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Old 01-22-2009, 04:22 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jan 2009
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edith is on a distinguished road
Default The Base Level

I'm puzzled about trying to open up relationships. Not sure I even know what the issues are until I write them here...

Let's say that you're a person who is not happy in your current LT relationship. Just doesn't float your boat. You can't imagine this being IT for the rest of your life.

So you want to move on...divorce?

You love your LT companion but as a partner in life, a "soulmate", not so much. You think...."I really want to stay close to this person - they are family to me - but I really want to have a relationship with someone who fires me on all cylinders." The current partner just leaves you feeling anxious and exhausted.

The old naggy voice in the head says: "Ahhhhh c'MON! You just want to have sex with another person!!! Get real! You need to settle right down and *work at it* and *the dreaded* go out on some dates!!! and you'll realize that what you're missing is commitment and responsibility. *That's* what will give you fulfillment.

Do I just want to have sex with another person? To be honest, I do! But that's not all! I want to be with someone with whom I feel alive. Yes, I could feel alive on my own or with my current partner, but must we always settle???

I believe I know what I want but the naggy auntie voices ring in my head that I'm being selfish and childish and fickle. How do I drive that old bitty out out out? I know it's more than sex or "simple passion"; it is truly deeper than that. Yet....yet...our societal memes are such that they always reduce it to a base level - "Yeah, you may think it's about a deeper connection, but c'MON! it's sex, and you know it!!"

grrr :/
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