PUA Resources and Links

[Xanafax]

Greetings one and all!

This thread is dedicated to gathering resources and links for PUA, anything you want to offer yourself, negative and positive is welcome.

Please feel free to discuss and argue as you see fit.

I will try and sort through the links people post and put them on to this original post as they come up!

PUA Training

This is the first one, so lets go!

[supertom]

i would like one for "empowering beliefs"or mindset of PUA's

[Alexjstrandberg]

I wrote a review of PUA's here and here.

There is good information to help get better with women in small doses but you need to sift through the tons of garbage first. If you are inexperienced with women or unsatisfied it will be very difficult to discern the good from the bad. Most people who get into PUA stuff are desperate for change and just automatically adopt all of the beliefs. Most are less than healthy like "all women are biologically programmed to cheat" or that you can never ever show interest in the woman.

[supertom]

Originally Posted by Alexjstrandberg

I wrote a review of PUA's here and here.

There is good information to help get better with women in small doses but you need to sift through the tons of garbage first. If you are inexperienced with women or unsatisfied it will be very difficult to discern the good from the bad. Most people who get into PUA stuff are desperate for change and just automatically adopt all of the beliefs. Most are less than healthy like "all women are biologically programmed to cheat" or that you can never ever show interest in the woman.

so i can be a Conscious PUA

[Jasonv]

Inner Game Tapping

I found this website after I stopped studying pick up but I still found the videos and articles useful for regular social anxieties.

Welcome to TATLife - the home of Tapas Fleming and the Tapas Acupressure Technique

This isn't a pick up website but it teaches the very best technique I've ever found for getting over issues, limiting beliefs, and trauma's; all of which result in social problems.

Those are the two website I wish I found when I first started learning about dating.

[TonyToneTone]

I recently wrote up some stuff for my own site:
Relationships! | Tony Tells All

It's all free and you don't have to sign up for anything.

I hope that helps.

[Anand Dhillon]

I found a file on my computer that contains some old notes I have on pickup. They are about a year old so I probably won't agree with everything that is written here but there's still some value in them:

-there are no rules - only guidelines
-sometimes you can break each of them and still get the girl - avoid dogmatic thinking

-Being attractive isn't something you do, it's something you are
-2 Ways to get amazing women: become an amazing manipulator or become an amazing man
-you are naturally attractive - you have learned some limiting behavior and beliefs
-what you need is a shift in your sense of identity and to rewire how you carry yourself
-you need to strip away all the layers of social conditioning and get to that core, authentic, masculine self

-the basic assumption made by most unattactive men: the woman is on a pedastal - the man is lower value
-this assumption is the foundation from which men search for manipulative tactics to "trick" hot girls into liking them
-the truth: it's all in your head
-you are equal to the most attractive women you could possibly imagine - you need to understand that not only on a logical level but also an emotional level

IMPORTANT!!!
-most sticking points will correct themselves by continually going out
-go out a minimum of 3 nights a week until you have reached your desired level of skill

Common Misconceptions
-looks are irrelevant - good looking guys get girls b/c they think girls like good looking guys so they give themselves permission to behave confidently; you should still take care of yourself but do it for you - don't do it to get girls. If you are 1% more charismatic than someone better looking than you, you will get the girl
-money is a non-factor - in many cases, it can be a hindrance - goldiggers etc; like looks, money gives some guys the excuse to act with confidence; similarly, get money for yourself, not to get girls
-romance can be useful if the girl is intimidated by you and you need to convince her that you actually like her - for the most part, useless because it's associated with low-value chodes; when you get this part of your life handled, you can bring romance back if it is coming from a place of authentic self-expression and not neediness
-friendship first - associated with chodes who are unwilling to own their real desire - don't try to "fly in under the radar"
-women have autopilt responses and if you use the same approach that all the needy guys use. she will probably reject it even if she would like you - (imagine what it would be like to be an attractive woman who has been hit on 50 times a day since she was 18)

Attraction
-is an emotional response, not a logical one
-based on 2 things: behavorial cues (subcommunication) and how other people react to you (social status)
-cues in behavior: Eye contact, Vocal tonality, Body language, Sense of individuality, boundaries, indifference to outcome, Confidence to say what you want and stand out, decisiveness, humour and playfulness, comfort in your environment, indifference to what people think of you, your self-directedness, conviction and grasp of your own standards, your sense of entitlement and willingness to go after what you want, the emotion with which you say things, having a sense of internal value that is not predicated on the acceptance of others, being outside your head
-her emotional response to behavioural cues are far more important than her logical preferences
-initial approach: the words you say hardly ever register - the more attracted she is becoming, the less the words matter
-express your real personality authentically and amuse yourself
-focus on building a connection, not sharing information - feelings not facts

Tactics/Techniques
-2 uses: avoiding autopilot responses and handling logistics (she's there with friends who will judge her if she goes home with you, she's only in town for a night, she's wearing headphones etc)
-learn them as the situation come up and you have a need for them (available on the internet - do your research)

Belief Systems
-your behavior is an expression of your belief system - shift your beliefs and your behavior will shift
-ask yourself: will this belief increase my chances or decrease them?
-some beliefs to cultivate:
-what I have to say is valuable simply because it is coming from me - my unique perspective is inherently valuable
-she is interested in what I have to say because she is interested in what I find interesting
-girls like me for me (not because you have money, a cool car etc.)
-sex is no big deal - it's just a way to cement a connection
-I am genuinely interested in other people
-Socializing is fun and an end in itself
-Everyone is already my friend
-I see the best in people and people see the best in me
-Everything in the world is funny

Deserving and Permission
-your unconscious mind already knows what to do for you to have an abundance of amazing women in your life
-but it doesn't think it's okay for you to be that attractive version of yourself
-the two biggest blocks you face are a sense that you don't deserve to have a high level of success with women and that you don't permission to take on this new identity
-both are just stories/rationalizations you are telling yourself
-this is why it is important to study personal development - you must eliminate these internal barriers to success
-read: Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins

Fear of Rejection & Caring What Other People Think of You
-by continuing to go out, you will endure sufficient rejection that you will no longer fear it
-the key is to barrel through the initial phase where you are scared - use progressive desensitization if you have to
-your new religion must be to no longer care what other people think of you
-accept that if you are going to live life on your own terms, you are going to be subject to criticism and judgment - it's a small price to pay

Presence
-read: The Power of Now & A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
-get out of your head, get into your body
-when she is talking, soak in what she's saying with your entire body as opposed to thinking of what you are going to say next
-being present if often enough to take care of the attraction phase for you

Masculine polarity
-the essence of masculine polarity is drawing your emotional state from within
-the good feelings in your body should be self-generated
-whatever you feel, she will feel - the good feeling in your body will be contagious
-do the inner body meditation described in Tolle's books with eyes open
-also study Anthony Robbins' techniques for state control

Self-Esteem
-most guys in the seduction community are coming from a sense of lack - they don't feel good about themselves
-they think getting hot girls will fill that hole in their sense of self - it won't
-the irony: most guys don't really want to have sex with hot girls - they want the validation that they associate with it
-you must be coming from a place where you are are complete on your own
-while building your skills with women, you must simultaneously build a fulfilling life of your own design - get healthy and fit, find a life purpose that compels you, build strong friendships with other men
-you want to be approaching with a sense that your life is overflowing with value so that the girl's reaction makes no difference to you- this is the only cure for neediness
-more irony: a lot of guys are self-actualizing for the wrong reasons (to get girls) but it works out in the end

Bars & Clubs
-why go to clubs? - lots of girls in a small area allows you do a lot of approaches in a short period of time
-after a rejection, you can be talking to another girl in less than 5 seconds instead of getting stuck in your head
-mentally review your approaches at the end of the night and write down the lessons you learned
-once you get a base level of skill, you can add day game

Attitudes Towards Women
-a lot of puas harbor a lot of anger/hurt/resentment based on past experiences with women
-you must clear up all your emotional baggage related to women - ex-gfs. girls you had crushes on, girls who rejected you, female friends, sisters and especially your mom
-don't stop until you have nothing but love for women
-any negativity you harbor will manifest in your behavior and prevent you from attaining lasting success in this area

Abundance Mentality
-there are more girls that are exactly what you are looking for than you could ever possibly meet
-never get caught up in the idea that you MUST have a particular girl

Premature Ejection
-there are only 3 acceptable outcomes to an approach: you close the girl, you screen her out, she rejects you
-don't leave just because it's awkward, uncomfortable or not "going well" - stay in there and make her reject you (you must consistently push your comfort zone)

Physical Escalation
-start from the very beginning - it is extremely weird to make a move on a girl when you haven't even touched her
-turn up slowly - like a volume knob
-usually need create a pretense for going back to your/her place - watch a video, listen to music etc. - to avoid her autopilot response (she doesn't want to be seen as a "slut")
-key words: "it just happened"

[Anand Dhillon]

Phone Game
-call when you feel like it - next day is often best if you are getting a lot of numbers every week
-call several girls in a row when you are in a talkative mood
-use texting to keep numbers from staling out
-problems on the phone usually indicate problems in the initial interaction

Day2s
-do what you enjoy
-if she's out on a date with you, relax, she already likes you
-experiment with different dates and notice which ones are the most fun and lead the most consistent close rate

Sex
-most guys carry an insane amount of guilt about sex - they've been conditioned that sex is taking value from a woman
-women enjoy sex at least as much as men, probably even more
-learn to view sex as a mutual sharing of value
-you must come into alignment with your sexual desire and completely own it
-you must drop all judgements you have about women's sexuality - no madonna/whore complex, no thinking a woman who has a slept with a lot of men is a "slut" - to feel comfortable having sex with you, she must feel a sense of nonjudgment
-drop the idea that sex is a big deal - simply see it as a way to cement a connection with a woman
-while single, never leave the house without a condom


Relationships
-date a lot of women so that you can get clear about you like and don't like based on experiences and not unverified assumptions
-you don't really know someone until you've dated for a while - don't jump into an exclusive relationship until you can make a conscious choice based on compatible values, interests, sexual chemistry etc.
-that feeling of love should be with you at all times - you should have a feeling of love towards the entire world; you can then choose to direct that love at a deeper level towards your girlfriend/wife
-don't worry about her cheating - if it happens, it happens and you'll deal with it. Thinking about it will cause you undue stress and make you treat her in ways that will increase the likelihood of her cheating
-the couple that grows together stays together
-"forever" is a hypnotizing word - you can't predict the future. Take it one day at a time
-read: The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida
-2 keys: both partners emotionally healthy with high self-esteem and compatible values

Congruence Tests
-she is looking for weak spots in your character and where you lack integrity - wants to make sure she can trust you
-frame it in your mind as a cute game between the two of you
-respond with humor

Change her mood, not her mind
-when getting a negative response to a request, escalation etc., drop it
-shift her emotional state with humor, teasing etc.
-reinitiate


-Remember: these are only guidelines. There are no rules. Always think for yourself.

*NOTE* I cut out all the out all the "outer game" stuff because I think it's needlessly complicated
I suggest reading Real Social Dynamics Blog: Outer Game Extravaganza instead.

[TonyToneTone]

I am going to go through your entire post later as a lot of it looks good, thanks.

[Scorpio]

www.datinggroundwork . com

Basic stuff for inexperienced guys, and some good criticism of the seduction community. All free.