Thoughtlessness

[JaredR]

I understand that most teenagers are unkind. But it still hurts to experience it.

I made two new friends this year. I will call them Marie and Anthony. Marie invited me to work on a service learning project with her and Anthony. The project was not that interesting to me, but I said yes anyway to encourage our friendship. We met in October to make plans, but nothing happened for a long time because Marie was waiting for the grant money to come in.

Finally, today, Marie and I were eating lunch with one of the school librarians (we do this sometimes to plan our book club meetings). Before we left, Marie told the librarian, who is also a service learning advisor, "Anthony and I are meeting at my house tonight to work on the project."

I felt crushed. I was not invited. We didn't talk about it.

I don't know why. Why was I excluded like this? I am not as concerned about the project as I am concerned about how thoughtless Marie seemed to be. I feel like we're too early in the friend stage for me to call her out on it, but I don't know how to react.

Maybe I am being too sensitive?

[LifeHawk]

There's a few possibilities here:

1. She forgot (or neglected) to invite you. Happens to busy people all the time.

2. She doesn't think your heart is on the project.

3. She (or Anthony or both) doesn't want you on the project.

The fastest way to get a resolution on this is to speak to Marie face to face, tell her what you overheard, and ask her if she still wants or needs you on the project.

This could be a blessing in disguise. Perhaps you are out of that project that you're not interested in, but you still have Marie's friendship (and perhaps Anthony's).

It sucks to be excluded, but by speaking honestly you will be able to move in or on faster.