - 3pm. (Plus homework) You have to go because if you don't your parents will be arrested or you will be arrested. Its absurdly violent and coercive, not to mention a horrible waste of time.

My point with neighborhoods and organized sports for children was the segregation of established neighborhood/friendship teams. I'm not advocating neighborhood friendships as an extreme ideal...but for a child who can't really get around in a car you have limited options. If you spent time with the same group of friends as a child instead of being split up to work on other teams (Sports, School, Church), your group would become much more cohesive. If you had the freetime as a child to work with your group on a meaningful project (Setting up a website..whatever.) Even a group of 8 year olds could generate a significant amount of fun/wealth/income/experiences.

Essentially:

Tribe > Nuclear Family

[Inthon]

Reject false beliefs and connect with those who you choose to connect with.

Let no one stop you.