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02-19-2009, 10:14 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Shelburne Falls, MA
Posts: 6
 |  Bittersweet
Thinking about my love life, and thinking about my past I've come to realize that I'm in a very dangerous bitter sweet place. I'm open to suggestions, criticism, and ideas... Going from 'nice-guy' to 'player' was an interesting turn of events, taking me about a year and a half to truly accomplish. I never wanted to be the 'player' but being the 'nice-guy' never worked out (emotionally or sexually), while the former at least guarantees sex. I see myself hurting women, and I'm so desensitized to the pain that many times I don't even know I'm hurting them, and yet without that 'nice-guy' face, nothing is left but the typical male *******. I feel great remorse, but feel helpless. I'm not scared to go meet new girls, and I know there is no such thing as perfect. I don't want to be the 'player' but if I don't play the game, how can I expect to gain anything? How do I put this... if I don't want to be in the lights, or prideful, or flash my cash... I notice that these women's eyes glaze over looking for another man. How can a nice-guy get noticed for his true self, when women are head over heels for the players. How can one stop themselves from becoming cold, distant and bitter, when the attraction comes only by doing things that you don't want to do. |
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02-19-2009, 10:42 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Toronto, Canuckland
Posts: 1,729
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You've got two assumptions there: 1. Nice guy OR player. Nothing in between or otherwise. I've disagreed with this assumption for a long time because what people call "nice guys" are actually wusses, who have no confidence. The PUA community does this quite a lot: you're either a "nice guy" who gets no tail or a "winner". It's called a false dichotomy, and it's a fallacy. I'm a nice guy, but I ain't a wuss. And I've been with a beautiful girl for 2 years and we're doing great. 2. You seem to be assuming that the women that you'd get for being a player are the same as being a "nice guy". You probably can't go to the same places to find thoughtful women. Hanging out in bars and clubs may be great to for a player, but if you're looking for a meaningful relationship, try classes that you're interested in. |
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02-19-2009, 11:13 PM
| #3 (permalink) | |
| Member Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 41
| Quote:
__________________ http://yintherapy.wordpress.com | |
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02-19-2009, 11:29 PM
| #4 (permalink) | |
| Banned Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 78
| Quote:
Though to answer your main question, you have to find a happy medium and balance it out. Last edited by Corey; 02-19-2009 at 11:33 PM. | |
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