How do I have good conversation with coworkers?

[zt1]

I've been working at a new job for almost a couple months now. I'm ok at socializing with some people but have trouble opening up and having a good flow with others who have a lot of different opinions on how things are then I do.
There will just be awkward silence and a jagged conversational flow. I've isolated myself in life for awhile and am going through an addiction recovery so I know my social skills lack.
I'm not sure how to be open and have a good conversation with people who just complain and always see the negative side of things. I don't dare make myself vulnerable to them but the tension from socially withdrawing kills me as well.
Any advice?

And I know I can talk about non personal stuff and common interests but we really don't have too much in common and I don't want to share what I'm doing in my personal life with them but I want to be honest.

[AGBourne]

Sounds like it's your inner issues and not so much as them.

Start by listenining first. Become really interested in someone else and to get someone else to open up you are going to have to open up yourself.

"I don't dare make myself vulnerable to them " -- I don't get this. There is some issues you need to resolve within yourself.

[SimonaRich]

When you seek for other's approval that's what happens. You should only care about yourself and how you feel. Be happy and do what makes you positive no matter what other's opinions are.

When you are happy with yourself you raise your vibration and you become like a magnet to likeminded people. Others see you as this amazing person who is always in a good mood, and you become the one that is constantly surrounded by friends.

[Ontowhere]

Listen and observe.

[zt1]

I agree with listening to them and being positive no matter their opinions. I try to maintain my vibration the best I can. There is just this wall of negativity around the main guy I work with. I usually have to ask him what to do during the day since I'm new and he sort of oversees me. Later on during the day his son comes in and he is just as negative as he is and it's then us three.
I really have no interest at all really to be around them or listen to anything they say... but I'm stuck with them.
There's definately a power, ego trip thing they got going on. At least that's how it feels to me. So what, do I be positive like I usually am and they say very little because for them to connect like that would mean they appear weak( because smiling and being nice implies weakness to them) or do I drop down to their level and criticize everything just so we can connect?

[roxyruby]

Just be yourself. Don't worry about what others think. Realize you're human and it's ok to make mistakes and not be perfect, remember the co-workers may also have things to be embarassed about some times.

Silences are ok! Think positive and never be hard on yourself. Think about what you and the co-workers have in common, no matter how small. It makes you feel closer as well as giving something to talk about you may both enjoy.

No matter how awkward conversation is at first, that will pass. It is very common for conversations to start awkwardly and there is nothing wrong with it, you might actually say it's normal.

See the humour in the situations! There is always something to laugh about if you allow the humorous side of things to show itself!

[Ralph]

What would you have to believe about your coworkers to really want to strike up the conversation with them? Would you have to believe that they're nice people? Or maybe you'd have to believe that the differences in opinion gives you another perspective, and therefore expands your horizons? What if you believed that the jagged conversations are a challenge for your social skills that would be fun to overcome?

Change your beliefs. All the relationships are inside of you, so make the change inside.


And if you have reeeaally strong compatibility issues with them, perhaps it's not a right kind of job for you? Perhaps you sell your time to the wrong guys?