How do you have sex? [Adult]

[sk8joyful]

Originally Posted by estudiant9

I'm a 23-year-old straight male who is a virgin.

I will probably have my first intercourse within the next few months. And I don't know how.

Please tell me I'm not the only one in the world that didn't get the memo? Could someone help me out here? Thanks!

And the girl of your dreams, & you are 1st. getting married, right?
Not to worry, rest assured that in you 2-successfully communicating, you will both figger this out
After all -
you know there was no "sex-ed", 2000 yrs. ago.

[Magicinthenight]

I really don't think you need to watch porn to learn how it's done. Sure, you can pick up a few tricks but in the end sex is about connecting with the other person and tuning into what turns them on and watching porn won't teach you that.

I know it can be hard to relax when it's your first time, but take your time, have lots of time for cuddling, kissing and foreplay, it'll help you ease into it. And hey, even if it ain't that great the first time, it's a fun thing to learn.

[Alison Jenkins]

You know I'm sure the passion will carry you there. Just take your time and if your not ready it's ok to say so. If I look back I didn't know what to do either but it just happened. I didn't need a text book etc my body naturally told me
Alison

[brandongilbert]

Originally Posted by estudiant9

Um, okay, this is not a joke, but there's just no discreet way to ask this.

I'm a 23-year-old straight male who is a virgin. I will probably have my first intercourse within the next few months. And I don't know how. I belong in the 3% of the American male population that don't watch porn regularly (Obviously I'm being tongue-in-cheek), and probably have watched less than an hour of porn total in my entire life. Well my point being, if you were a woman of my dreams and you have just openly invited me to your bed, I wouldn't know what to do.

I understand that there's a thing called foreplay. And you're supposed to find the right orifice and insert and engage in a thrusting motion until climaxing. Apparently there are various positions of doing it but let's not get into that yet. Are you supposed to talk with your partner while doing it? Are you supposed to trim your hair beforehand? Shower?

I mean, how are you supposed to pick this up, other than by asking your parents? One of my many, many fears is that, and I say this with complete sincerity, I might go for her urinary opening instead of her vagina. And oral sex? Which one comes first? Where was I when they taught all this??

I'm telling you, I didn't go to an all-boys Catholic high school (no offense to those who did; many of you probably fare better than I). I just haven't come across that many experiences with the opposite sex (I've only kissed one girl). It's not even due to lack of opportunities since I'm in college. I just didn't put that much importance on sex, and socializing in general, until recently.

Please tell me I'm not the only one in the world that didn't get the memo? Could someone help me out here? Thanks!

.talk to the person

.find educational dvds and books

.watching porn, however keep in mind that it is pretty unrealistic and wont get you that far.

[aussieNickuss]

If you do get into a bit of porn, go for the amateur/user-generated porn as this is usually "the real thing" unlike the acted, scripted unrealistic commercial crap. Look up youporn and redtube. They're like the YouTube of adult content where the users upload their own footage.

[schola]

Originally Posted by karlstaib

My suggestion would be to talk to the person you are with. Just let them know you are inexperienced and want to make sure that the experience is enjoyable. If you are with the right person they will understand.

I don't recommend that. That's too much pressure for your partner. You run the risk of making her self conscious or even scaring her off. It will make the first time a bigger deal than it should be, and trust me, when you're "doing the deed" for the first time, you want to be as relaxed as possible.

Just realize this one fact: Most dudes, even experienced, are bad at sex. Just say it's been a while and she won't know the difference. And have fun!

[dingybobstuart]

Originally Posted by schola

I don't recommend that. That's too much pressure for your partner. You run the risk of making her self conscious or even scaring her off. It will make the first time a bigger deal than it should be, and trust me, when you're "doing the deed" for the first time, you want to be as relaxed as possible.

Just realize this one fact: Most dudes, even experienced, are bad at sex. Just say it's been a while and she won't know the difference. And have fun!

Agreed.
Dont tell her its your first time, especially if you know she's a little more experienced... could make the whole thing a little embarrassing.
Just relax and dont think about the fact that you're doing it for the first time.
Dont get selfish, make sure your girl is satisfied before you are Avoid going for gold straight away, take your time and hav fun with it.