Crying after sex

[Miia]

Hi,
Has anyone here experienced it? It has happened to me a lot… well, actually… maybe 10 times:P It`s VERY confusing and I don`t know what to think of it… it`s not a life-death problem for me but I`d be interested in what other people think of it

When I get the Big O… I get so overwhelmed sometimes that I start crying…and I get this feeling of immense sadness…I don`t know what other name to give it. It`s not a negative feeling…confusing I know..how can something sad be not negative…I`ll try to describe it a little more…it feels like…mourning…not like mourning exactly, it isn`t mourning but the feeling is similar…it`s like acceptance and release and not fighting anything and just giving up...accepting what is…and it feels sad in a positive way. It feels tragic because it`s so intense.
I`ve talked to my friends about it, about what they feel when they orgasm…they describe it as joy, happiness, etc. sometimes I get that too…most of the times actually…but then there these incidents…
My boyfriend usually wants to continue after that…but I find it hard to do… I feel like I`ve gone through the most shocking thing in my life, like, walked through a battlefield and barely survived… and then he wants more sex:P It`s really hard for me to switch back into the mood… and usually I show him that and he understands and just holds me til its over. I don`t cry much, I`m not weeping exactly…though sometimes it`s hard to stop the tears. Afterward I feel relieved but out of place somehow…like I`ve lost myself.
It`s confusing. I love my boyfriend veryveryvery much, and he loves me, and we`re really in the zone, the mood is great, I feel wonderful, so does he…it starts to get better and better and better and then happens this. I`m a mess of mascara, tears and trembling limbs, wondering: what happened?

I used to get this odd feeling with this-kind of orgasm…it started in my stomach…it felt like stingy ball inside of my stomach that started moving up…it was almost burning…I got closer and closer to the orgasm…and then it reached my throat and I came. It was so intense that it was almost unpleasant. Lately, I haven`t felt this. I know, I sound crazy…

Does anyone understand what I`m saying or can relate to it?

[gingembre]

I don't know anyone who has personally experienced this, but I know it does happen to other people. I'm trying to remember now where I've read about it, but I am drawing a blank.

The one thing that immediately comes to mind for me are the number of (submissive) friends I have who feel a deep need upon occasion for a "scene" that pushes them to the point of crying. They crave the release that comes from that, and it is something they enjoy very much. After, they get much comfort and soothing from their top/dom/etc. Don't know if that's relevant in the *least* lol but just thought I'd share!

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

It's happened to me a couple of times. I just figured it was because I had some emotion pent up and at the point of orgasm it just flows due to the nature of orgasm...how it kind of takes you out of your conscious mind for a bit. In that moment you're not fully in control?

I usually feel really good after that because all tenseness and emotion has been released and at the same time I've just gotten off. Good times.

I'd only have concern about it if it's all the time or if it's due to having been sexually abused or something along those lines.

[Pequod]

I agree with ATC. Probably it's just some deep emotions that come to the surface. It's healing.

Compare it to phenomenon of "joy tears", for example you feel super joyful because you experienced something very positive emotional, or a very moving movie that ends with a happy end. Many women (and some men too) can cry at that moment.

At such moment the very positive emotion that you feel, makes it possible for the negative emotion to 'pop up'. Those tears are very healing.

[ssandra]

Hi,

I have cried after sex as well. For me i just call it "emotions". Its not sadness, or mourning, but just a big bundle of emotions put together.

I like it, because it cleans. I feel so happy (but in a quit, still way, not bouncing of joy) afterwards.

When my husbands asks i just say "emotions" and he holds me and everything is ok.

I cannot continue to have sex after either. I just want to be held and told i am pretty and he loves me. (or nothing at all, and just be held).

I think it has to do with either emotions that are in you, that you haven´t released yet, or maybe with just the greatness of the emotion of having great sex with someone you really really love...

[ns123]

This has also happened to me as well - but only when it's a really intense climax. Like it's so much energy I can't take it and it is expressed through tears.

I'd say, don't worry about it and enjoy it! So what if you cry? It's just an expression of energy, sometimes there is no where to go but tears.

Just accept it to be an f-ing amazing climax.

As for the partner wanting to continue, but you are thoroughly spent, just tell him and for the most part, he'll just be pleased with himself.

[The David]

My advice? Cry your guts out. You are very lucky to be able to be overwhelmed by the same thing twice.

Signed, an emotionally bankrupt male.

[Angela Leeds]

I agree with ATC & Pequod...no worries. Just a release, there's nothing wrong with you. Women have periods and sometimes cry after sex, particularly when there's the need for release, and I don't think it's necessary to try to figure out where ir comes from because it could be many things. It could be sorrow coming from places far beyond anything you could understand would be affecting you...or built up frustration from something unrelated. Women are different creatures from men on many levels...mental, emotional, spiritual...just be with it. It's all good, as long as no one's freaking out about it.

[pyrogen]

If sex for you is always a really deep emotionally moving experience then maybe you should save it for someone really, really special who appreciates that.

[dhg]

Originally Posted by Miia

I used to get this odd feeling with this-kind of orgasm…it started in my stomach…it felt like stingy ball inside of my stomach that started moving up…it was almost burning…I got closer and closer to the orgasm…and then it reached my throat and I came. It was so intense that it was almost unpleasant. Lately, I haven`t felt this. I know, I sound crazy…

No, not crazy at all. Actually, I know exactly what you are speaking of. I've touched that exact same feeling. It starts in your stomach, moving up. A sense of something big happening. Something building up. Haven't really dared to let it loose fully though. It's like it would be totally uncontrollable and there's a lot of fear involved with that for me.

As some others have said here before me, I too see it as a big release. Nothing to be afraid of really. Try to accept it. It's really quite a beautiful thing.

Originally Posted by Angela Leeds

Women are different creatures from men on many levels...mental, emotional, spiritual...just be with it. It's all good, as long as no one's freaking out about it.

Well, I'm not too sure about that!

[seeker5]

This was a thread started for the purpose of helping the thread starter deal with an issue in her life. However, this thread was started about six months ago, and has been dead for about six months. Since the issue may be irrelevant due to the fact this thread has been dead for so long, and to prevent the resurrection of a thread that may be completely irrelevant, I've closed the thread.

If the thread starter would like to re-open this thread to continue talking about it, please message me or any other moderators. We'll be glad to re-open the thread.