Awkward Moment With Psychiatrist

[Shyone]

Okay, so....

I get sick, have a bipolar episode and end up in the hospital. My psychiatrist that I see regularly, visits me while I'm having my episode at the psych ward. I say some things that may have been rude/offensive to my psychiatrist. Im not going to say exactly what happened, but let me assure you that it was embarrassing. Long story short, I get discharged from the hospital, have an appointment with my psychiatrist, and she is visibly angry/upset and she's seems really uncomfortable to even be talking to me. I decide that the most appropriate thing would be to go to a new doctor. Now this involves finding a psychiatrist and getting a referral from my family doctor. My cousin works for a psychiatrist, and says that she almost guarantees that she can get me a space with the psychiatrist she works for. This process isn't going to be immediate, and may take a month or two. This means that I will still have to endure awkward appointments with my psychiatrist. Now, even though nothing is for sure, and it may be a month or two before I get transferred, should I let my current psychiatrist know about it, so that she understands, and may feel less uncomfortable, knowing that I am taking the necessary steps to rectify the situation and move on. OR should I not tell her that I am looking for a new psychiatrist? Would it be unprofessional of me to tell her that I am looking for a new psychiatrist? My parents say that I should wait until I know for sure that I am going to another one, just incase I end up not being able to get in with this other doctor. However, my parents aren't aware of what happened in the hospital......what is your suggestion? What would you do in this situation? Would you give your psychiatrist a heads up, or would you kind of keep quiet, and continue to endure awkward appointments with her?

[IceWolf]

I would try having an honest discussion about the problem with the old psychiatrist. It sounds like the awkwardness could be because neither of you wants to raise the subject.

[ZHereford]

I'm surprised that your psychiatrist is uncomfortable with you. She of all people should understand that you were in the hospital and probably under duress of some sort.

I definitely think you should be honest. If you're both uncomfortable it could hinder or undo any previous progress. Who knows it could even clear the air?

[Vie]

Originally Posted by Shyone

should I let my current psychiatrist know about it, so that she understands, and may feel less uncomfortable, knowing that I am taking the necessary steps to rectify the situation and move on. OR should I not tell her that I am looking for a new psychiatrist? Would it be unprofessional of me to tell her that I am looking for a new psychiatrist?

You are not intended to be profesionnal there, but healed Your feelings are most important in a therapy and it is crucial to help you that you share them. I think you will benefit from being honest and open with your psychatrist. If it makes things better; great and if not, you can continue working on finding a new one. Is it possible for you to get the opinion of another psychiatrist or health professionnal on the matter? (as your doctor, maybe). You say you have bordeline troubles, so maybe you should double check your assumptions about whether or not you would benefit from changing therapist, and whether or not your current psychiatrist is uncomfortable because of what happened (maybe she is uncomfortable for another reason)

From what I read you seem afraid of your current therapist and/or her reaction. Keep in mind these people are there to help you and also that you have the freedom to find a new one if it just doensn't work out with this one.

[Shyone]

At this point I'm committed to going to a new psychiatrist, I'm just wondering if it would be better for me to tell her that I am in the process of doing this, or if I should just wait until I've secured a spot with another psychiatrist.

[cacheborn]

Shyone,
I am surprised that you are having this problem. I have been in therapy for 3 years and I had my share of problems with my therapist. From what I unederstand, a therapist rarely expresses her feelings. In fact she encourages you to express yours as openly as possible. So there is absolutely no point in keeping things/feelings from a therapist. She is there to listen to you. It is surprisinmg that SHE is acting angry.

So I would say, go ahead and unburden yourself. Tell her everything. You have a professional relationship with her so the question of upsetting her does not arise. If you find it hard to connect with her, you can chose another therapist, which you are going to do.

[jay78]

It really depends on what you said.

I mean, yea, she's a psychiatrist and all...and she should be at a level of emotional stability, especially with her line of work, where she wouldn't let things said during an episode get to her like that.

But if it was like really bad...she is a human being and she easily could be emotionally raw about it, especially the next day. Like I said though, I have no idea what was said or what happened so my evaluation of the situation is blind at best.

Also, keep in mind that you said she looked angry, not that she said she was angry...she also was meeting with you, which should tell you something...you never know, maybe her kid got really fresh with her on the way to school that morning.

Aside from all this...despite what was said and how bad or how not bad it was, it seems to me like the dynamics of the healing relationship have changed and even if it is based on a misunderstanding, it probably is best to seek help somewhere else, as you seem to want to do that anyway.

[jendoe]

Don't go to the psychiatrist that your cousin works for. This is asking for trouble for you, honestly - it's a "broken frame" (assuming the psych is doing some counseling, rather than just prescribing meds?)

In therapy, you have a "frame" for the relationship - which is supposed to make you feel safe enough to be open and honest and share yourself. Part of that is your therapist not knowing the other people in your life, part of it is boundaries around your time (not going over, not kicking you out early), part is not having intrusions during your time (phones ringing, knocks on the door).

Knowing your cousin is right outside the door working, seeing you every time you go in or come out, seeing the doc's reaction after you leave (even if the doc never gives out personal information - what if she looks frustrated or upset or relieved that you've left) - I think this would make the relationship a mess (very unsafe feeling) for most people.

Someone in the comments mentioned that you have borderline issues as well (sorry if I missed that in your post) - which also makes it a bad idea. Won't you be tempted to talk to you cousin, ask her all about your doctor, and find out things you may not want to know?

I'm just thinking that it won't be the best relationship for you, which means you'll end up wasting time and money (and they're so expensive as it is!).

Like everyone else, I think it would be FANTASTIC if you could actually talk to your current psy about what happened. Right now, you are acting completely on your interpretation of events - which could be wrong. How can you know that she's angry (assuming she hasn't told you)?

She's the professional, she should be able to handle it, but you're right - maybe she can't. You need to know FOR SURE before you just ditch her and run away (speaking as one who's rather an expert at running away, I assure you!)

It's confrontation, and it's scary, because she COULD be totally rejecting. She COULD say, "yes, you really screwed up and upset me and I don't want you to come back."

Hopefully she won't, but sometimes people surprise us in bad ways And really, when things like that happen, it's often more about THEM then about YOU.

Here's what I'd do. Go to your next appointment. Sit down and tell her, "I've got something really important I need to talk to you about." (If you feel scared/nervous/whatever, you can throw that in too - "but I'm a little nervous about bringing it up...")

Then tell her. Tell her that you realize you said some really hurtful things (or however you'd describe them), if you feel the need to apologize, do that, and then ask - are you upset? Because you've seemed kind of upset to me, and I was wondering if perhaps I should start looking for a new therapist.

She also has a professional obligation to provide references to you, if I understand correctly, so even if she does ask you to go - she may be able to refer you to someone who she thinks will be a better fit.

If you do go, yes, tell her. This way you have a chance for some closure.

Again, this is all assuming she's doing some kind of counseling and you've bonded with her... if she's just giving you prescriptions, I'm not sure how that changes the whole thing.

Best of luck to you, it sounds like a tough situation... and I hope you're feeling a bit more even-keeled now...

[The Cloud]

You should be honest with your psychiatrist, otherwise there is no point. She is the one who is supposed to be professional, not you. You're the patient, you get to say whatever you want. I'm for telling her how you feel about the situation. If she's really a good psychiatrist, she will use this to help you. From what I understand of psychiatry, you need to be able to have an honest open relationship with her for anything to be accomplished at all.