Developing a better relationship with my Dad

[whim]

SO many times I've felt guilty that I dont really care about my dad or SHOW that I care about my dad. I don't really respect him because the flaws he has I have also, and in a way I blame him for giving me these flaws that I have to work so hard to improve on. I just wish I could look up to him and be proud of him in the way I want him to be. (perhaps it's a matter of reminding myself of his positives) But it's hard because he's so SLOW when I talk to him and I have to repeat everything I say twice, and he's so unknoweldgeable about things in life and I can't ask him things and learn things from him. He's just a lazy thinker like I am naturally, which I'm trying to work on. Anyways, he was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago, but had successful treatment and is going through chemo right now as a routine measure, but there is a low chance is cancer will come back. Because of this fact, I don't feel I need to really be concerned about it, and in a way I dont really show a whole lot that I care what he's going through. I do love him when it really comes down to it, and I feel that would only show when he's REALLY dying and when its probably too late and then I'd live with the guilt of not ever treating him the way I want to treat him. So my question is how do I move past the daily frustration with talking to him, and really treat him like I should treat my dad, so that when he really is gone I won't be burdened with guilt for never being there as a SON for him.

Thanks

[Lauxa]

How do you think you should treat your dad?

And then...

How would you like to treat your dad?

(because shoulds don't work so well after all)

The opposite of guilt is gratitude. Whenever you feel guilty, try to turn it around to gratitude. You can be grateful that your dad is still around and you have time to make amends, grateful for that one time you really did something loving for your dad, grateful for that one good piece of advice your dad gave you.

You also say you don't respect your dad. Do you respect yourself? If other people are mirrors, maybe it's time to look inside.

[legend]

whim, you are a very lucky person to still have a dad present in your life....
It amazes me how we each are put into the perfect environment for our own personel growth...

Every gift..... Every strength.... Every biy of growth you have you were given to stand up for your father ( I prefer father to dad)

It was not easy for him when you were just a baby.....
I'm sure he had thoughts of why is whim so slow... why won't he listen.... why is he so unknowledgable

Yet he stuck with you.... He LOVED you.... He taught you

Do the same for him now...
you were once the student now you are the master

LOve how he helped and is helping you grow

Much Love