Is everything you've ever been taught about relationships a lie?

[yossarian]

This guy seems to think so.

savethemales.ca - Politically Incorrect Advice for Young Men

While I don't agree with him 100%, I'm forced to concede he has an extremely strong point.

[Mr_A]

Man this guy is Old School his got a couple good pointers but Damn!
Heres how i see it

You got 3 types of people
1) Feminine (symbolic of life)
2) Masculine (symbolic of death)
3) Children (symbolic of rebirth)
All 3 symbolic of Nature in flow

Feminine energy driven people are usually women and masculine driven people are usually men. But this is not the case all the time as the gay and lesbian community. These Principles of Mascline and Feminine Polarity is what creates sexual attraction.

Feminine energy grows by opening up into unconditional emotion
Masculine energy grows by having certain in his purpose

Now let me just say everyone has both feminine and masculine traits but everyone has a home which is either core masculine or core feminine.

The feminine serves the masculine by giving him the drive to achieve his purpose more effectively
The masculine serves the feminine by opening her up into unconditional flow of emotion and self.


Theres a lot more I can list but im gonna have a shower and have some sleep sleep

[magi13]

I disagree with the thread starter. Reminds me of witch hunts and false religious beliefs.

I guess the man who wrote that, feared women who were strong and willful and decided to keep them caged, like the women in the brother religion of christianity.



come on, you guys didn't see the similarity? fear the beautify, fear what feels good, fear what you don't understand?

Although it has strong points, it does not support equity/equality or fairness.

[Xanafax]

Yeah this guy has a few interesting points but his obvious hate / fear of strong or powerful women is clear. He even calls them whores. Now I love women and I don't this guy has his head screwed on right 'cos powerful women can be just as loving as docile women, even more so in some cases.

[Dharma]

That guy sees the world through the lens of denial. Like most people. I'm sure his words will set some people into reaction here.

I will say yosarrian's title "Is everything you've ever been taught about relationships a lie?" intriguing. Yes I would have to say so. It's probably pretty simple and easy if I just let life be and go with the flow.

This one struck me, as my little dog named Flower gave me a great opening last week.

10. Being possessive is natural. A man wants to possess a woman.

Flower is a very tenaciously independent. She will submit to the pack leader (me) now and then and loves to explore and get into trouble. She has a habit of escaping and going into neighbor's houses or jumping the wall and seeing what else is out there unrestrained by her leash.

I gave up trying to correct her as we walk. My little male dog walks right next to me and we have a great time. She, though, is always pulling and choking herself. One day the idea came to me to just let her off the leash and see what happens. Immediately the thought came to my head that "she will never come back".

That's when I made the parallel to relationship. As a man I secretly possess my girl to ensure she'll always come back. I always feel a bit of clinging in myself.

Now, go one level deeper to my internal masculine and feminine. My female dog is mirroring my feminine side's desire to explore, go over the top (over the wall), and explode with excitement. But I restrain the expression of my own feminine side because I fear, if I do, she'll never come back. (and feminine expression here means pretty much sitting the womb of the unknown and having all possibilities available to me; not dressing in girly clothes and wearing mascara )

Deep, deep, deep, deep, fear. Can I lose my feminine essence? No, but I can always play with the idea that I can.

The next question to ask myself is what is lying under my fear of losing my feminine that I don't want to experience?

The feminine essence and expression (in everyone) is what has been denied for so long. In me it is what's surfacing now. Can I deal with living the movement that the feminine will bring? Will I explode? Get thrown in jail? Become world famous? Become destitute... if I give her more expression in my life?

(Sorry for the tangent yossarian)

[RT Wolf]

"The thing to remember is that the world is run by a Luciferian cult based in London which controls brainwashing (media and education.) These Illuminati bankers and bluebloods use sex to neuter, distract and degrade both men and women. Their plan is to restore the feudal model in which we are serfs at best. They are undermining resistance by undermining our sources of cohesion and strenght: nations, races, religions and families."
savethemales.ca - Managing the Male Sex Drive

Conspiracy theory about the Illuminati running the world:
savethemales.ca - Conspiracy Too Monstrous To Conceive

The above doesn't discredit his opinions on other matters...but I'd put whatever he says through a very thorough screener.

I disagree with almost everything he says in that post you quoted.

About te question of the thread? I'd say yes, almost everything you've been taught is wrong or doesn't apply to you. That's why you're a conscious person, so you can make your own judgements about how to live your life including how you conduct your relationships.

[Cyllya]

Maybe everything this guy was taught about relationships was a lie, but I knew all this advice before I ever even had a boyfriend. I wonder where people pick this stuff up.

With the exception of #10 and parts of the intro, I'm not seeing how that stuff was politically incorrect. I think he just called it that for the attention it would bring (people thinking, "Oh! This guy is a rebel! He's so cool!").

10. Being possessive is natural. A man wants to possess a woman. Women want to be possessed. In the act of love, we say a man "possesses" a woman. Total love equals total possession. This is not the same as domination. It is a partnership based on mutual trust and respect. My wife does not share my political views on many subjects.

Here he's advocating "a partnership based on mutual trust and respect," which is all good, but how is that possession? How is possession a partnership based on mutual trust and respect, especially since he says men possess women only rather than possessing each other? I think he noticed how all the other dating advice out there has turned the men who peruse it into misogynists and threw the thing about possession in there to appeal to those men.

Likewise with his stab at feminism, the part about evil rich people "trashing heterosexual roles," New World Order, blah blah blah, have nothing to do with his advice. He just put them in for the attention-whoring they'd do.

[yossarian]

If you go to his site, you'll see he's not a "dating guru" he's a lot closer to a conspiracy guy.

Dharma, I think your point about the feminine is very interesting. It seems to me that fundamentally, the feminine is receptivity, and the masculine is initiative. If the male rejects his role of leadership, the contract is broken, and the female will reject her role of receptivity to his leadership. The female will leave. So the statement, "If I let my dog off the leash, she will leave" can be seen as a simple fact, just like "If I put my hand in the fire, I'll get burned."

Leader and follower. This seems to be the most pure form of each gender. Why should our male aspect FEAR losing the female? I don't think Henry Makow fears losing the female, but he pragmatically and consciously chooses the arrangement of leader/follower.

Any kind of FEAR is maladaptive, but I don't see fear as being necessary to this viewpoint. You can possess someone without having a fear of losing them - it is a mutually agreeable situation. The woman chooses to be possessed by a man of her choosing, and once the relationship begins she defers to his judgment as long as she is content to do so. This is voluntary possession. Fear is inability to live in the present moment. It has nothing to do with leading or following.

If at any time she stops deferring to his judgment, the relationship is over. When she starts questioning him, this is the end of the heterosexual relationship and now they turn into roommates with benefits. All the PUAs have recognized that the instant they let a woman lead in a relationship, the relationship is over. It may drag on after that, but it is miserable for both. The man is emasculated and the woman is stripped of her femininity. All the charm of a heterosexual relationship is gone.

You can be just as attached to poverty as you are to wealth. If you are scared of having possessions, you are attached to poverty, and this is delusion too. The enlightened being is comfortable to possess things but possesses them without fear of loss.

We came to this earth because we wanted to experience humanity from inside a human body. We incarnated in male or female bodies because our spirits thought, "It would be fun to play a male." or "It would be fun to play a female."

When I get in touch with my inner self, my inner self pretty much delights in heterosexual norms. My inner self says, "It is a supreme joy to play the role of Wife and Mother in God's creation." Likewise, it says, "It is a supreme joy to play the role of Husband and Father in God's creation." But it also recognizes the entire point of having polarities is that you can't be both at the same time.

I believe in freedom for everyone, and equality in terms of human rights. The point is not that anyone should be forced to accept heterosexual norms - it's that voluntarily choosing heterosexual traditional relationships will bring them the greatest joy possible out of any relationship arrangement. This is the hypothesis, and I see a lot of evidence for it.

The modern world makes my inner child cry - literally cry. When I get in touch with that inner child I have visions of him crying because the creation that he so loved has been scrubbed off the face of the earth by the censors.

It occurs to me that I've never really known a feminine woman. All the women I've known well have been raised in the modern world and taught to act like men. The only feminine woman who I've been able to observe over a long period of time is my grandmother, who has a traditional heterosexual relationship with my grandfather, and ironically, despite my feminist brainwashing, these two have always stood out to me as being healthy people in a sea of sickness. They are a team and they work well together. They've been married for over 60 years and I've never ever seen them say a cruel word to each other.

Contrast this to my parents - a Marxist father and a feminist mother - who are constantly at each other's throats. It's hideous. It's the furthest thing from love imaginable, it is hate. It's the opposite of love.

Is it because my grandparents are enlightened while my parents are evil? No, that doesn't hold up. It's because my mom has been taught to act like a man and my father has been taught to act like a woman. "Everybody Loves Raymond" is the pinnacle of this brainwashing. "Everybody Loves Raymond" is a weapon of mass destruction.

The feminist brainwashing says traditional family arrangements are sick and gender role reversal is healthy. It demonizes women who want to be wives and mothers as "stepford wives". But in reality, everytime I've see a "feminist" relationship, I see dysfunction, and everytime I've seen a conventional heterosexual relationship, I see harmony.

Before people start jumping down my throat, realize that I personally was raised by feminists in a big way. I'm extremely intimately familiar with all the feminist arguments about how heterosexual men who lead their families are alcoholics, rapists, and so on. The fact is the numbers just don't add up. All throughout history men have been willing to sacrifice their very lives for their wives - they went down on the Titanic, they go to war, they work dangerous jobs. This hasn't changed in the modern day. I've worked very unglamorous construction jobs - basically the most dangerous and unappealing jobs in the world - with poorly educated men and none of them like the work. They ALL do it for the sake of their wives and children, and they are HAPPY to do it. This is the male spirit, it is a giving, sacrificing spirit. But it is also an initiative taking spirit, a spirit of leadership.

Feminism has turned men and women alike into James Bond automatons seeking self-gratification. They seek wealth, sex, and power, and see any kind of family as an impediment to these things. For all their craving for success, do they feel joy? No. These people hit their 40s and end up depressed and suicidal, both men and women. Normal human existence happens in the context of heterosexual family. We were designed this way.

Henry Makow documents who all the leaders of the feminist movement, in their 40s and 50s, end up wishing they had a family instead of a career. This makes sense, afterall women are biologically programmed to nurture family. Likewise, men are biologically programmed to materially protect family. The man protects and provides, while the woman nurtures and loves. Doing is masculine, Being is feminine.

Many spiritual teachings today classify Doing as evil. I think this is wrong. Doing needs to be done in the right mindset, but it can't possibly be evil.