Why do I act or feel like this?

[velvet1]

I'm wondering why I sometimes act like this without even noticing. For example, there are days where I just don't feel attractive. One of those days where your wardrobe, hair, and face is not connecting very well. I feel so insecure, so I guess the way for me to hide is to act as if nothing is happening. Even though my mind plays trick, and tells me people are staring at me. I tend to be more social, and more people actually talk to me more plus seem more comfortable towards me.

Now, when I feel beautiful it is the opposite. I have trouble socializing and people seem to ignore me or they might be intimidated by me.

I'm trying to change this, but I'm not sure where to start. I need some advice please.

[RT Wolf]

Haha, yea. We play a lot of games we don't understand.

I dunno, maybe others are intimidated by the "beautiful" you. Perhaps you act differently when you feel you're beautiful than when you're not. Perhaps you feel that beautiful girls should act a certain way and you conform to that identity when you feel like that?

Since I haven't had this experience, perhaps you could just film yourself with a video camera in both modes and go over the footage and maybe post it here. However, I'm sure someone else will be able to offer you better advice than I can, especially if they've gone through this themselves.

[SimonaRich]

All of this is just your beliefs. What you focus on you notice. So when you focus on people noticing you, you see more people noticing you. Opposite is true too.

When you really love yourself, you will see yourself as an attractive person and all of your insecurities will leave you.

[Big C]

Perhaps when as you say you dont feel beautiful is when people can see the real you and relate to you more as a person than they would normally do when you are fully made up.

[Ralph]

I'm willing to make a bet that it's not about how you look at all. It's all about how you feel when you look as you look. To make sure I got it right, describe me:

How do you feel about socializing and people when you don't look beautiful?

How do you feel about socializing and people when you look beautiful?



In which case are you more outgoing? In which case are you more approachable? When do you feel more insecure?

Hopefully we'll get to the bottom of this

[magi13]

Originally Posted by velvet1

I'm wondering why I sometimes act like this without even noticing. For example, there are days where I just don't feel attractive. One of those days where your wardrobe, hair, and face is not connecting very well. I feel so insecure, so I guess the way for me to hide is to act as if nothing is happening. Even though my mind plays trick, and tells me people are staring at me. I tend to be more social, and more people actually talk to me more plus seem more comfortable towards me.

Now, when I feel beautiful it is the opposite. I have trouble socializing and people seem to ignore me or they might be intimidated by me.

I'm trying to change this, but I'm not sure where to start. I need some advice please.

You need a change in your perspective or how you see perceive things. Just adjust to what ever the circumstance requires and observe those who are having fun or feels fulfilled and apply what they do in life in your circumstance. ^^,

[Eric Roosevelt]

Originally Posted by velvet1

Now, when I feel beautiful it is the opposite. I have trouble socializing and people seem to ignore me or they might be intimidated by me.

Maybe you're focusing on the fact that you feel beautiful to such an extent that you set too high standards for yourself? If your expectations are too high (e.g. if you place too much significance on how you look), that could impact your interactions negatively.

[RT Wolf]

Maybe you're just too good looking. I know most guys won't even bother approaching a perfect 10 and settle for 7-9s or less, depending on who they think they are and what they think they deserve. Women get intimidated by too much beauty, too.

[echo]

Originally Posted by Ralph

I'm willing to make a bet that it's not about how you look at all. It's all about how you feel when you look as you look. To make sure I got it right, describe me:

How do you feel about socializing and people when you don't look beautiful?

How do you feel about socializing and people when you look beautiful?



In which case are you more outgoing? In which case are you more approachable? When do you feel more insecure?

Hopefully we'll get to the bottom of this

Frankly, I couldn't agree more with this response.

I also think that if you dettach from your physical concerns a bit, you'll have an easier time managing it.

[velvet1]

Originally Posted by Eric Roosevelt

Maybe you're focusing on the fact that you feel beautiful to such an extent that you set too high standards for yourself? If your expectations are too high (e.g. if you place too much significance on how you look), that could impact your interactions negatively.

I think you hit the spot on that one. It is actually true, I probably have my high standards to high.