New Years dilemma

[LordSappington]

I have been invited to a New Years party this year, but I'm not sure if I should go. Here's the background, with the names changed as always

I befriended this girl, Laura, a while back. I met Laura's friend Rebecca through the course of hanging out with Laura. I ended up being invited to Rebecca's New Years Eve party, and I was very excited because it was the first time that I had ever been invited to one of those. I showed up, and it was Laura and Rebecca and all their friends. They're all classical musicians, and they knew each other, and they were talking about music, so I was not only clueless as to the history of their group, but also, I don't know too much about music. I thought I managed well though.

Anyhow, a few weeks later, Rebecca was throwing another party and she sent out invitations for it on Facebook. In my Facebook feed, it said "Laura is attending Rebecca's party." I went to go look at the RSVP list for the party, and it was all the people from New Years. Except I was never invited.

So I asked her straight up why, and she replied, "You didn't seem to have much fun at the last one." I wasn't sure how to take that, but I interpreted it as, "I think you're a downer. Stay away." I was reasonably offended.

So I pretty much stopped talking to the girl. It's not like we talked very much anyhow, but I wasn't going to make an effort to stay in contact with her, and she never made any effort in staying in contact with me. About a year later, I was hanging out with Laura and (unbeknown to me) Rebecca was invited too. She walks up to me and says in a very cheery voice, "How the hell are you?" It was as if she had never snubbed me before. We talked for a bit, and that was the last time I heard from her.

Anyhow, now I'm invited to her party again on New Years. I have no other plans. It's either her party, sit at home alone, or go out by myself to try to find something. I sort of want to go because those people were sort of fun. But I don't want to go because I don't feel welcome. What should I do?

[MonkeyFace]

Do you want to go? Yes.

Are you invited? Yes.

So go. Show them just how much fun you can be.

[{aspiring_to_clarity}]

It doesn't seem to me like she snubbed you. You said yourself that her response to the question of why you weren't invited was that you didn't seem to have fun the first time they had you over. Looking at it from where I am, it seems your interpretation of the situation ("I think you're a downer. Stay away.") is way off!

How about this time, even if you can't talk with them about music, you just go with the intent to have fun. Maybe think up some interesting topics to throw into the conversation. You said they're fun. So, go and don't worry so much!

[angies]

I think you are just being too sensitive. Go and have fun.

[danas]

Of course go. get the ego out of the way

[jendoe]

Go and have fun.

A few more thoughts though.

- It sounds like you felt a bit out-of-place the first time, since you don't know much about classical music? I actually LOVE situations like these! They're super-easy to deal with. I tend to just say something along the lines of, "wow - that sounds so interesting! I've never really had a chance to learn much about classical music - tell me more!" and people, who presumably enjoy this hobby/career, are generally happy to oblige. It gives you a way to interact with people and gives them a chance to talk about what they love.

- About her acting cheery when she saw you again... even if she DID intentionally snub you (which may not be the case) - what could she do? This is an awkward situation... she can't really frown and say, "oh gosh, I was hoping you weren't going to be here" I think the polite thing to do is to act pseudo-friendly.

Just some random thoughts, hope you have a good time this year if you decide to go!

[Pegasus]

While we're on the topic of New Year's and Facebook...

Hey, I hope I’m not taking this thread too far off-topic. I’m new to FB --
how do FB invitations work? I read a Friend’s status update saying that he’s looking forward to his New year's eve party (Event). So I view his page and find where he posted the event which I then view. The Event is a closed one, but it has a link for Request invitation. Also says that people can bring guests. So does that mean any of his FB friends can request an invitation? In other words, am I indirectly invited? Or should I not assume that I am invited? Haven't seen him in person for a couple years.