Help for the fashion-challenged?

[Steve Pavlina]

Originally Posted by TumbleN

I was someone who could think of nothing besides how much my feet hurt when I went shopping. Over winter break I went shopping with my sister (very fashionable) a few times and can't tell you how much fun I had as a result of the mindset kinowear put me in. Instead of being a dreaded errand where I had to pick up new clothes, it was a fun, creative experience.

I'm definitely still in the dreaded side... more like bored to tears.

Instead of trying to learn this by reading about it online, I'd rather find someone who can go to stores with me here in Vegas and teach me their mindset as we shop. Vegas has tons of shopping if you're into fashion.

Reading about fashion might be okay for a start, but I'd prefer a more immersive hands-on education. I think that would get me up to speed much more quickly. Also, I don't need to learn everything there is to know about fashion -- I just need to adopt the mindset and skills that work for me.

I have some fashionable friends that might be up for that. In fact, I think they'd consider it a fun challenge to "fix me" in this area.

[Lenie]

I see you in organic cotton, high thread count yoga clothes, Steve.
But that's just me.

[ayobeauty]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

Instead of trying to learn this by reading about it online, I'd rather find someone who can go to stores with me here in Vegas and teach me their mindset as we shop. Vegas has tons of shopping if you're into fashion.

Reading about fashion might be okay for a start, but I'd prefer a more immersive hands-on education. I think that would get me up to speed much more quickly. Also, I don't need to learn everything there is to know about fashion -- I just need to adopt the mindset and skills that work for me.

I have some fashionable friends that might be up for that. In fact, I think they'd consider it a fun challenge to "fix me" in this area.

Steve...visit www.aici.org and look in their directory for a consultant in Vegas. AICI consultants are trained to provide you exactly what you mentioned above. If you take one thing from me...please don't let your friends "fix you up." Most people without the training are just winging it (trust me). Use the skills of someone who is passionate and knowledgeable about this area and be prepared to learn. Your closet is a great place to jar your creativity once you learn all the fundamentals. If you can creatively dress yourself using the foundational elements of art and science as it relates to you...it will be easier to apply your creativity confidently to other areas of your life. Interview a few of the consultants and look for the right fit.

Great luck to both you and Erin. I can't wait to see the finished results. I'm looking forward to a more visually self-expressed you.

p.s. be mindful of personal shoppers. As valuable as they are, their goal is to sell you merchandise. You instead want to be empowered with the tools and resources to shop on your own. You have to begin a relationship with a personal shopper already knowing what colors look best on you, what style shapes suit your body type, your style personality and your lifestyle, i.e. you tell them what you need specifically instead of the other way around.

Style is always about inner pride. People should feel good just looking at you.

[Halffull]

Rather than trying to be up on "fashion", I'd recommend working on your style... find people who convey the traits that you yourself have, and figure out what clothing they have that conveys that.

From that, you should be able to figure out a "baseline style" that fits you, probably just some sort of t-shirt and some sort of pants. Then, you add layers, again looking to guys who convey what you want to convey for inspiration. Finally, you add accessories.

Then you start again by upgrading the baseline... making it a bit more your own. Continue with the layers, and on and on.

Been meaning to write an article about this.

[IFeelGood]

Steve,
For starters, walk into any JCrew store and ask to speak with a personal shopper. It's a free service that all of their stores offer and probably a good starting point for a wardrobe update. Their styles are classic yet modern and of good quality. The clothes do make the man...

Men's Clothing - Men's Underwear, Dress Shirts, Shorts, Ties, Jeans, Boxer Briefs, & More - J.Crew

[edith]

Originally Posted by IFeelGood

Steve,
For starters, walk into any JCrew store and ask to speak with a personal shopper. It's a free service that all of their stores offer and probably a good starting point for a wardrobe update. Their styles are classic yet modern and of good quality. The clothes do make the man...

Men's Clothing - Men's Underwear, Dress Shirts, Shorts, Ties, Jeans, Boxer Briefs, & More - J.Crew

Oh, yes, Steve! Do J. Crew! But don't do it all J. Crew. Cuz then you'd look too...too...J. Crew.

That's the thing about learning your own style, like many people here have said. It's got to come from you.

But in the beginning, it helps to just try stuff on that someone you trust says looks good and bite the bullet and wear it a bit even if you're not yet super comfortable in the new clothes.

I had someone help me with buying stuff after my kids were born and I got out of that maternity/new mom blah phase. I was going on a trip and had nothing to wear (no, going naked was not an option on this trip LOL). At first I felt all funny - but at least better than before! After a few months, I started to get a feel for it and for choosing things myself. Now I have so much fun shopping! And just getting myself together for the day. I definitely do it for myself!

Unfortunately as adults, we don't do that "dress-up" thing that little girls (at least) do with such abandon. It's too bad because I think when making changes in ourselves sometimes we just need to try things on for size. What holds us back? We might look silly? I have a dream to open a clothing store where there is a dressing room area that is more conducive to trying on clothes - better lighting, skinny mirrors (not exactly fun house skinny but ones that give a light edge), privacy, helpful, supportive, warm & fuzzy sales staff...like a good ol' fashioned girls' dress-up party. (Not sure how guys would feel about that!) Changing the outside may make a person realize that they can be different on the inside, too.

Good luck! I can't imagine that it would be hard to find zillions of people willing to help you shop. Wait...poof...just had this vision...you're going to make the best-dressed list!

[ns123]

I dunno if you have watched "What Not To Wear" yet. But it's one of the shows I love to watch! They do tend to dress everyone in such a way that is "standard" and not of their personal style though.

Anyway, I think an image consultant is a good way to go. You'll have to interview several, to make sure they are really interested in helping you express the real you.

Some times, some consultants are more interested in making you over instead of helping you express your real personal style.

I have been dressing my husband since we dated. And he's partial to polo shirts and jeans. My brother has a different personal style, which is entirely different from my husband. So I would never dress them anywhere similar, even though I buy clothes for the both of them all the time.

Good luck in your search for an image consultant. And good on you on recognizing you need help and reaching out for it!

[Lenie]

Originally Posted by edith

Oh, yes, Steve! Do J. Crew! But don't do it all J. Crew. Cuz then you'd look too...too...J. Crew.

Good luck! I can't imagine that it would be hard to find zillions of people willing to help you shop. Wait...poof...just had this vision...you're going to make the best-dressed list!

Lol

[carenkh]

Originally Posted by SunnKali

Not sure how far you are from Draper Utah, but Carol Tuttle does a form of image consulting that includes energy profiling along with finding clothes that work for you.

for men

for women

I was going to suggest Carol Tuttle, but couldn't remember her name! It's interesting work!

[Eric Roosevelt]

I'd love to help, but I'm pretty fashion-challenged myself.

Perhaps we could go shopping together and our two negatives would coalesce and make a positive.

Wait, no, that probably wouldn't work.

[Bene]

I third Kinowear.com

Once upon a time, I didn't care about fashion that much. When I began wearing better clothes and taking care of how I looked... I actually felt uncomfortable because this wasn't the old me. But soon that changed as I felt really good in expressing myself through the way I look. Its almost like an art form and its fun.

I read fashion magazines (Details, GQ) for general rules and ideas. I worked with those ideas to find the right expression for me.

If you are looking for hands on help in person, I would hire (the right) image consultant especially since cost might not be a factor for you.

[jaamkie]

it also might help to think about (or ask Erin about) what are your absolute favorite clothes, and why? Of course, some are emotional associations, some just comfort, but some you're probably partially attracted to because you aesthetically like how they look on you. Start from what you love, and look for more items that are different but capture that important element. For me, I like saturated deep colors and simple flowing styles- though I'm not much into taking "fashion risks" or following trends, I just bought a pair of very-purple ballet flats, love them, have worn them everywhere, and have received several positive comments on them- most important though, I feel like they are me and I will wear them until they wear out, although I realize they're in the store because of a trend-of-the-moment toward purple.

[phoenixxx]

Hey Steve!


What I've found helpful is to look through a lot of different perspectives on style.
While it's easier to just go and look in the shops, you don't always get a wide range of what's available. For example, going to a shopping centre in a conservative town would only expose you to conservative types of dress.

I've been exposing myself to a lot of different sources- such as blogs from aorund the world, magazines, certain friends, people from different cliques etc. looking for something that appeals to me.
You may find, like I have, that the reason you aren't interested in fashion like others are, is because you're disenchanted with what's available.
I also found that I had to process a lot of baggage I had towards dressing the way I wanted to.

So don't be discouraged if it takes awhile to find what you're looking for! You'll know when you've found a look that resonates with you.

[bellbird]

Steve I can highly recommend using a fashion stylist. I met a wondeful lady who's become my fashion stylist and trust me: it works wonders! Susan did her homework on my shape, dressing styles preferences, colours, accesories etc and so forth. She put pieces aside at a store over a few days and I arrived at 4 pm and left an hour later after a thorough but effective session with the whole winter wardobe sorted. I has brought in skirts and pants etc that she had deemed succesfull to complement. It was brilliant as I don't have time to shop around with working 7 days a week.

Also: sometimes we think we know how to do it, but in the end of the day we frump up or make a booboo. A fashion stylist will tell you what works and why and it saves you TONS of time. It's money well spent I reckon and ultimately yuo don't throw money away on pieces that you end up not wearing because they turned out wrong

Mindpopsicles

[magi13]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

It's no secret that I'm fashion-challenged. I've never liked shopping for clothes, and I've never been interested in fashion. Being colorblind makes clothing selection particularly tough for me. I also stick with cruelty-free clothing only, which rules out leather and wool.

After losing some weight last year, most of my clothes are too big now, so it's time to assemble a new wardrobe anyway. I figured this might be a good time to get help creating a wardrobe that's a better fit for me instead of just stumbling ahead blindly. I never quite felt comfortable with most of the selections I made in the past, but I don't really know what I'm doing wrong.

Another problem is that I married a woman who's also fashion-challenged and who doesn't like shopping for clothes either. So no help there.

Do you think it would be worthwhile to work with an image consultant? Do you know anything about that? Is there any substance to it, or it is just fluff? Should I just get help from friends who dress well and who aren't colorblind?

Basically I'd like to put together a wardrobe that feels like a good expression of the real me. I don't want to project a false image for branding purposes or anything like that. The problem is that I have a hard time finding clothes that seem right to me.

If you know something about this subject, any advice or suggestions would be appreciated.

Gentlemen's Quarterly. It's a little bit mainstream but, it's up to date with men's fashion. GQ

[RRR]

Originally Posted by Steve Pavlina

TLP-alignment would suggest finding a style that's a truthful expression of who you are, that feels good to you and helps you connect with others, and that you find empowering.

Being nude at a nudist colony would be fine. But doing that in public would just get you arrested.

Within the TLP framework there should be solutions to every question.

I'm reminded of your passage on Careers. You aren't your medium, you are your message. You should not aim to dress as a blogger, author, or speaker. You should aim to dress as a person committed to growth and helping others grow.

However, that line is very hard to define when it is applied socially! Your personal branding has been defined as:

1. Smart (182)
14. Creative (38)
16. Successful (33)
37. Geek(y) (18)
38. Ambitious (17)
39. Vegan (17)
40. Practical (17)

How would a Smart, Creative, Successful, Geeky, Ambitious, Practical, Vegan Dress?
Does being Geeky disempower you socially?
What parts of your personal brand do you want to display through clothing?
The Steve Pavlina I imagine on a casual day would have:

All Vegan clothing. No tie (entrepreneur). A creative necklace: Trek, Raw Food, TLP, etc. Casual slacks (no Jeans, slacks = successful & smart) Button up shirt (successful & smart) with a creative t-shirt underneath. The line you will need to figure out is: Are you more business, or are you more raw vegan? Business will have a familiar cultural pattern (What Dan suggested). Raw Vegan will allow more creativity and the ability to use non-western cultures.

Question: Is the basis of being judged and appraised based on clothing valid as Truth? You were saying people were automatically opening you in spite of your clothing a while back. Does this still hold true? Perhaps clothing isn't very important if you can connect with your desires in sweatpants.

If connection is based energetically, then that leaves communication and communion. "When you meet someone new, the first step is to discover your shared interests, values, and attitudes." These can be expressed through personal branding?
Communion: Will your clothing inspire people to discuss small-talk (Nice suit!) or will they dive into important conversation?

Any opinions on how to address this from a more in Depth TLP & personal branding insight? I'm very torn between a belief in abundance and a belief that materialism is unethical (harm due to spending money, land, time on clothing, accessories, entertainment, while people starve to death), is there a way to reconcile this? I'd love to see any personal notes you have on material self-expression (clothing especially) or to see you grow in this area.

[gingembre]

Originally Posted by ayobeauty

Steve...visit www.aici.org and look in their directory for a consultant in Vegas. AICI consultants are trained to provide you exactly what you mentioned above. If you take one thing from me...please don't let your friends "fix you up." Most people without the training are just winging it (trust me). Use the skills of someone who is passionate and knowledgeable about this area and be prepared to learn. Your closet is a great place to jar your creativity once you learn all the fundamentals. If you can creatively dress yourself using the foundational elements of art and science as it relates to you...it will be easier to apply your creativity confidently to other areas of your life. Interview a few of the consultants and look for the right fit.

Great luck to both you and Erin. I can't wait to see the finished results. I'm looking forward to a more visually self-expressed you.

p.s. be mindful of personal shoppers. As valuable as they are, their goal is to sell you merchandise. You instead want to be empowered with the tools and resources to shop on your own. You have to begin a relationship with a personal shopper already knowing what colors look best on you, what style shapes suit your body type, your style personality and your lifestyle, i.e. you tell them what you need specifically instead of the other way around.

Style is always about inner pride. People should feel good just looking at you.

I second all the above. Since money for such a "treat" is not a big problem for you, I would say go for it. Obviously, use your gut - you will know who is passionate about teaching you how to "do for yourself" and who is only trying to sell you something.

I have developed a style that is largely "consistnent" over a number of years, at least to my eyes. To a random observer, many of the outfits will look very different from one another! But to me they share a similar sensibility, particularly in cut (something fitted but not tight, for the most part - fit is SO important!) Even my very fashion-conscious husband (he of the fashion-watching, season-styling for himself mindset) has conceded over the years that the crazy looks he likes to try on me are just not "me", and that 97% of the time, the stuff I pick up within the first 10 minutes of being in the store are the pieces that look best on me. It took some time to be able to scan and find those things so quickly though.

Oh, and on the point of hiring a professional - it will help the learning curve tremendously. I still am extremely grateful for the family optometrist that sat down with me in my late teens and analyzed my face and why certain frames look better on me than others (for instance, with a small head and features all close togetehr in the middle, a shiny metal bridge over the nose does not look as good as something matte) has set the tone for the many pairs of glasses i have bought in the years since. And they all look remarkably similar LOL! (Even the "helpful" sales associates decided that none of their choices looked as good as the first pair I selected - bonus for me that they were the cheapest too!)

[munish]

I found a web site for this.

ASK ANDY ABOUT CLOTHES

[nocturne]

alright steve post a picture of your self and we will see.

1. fit over style
2. anything looks good on a fit v shape body
3. faux leather

[Writertype]

Hey Steve, fellow colorblind guy here. Keeping it simple works for me. The key is finding clothes that are a good fit for your body. That takes shopping around in my case because I can't afford expensive tailored clothes, but if that is an option for you that could work.

I tend to go with jeans or khakis (since they will not often clash with anything). Then, depending on the look you are going for, a simple button up shirt or t-shirt. I usually go with relatively plain black or brown shoes, or sandals in warmer weather.

The key after that, I think, is attending to the details. A nice watch helps, and a stylish haircut or hat does as well. Sunglasses go well with most outfits if you are outside much. Just try on things until something looks "right" to you and then wear it confidently! Doing that has gotten me compliments as a "good dresser," although I am in my early twenties and I generally dress more like a student than a 'professional.' I also know what kind of clothes tend to draw compliments for me, especially from women, and I keep that in mind when shopping.

Being colorblind I think we should stay away from loud colors-- what looks good to us might not look so great to the rest of the world. You can, however, wear a loud shirt with plainer pants and accessories without too much worry (what's it going to clash with?). Combining simple but well cared for clothes with a couple of accessory items and a smile should get past the problem easily!

[Dot]

Steve, you need Garanimals!

Garanimals was founded on a simple but unique concept: to help parents and children coordinate outfits easily. Each animal represents a line within the collection. Each of the distinct animal lines consists of mix and match separates, whose color and style coordinate with any piece within that same animal line. Each animal then becomes an identifier for the simple piecing system.

Garanimals Clothing

[Practical Manifestations]

Steve,
The great thing today is that you don't need to have a clue about what looks good on you to look good. Recently I went to the Mens Warehouse near my house looking for a dress suit. The assistant manager there, I mean the guy just has an eye like you wouldn't believe. I know you probably aren't anywhere near Rhode Island, but this is the guy you need for your wardrobe concerns. I don't get sold much stuff that I didn't plan on buying in the first place, but when this guy showed me a second business casual suit--I had to move on it. Granted you are talking about re-doing your entire wardrobe, but business casual is a great place to start. They'll set the tone and let you create your own image. They are a little on the pricey side, but the end result is worth it. I wish you luck in your wardrobe endeavor,

[The David]

What on earth would motivate a colorblind, vegan, heterosexual male to wear clothing?

Signed,
Someone who once said out loud that Goodwill was 'too preppy'.

[Aware]

Originally Posted by Dan.Linehan

Just some quick advice:

• Own about a dozen nice, dark undershirts. Instead of solid colors, go for the "heather" style, like the pic below. This style always looks better. Tri-blend is best if you can find it, as the polyester and rayon gives the material a more snug fit, and a softer feel. Get as many different colors as possible, and you can alternate throughout the week, or use as undershirts.
  
  Online Catalog - Wholesale Resources - American Apparel
  
  
  
  
• Two or three pairs of Dark Jeans. There are a few different cuts. I'd reccommend the 559s, but if another cut stands out to you, go for it.
  
  
  
• Two or three pairs of nice khakis or cords. Flat front. No cargo. No front pleats.
  
  
  
• Two or three pairs of Levi Action Slacks. I reccommend this brand because they look like suit pants (very fancy) - come in flat front, yet are machine washable. They don't require any extra care or dry cleaning.
  
  
  
• A bunch of dress shirts. Once you know your neck and sleeve size, just pick out whatever stands out in a store -- or you can buy in bulk. <-- (Unfortunately, that deal is only for neck size 18 -- I think you are probably 16.5 or 17. Also, the ties are silk, so that's highly questionable.) If you buy shirts in stores get the athletic fit -- that's important so the shirts aren't baggy around the love handles. Athletic fit dress shits will generally be in a whole separate section. I usually do lighter colored dress shirts to gain some contrast from the darker undershirt and pants.
  
  
  
• Moo Shoes -- 'nuff said there.
  

Completely off topic, but is that a model?