Couples who sleep in separate bedrooms

[painofsalvation]

My girlfriend is moving in soon, so I've been thinking about the idea of us sharing the same bedroom. And I don't like it.

I sleep better and feel more rested when I sleep by myself. Moreover I think it keeps the relationship more interesting, avoiding some of the traps that come with too much intimacy. But my girlfriend likes to sleep by my side. She says she feels a sense of security when she sleeps and wakes up with me.

What are your thoughts on couples who sleep in separate bedrooms?

[Brien]

I have been in a similar situation. I hated sleeping next to my girlfriend. "I need REAL rest!", I would say

Maybe you should try it. At first, it is difficult to sleep next to someone when you are used to sleeping alone. After a week or so, it because normal. Trust me, you can get used to it.

[Angela]

Danger Man and I live next-door to each other, and it is the perfect arrangement. Depending on what's going on the next day, like if we have an early audition or flight or coaching session, we might agree to go to our separate corners.

Even aside from sleeping arrangements, this works really well for us because we both often need to recharge with some solitude.

[Daffy Duck]

I am reportedly fairly hard to sleep with. I tend to:

1. Steal all of the blanket, no matter how big it is.
2. Take your pillow, only to put it on the floor beside the bed. (No pillow for yoooou!)
3. Talk in my sleep. I've been told by many people that I've had full conversations with them, but I was asleep the whole time and have no recollection of the conversation.
4. Toss/turn/light snoring on occasion.

I used to sleepwalk but I don't think I have in many years.

Still, my girlfriend prefers sleeping with me than without me. I think she got used to my quirks.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Daffy Duck

1. Steal all of the blanket, no matter how big it is.

That reminds me of one more helpful thing Danger Man and I have learned:

TWO blankets.

[lasti]

Originally Posted by Angela

Danger Man and I live next-door to each other, and it is the perfect arrangement. Depending on what's going on the next day, like if we have an early audition or flight or coaching session, we might agree to go to our separate corners.

Even aside from sleeping arrangements, this works really well for us because we both often need to recharge with some solitude.

Yeah, that seems to me like the ideal living situation for a couple. Want that too sometime.

[SomeRandomGuy]

My wife and I have been sleeping in separate beds for 3 or 4 years now. It is one of the best moves we could have made. Our preferences for sleeping arrangements are very different.

• I like open windows / it bothers her allergies
• I like using a feather pillow / they bother her allergie
• She likes noise from the radio or tv / I need silence to sleep

We have slept in the same bed a handful of times during that period, and I never slept well. My sleep is much more restful when I have the bed to myself. In fact, when we are traveling we always get a room with two beds if possible.

We do get strange looks from some people when we explain that we have separate rooms and do not sleep together. I think, however, that a lot of people would enjoy such an arrangement if they were willing to give it a try. Many people view sleeping separate as a sign of relationship problems, so would never be willing to try it. If people could overcome that perception, however, I think they would be pleasantly surprised. I don't think this is the idea situation for all couples. I am sure that some couple genuinely sleep better in the same bed. Sleeping arrangements, however, aren't one-size-fits-all.

[RT Wolf]

Well, maybe it can be the same room, but two different beds seperated from each other?

[DerekH]

Originally Posted by Angela

That reminds me of one more helpful thing Danger Man and I have learned:

TWO blankets.

Very key!

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by Angela

Danger Man and I live next-door to each other, and it is the perfect arrangement. Depending on what's going on the next day, like if we have an early audition or flight or coaching session, we might agree to go to our separate corners.

Even aside from sleeping arrangements, this works really well for us because we both often need to recharge with some solitude.

sounds like the ideal relationship to me

[lifetimelearner]

my ex would get insulted if I would leave the room to sleep elsewhere


I hope my next partner will be more open to things like separate beds
I do not see the problem

I like my whole queen bed to myself

[sheffy4]

[QUOTE=Daffy Duck;287641]I am reportedly fairly hard to sleep with. I tend to:


2. Take your pillow, only to put it on the floor beside the bed. (No pillow for yoooou!)
QUOTE]

oh man, that's HILARIOUS! lol just picturing that makes me smile to myself.

I think having separate bedrooms would be good for many reasons. In my last relationship I felt like a didn't have my own space because my boyfriend took up the whole bedroom with his computers and TV. I felt like it was his bedroom. If we had separate rooms I could have had my own space, and I think it would be kind of fun to to separate and come together again after a good nights sleep. You should definitely try it, and you can always change your mind later and share a room.

[allirowe23]

This sounded so weird to me at first. I'm not in a relationship right now but in a previous relationship my boyfriend would pressure me to sleep with him (like share the same bed,) and I did but never liked to. I liked my own bed and my own space. I just never realized that its okay to want to sleep by yourself and have your own space.

[JGrace]

Originally Posted by painofsalvation

My girlfriend is moving in soon, so I've been thinking about the idea of us sharing the same bedroom. And I don't like it.

I sleep better and feel more rested when I sleep by myself. Moreover I think it keeps the relationship more interesting, avoiding some of the traps that come with too much intimacy. But my girlfriend likes to sleep by my side. She says she feels a sense of security when she sleeps and wakes up with me.

What are your thoughts on couples who sleep in separate bedrooms?

there is an easy compromise....
sometimes sleep together, sometimes not.

My guy starts off sleeping alone, and then around 4 to 6 am
he gets into bed with me.

works for both of us.

[painofsalvation]

Thank you all for the replies and ideas! I realized I'm not the only one with this problem.