Can friendships hold you back?

[cabbie]

Can friendships and relationships hold you back?

My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for the past 5 years. Since that time, her friends have all gotten married and are now, starting to have children.

We have not lived together to force ourselves to save money and buy real estate. We have talked candidly about how we would do this- both of us would get involved in real estate.

I believe that hard work and commitment will get you towards any goal. It remains to be seen if she can expend the same amount of time and resources to her career or creating wealth. Her girlfriend’s marriages and lives are financed by inheritance, parents, and trust funds.

We actually broke up after an evening we spent with this group of her friends. I got into a shouting match with her girlfriend Vicki’s husband. To her credit, she urged us to leave since I was drinking and male testosterone was running high.

After that evening, we swore not to be in the presence of this man. Neither of us cares to be around Vicki’s husband. But moving past this experience has been difficult because it always brings back memories of our fight and the source of our breakup, which is spending time with this group of people.

My girlfriend tells me how she works things out in advance when she visits her group of friends, so that Vicki’s husband isn’t around. This is done through pre-planning and leaving the minute Vicki’s husbands shows up.

However, I have doubts our dreams will ever materialize for the fact that she will go at their beck and call when they need house sitting, a shoulder to cry on, or be there for them for superficial endeavors.

I just wish that she sever her ties completely with her friends, so our lives are simpler and we can all move on and there are no excuses to what we can both achieve together.

[RT Wolf]

You're feeling frustrated that your g/f's friends make your life complicated? I don't see enough information there to offer advice and I don't think you're looking for any. Thank you for expressing your frustration. Hope you feel better and good luck!

[SimonaRich]

I know this may sound harsh and in the face, but you only hold back yourself, no other person can hold you back.

You may use others as an excuse if you are not succeeding in something, but who you are and how much you achieved only depends on you.

If you dislike some person, you think negatively about him, and then you are creating more situations for you to see that person near you. So if you push against something, you create more of that thing. (LOA)

You see, everything is up to you. If you dislike someone, you should never think of that person unless you want to see him again.

Everything is in your control, you should not blame others who keep showing up in your life if you keep thinking about them.

[magi13]

^^, if you love your girl, you'll be civil to her friends.

When I'm with my girl, I already told her before hand I don't give a damn about her friends, but only about her and her family. The difference is that, I always treat her friends in a civil manner, because for the simple reason of being her friends.



don't drink alcohol