Sleeping with my son

[scott1324]

I thought that may get some people to read the thread!

My son is 6 1/2 years old and every night comes into my bedroom and sleeps on the floor, next to my bed.

He had a bit of an insecure childhood. Mom took him, from me when he was 3and moved to Washington. 3 months later, I went to Washington and brought him back home. When he was younger, knowing that he was a little insecure, I didn't worry much about him coming into my room, but now that he is in kindergarten, it doesn't seem appropriate anymore.

I bought him a big new bed, and completely re-arranged his room, and got him a little fish tank, which we leave the light on, so it isn't completely dark in his room.

I would wake up and he would be sleeping on the cold tile floor next to my bed, so I lay pillows and a blanket next to my bed, so at least he doesn't sleep on the floor.

I have talked to him about it. I don't think he is having bad dreams, or getting scared. In fact he tells me that he doesn't even remember doing it, and is sleep walking in a sense.

He has even told me to lock my door at night or lock him in his room, so he will stop but that doesn't seem like the right thing to do, and I know he will end up crying and pounding on doors, at 2 am.

Does anyone have any suggestions, how to break him of this habit, or has anyone ever had a similar situation??

Any suggestions are more than welcomed at this point!!!

[Angela Leeds]

He probly still wants to sleep in your bed for the feeling of security. Nothing wrong with that.

My two boys are grown now, and I raised them alone since they were young. If they wanted to sleep in my bed, generally they were welcome. I wasn't the "family bed" sort, but I understood that there was value in allowing that closeness. Especially when they were sick. But if I needed my space, I'd just walk them back to their bed and tuck them in. Because it wasn't a forbidden thing in general, they rarely fought it. They're wonderfully well-adjusted now, and I sense it did much good rather than harm.

You might want to try something along the lines of "Here's your big-boy bed, your own special place. But if you need to, you can still come into daddy's bed." That way it's not forbidden. And if he comes to your bed in the middle of the night, you can walk him back to his bed if you need to. "Daddy's gonna sleep alone tonight, but I'm right here if you need me."

And my suggestion...don't stress about it at all. He'll grow up and want his own space soon enuf.

[Old Soul]

1) you can try a switch up

go and sleep on his bed with him, stay there all night , then eventually leave the bed when he falls asleep

[Honeywith4bees]

After my divorce, ALL FOUR of my kids chose to sleep in my room at night, the two little ones got the bed and the oldest two took the floor. I never asked them to leave, they always new they had the choice. It took about two years but now only the 7 year old will sometimes come down "for a snuggle".

Angela Leeds is right, it won't be long before they will want more "space" than you will! Enjoy the closeness while you can, relax, and have fun!

Good luck!

[magi13]

Enjoy this time being with your child. This may be a problem for you right now, but you'll miss it when you're child has grown. ^^,


If I had a girl or a boy, I'd always welcome them to my room. It'd be nice to have your kids bond with you. Because these are the only moments you'll enjoy being with them and as they grow older, you'll miss it.

Kids change as they grow and you'll miss the old times.

[carenkh]

Agreed with all the replies. There's not some magic age that it's right/not right for kids to sleep with their parents; everyone's different. The general public view is very judgmental of co-sleeping after toddler age - but I don't put much stock in general public sentiment. Do what works for your family. The time DOES pass, so quickly.

This week is the third anniversary of the death of a friend's child; she was only 9. For three years, her short life and death have informed many of my parenting decisions. If something were to happen to the boys, what would I regret? I would sure regret making them be alone if they indicated they wanted to be with me! I would regret every minute I didn't take advantage of an opportunity to connect.

[cookie5]

I agree with the replies here to. My son is six and when he is over to visit he always asks me to sleep in his bed or (mummy can I sleep in yours).

If he wakes up I here the little footsteps and a voice saying Mummy can i come in your bed or Mummy can you sleep in my bed.
So I hop in his bed or he comes to sleep in mine.

It's a nice thing and I have to say I am very used to it since having him sleep in my bed since he was so very little.

When I put him to bed I say it's time for bed and how much I love his room and wish it was mine and how I wish I could have his room and his bed etc. he thinks that's pretty good and I think he feels like yep Im a big boy! He likes the light on and likes to watch a cartoon sometimes and will drop off.
Nice replies once again and perhaps try the big boy stuff as a means of support.
Just think it wont be long and we will all be getting the other end of the stick! ie: Oh don't kiss me goodbye or how embarassing everyone will see you with me!

[maxrush]

Well as of now, just parents here, I'd like to talk from the kids POV.

I used to go up to my parents room middle of the night to snuggle up with my mum, till i think i was about 10. (23 Now and living on my own) and mum used to some times as some one said above walk me back to my bed or she would just skooch over and let me get under the covers.

I used to do this quite intentionally, as in not in sleep or unknowingly, even though when i was actually doing it I'd be half asleep, but I knew before going to sleep in my bed only thta after some time I'll go to mum. There was no specific 'reason' for this, I wasnt scared, me and the elder brother shared a big bed, I wasnt lonely either. It was just some thing that i wanted.

So just enjoy this. bond with your young one and give him all the attention he wants, and more.

Only recently I started having one on one conversations and connections with children, My girlfriend has a 10 year old daughter, and we bond quite well, we play together and go out all of us and we have quite a time. Children I have experienced can want a lot of your attention to the point you feel tired but when I am interested and willing to be with her, then its quite an exchange that happens.

[ns123]

Agree with all the replies here. There is nothing wrong with your son sleeping in your room unless you make it wrong.

There will be a time that your son will want his own space - believe me, that time will come. And he will be perfectly capable of sleeping in his own space, separate from yours. He will not go to college wanting to sleep next to his dad. Trust me on this.

That said, because of socioeconomic circumstances when I was growing up, I always slept in my parents' room. I did so until I was 10. My younger brother slept in my room until I was 17 (on the floor next to my bed) and he was 9. He still did so once in a while even after I was married, until he was 13. I'm kind of a 2nd mom to him.

He's now 25, totally sleeping in his own space, and me in my own space. He is a fully functional, independent, intelligent, responsible adult. And we have a very close and loving relationship, one that many people have remarked they wish they had with their siblings. Even though I slept in my own parents' room until the age of 10, I also reached an age where I wanted my own space.

So, enjoy it while it lasts. Listen to your own intuition and stop worrying about what is "right" or what is "wrong" according to the experts. Um, what makes them experts, anyway? Do what feels natural to you and your own family. Discard the rest.

[icanhaveablast]

I don't think it's necessarily something to worry about.

I didn't start consistently sleeping on my own until I was 11 or 12. My sister is 13 and I think she still sleeps with my parents pretty often.

I would either fall asleep with my parents, or I'd need one of my parents to sleep with me. It's actually pretty funny when I look back, because they'd often move me (or move themselves) after I fell asleep, and I used to get pretty upset about it when I found out.