Seeking advice from the divorced

[tstesen]

I'm going to be receiving divorce papers any day now and I have a few questions that I'm hoping someone who has been through a divorce can answer for me.

To make a long story short I was married in Feb of 2002 and in May of 2004 I left my husband. We have one child together. In 2005 we were still on okay terms and I filed for divorce in FL where I was living and had lived throughout our marriage. At that time I believe he was in IL. He took our break up very hard and moved away.

To make things easier on both of us I filed an uncontested divorce under the pretense that we were both agreeing to sign the paperwork. Needless to say I served him with the paperwork and he refused to sign. The divorce stalled and due to financial reasons I didn't pursue it.

In 2006 I moved to Colorado. Things went downhill with my ex and he was arrested 6 times in one year. He didn't pay a dime of child support all these years and hasn't spoken to his son in years. Honestly I never thought I would hear from him again.

I've been in a new wonderful relationship since the later part of 2004 and thankfully am doing much better financially now despite no help from my ex and was planning on filing for divorce again in early 2009. Since I didn't know where my ex was - he's been hiding, moving from state to state to state in an effort to avoid court ordered child support - I was planning on filing the type of divorce where you publish the notice in the paper for several weeks.

Low and behold about three weeks ago I get a call from my ex. He has finally realized what a dope he is and how much trouble he is in not only with the child support agency but the IRS as well. (He hasn't been paying taxes in years, I got a nice letter from the IRS about that.)

Well I got my first child support check in the mail a few days ago. Yippee! I almost had a heart attack LOL. I never thought I'd see the day. And if my little heart wasn't happy enough he told me via phone that he'd filed for divorce.

Honestly I didn't know if I believed him but alas I looked up the records online with the MD (he's in Baltimore now) court house and there is a pending divorce case filed by him against me. The case was filed on the 9th of this month so in theory I should be receiving my papers any day now. It's a Christmas miracle.

So as someone that's never been on the receiving end of a divorce is there anything I should watch out for? I'd rather not have to hire a lawyer as he filed an uncontested divorce and there is nothing for us to fight over.

We have an existing court order for child support that is completely separate from this filing and I have full custody of our child. We do not have any joint property to divide as we split everything back when we separated in 2004. Of course I plan to read the papers very carefully before signing to make sure he isn't pulling a fast one on me.

How do I proceed when the papers arrive? Do I simply sign them and send them back or will I be required to provide documents and financial statements? I asked my ex this question on the phone and he said no but I remember when I filed for divorce in FL I had to provide a financial affidavit.

Also is there anything special that I need to do since I'm out of state? Can I just mail the papers back to my ex or the courts because I'm out of state? I'm in Colorado, he's in Maryland. I did some research online including on the MD court system web site and really couldn't find to much information other than the forms needed to file the actual divorce. That's already done so I don't need those.

Thanks for any input you can provide. I know I have a lot of questions. I'm super excited to finally be getting a divorce so I can really put the past behind me and move on. And I'm more excited for my son that his father is back in the picture. I couldn't have asked for a better Christmas gift.

[funchy]

If it were me, I'd consult with a lawyer even if you don't have the lawyer do all the divorce paperwork.

There are too many ways for you to get screwed. He can be out running up debts, and they can be put on your shoulders until you're divorced. You have back child support to deal with as well as the possibility he'll be a @#$@# and try to contest custody all of a sudden. Cover your butt!

Question for lawyer: if you agree to the divorce filed in Maryland, will you be bound by Maryland's way of doing things, even if it would've been better for you to have it processed in your own state? If things get messy, can you afford to fly out to attend a hearing?

Do NOT trust the ex to give you good information. He may intentionally mislead you or he may simply not know. His lawyer is also not the best person to be advising you; this is a conflict of interest for him.

Some info to get you started:
Maryland Divorce Laws - Maryland State Divorce Laws
Divorce in Maryland

[tstesen]

Thanks for your advice. I just got served with the papers about 10 minutes ago so I'm looking them over now to see if there is any cause to have these looked at by a lawyer.

Doing the happy I'm getting divorced dance.

[lifetimelearner]

in some states you can get free legal advice

I would either do that or make sure you read the paperwork thoroughly and understand it -esp the custody, child support and medical and dental part for your child

[tstesen]

Originally Posted by lifetimelearner

in some states you can get free legal advice

I would either do that or make sure you read the paperwork thoroughly and understand it -esp the custody, child support and medical and dental part for your child

Thanks limetimelearner. Thankfully child support and medical coverage are not part of the divorce proceedings as I had those taken care of several years ago. There is already an existing court order in effect against my ex stating that he must pay child support as well as provide health coverage for our child.