What do women find REALLY unattractive in men?

[funchy]

Originally Posted by ArtVandelay

So you're telling me there are ZERO deal-breaker physical aspects for you? I find that very difficult to believe.

Maybe it's because I'm older? I don't know. <shrug> Some of the best people I've met don't look like models. I have the outlook that the human form is beautiful, flaws and all. Why shouldn't all people be beautiful? The human body is a complex, beautiful, amazing thing.

I know that the hottest guy in the world won't excite me if he's always disrespectful and condescending. What good is a pretty face if I just want to smack it?

I am just so sick of Hollywood telling me that I must date someone hollywood-hot or else I am no good. I'm tired of Hollywood also telling me that a person can't have a single physical flaw. Even the supermodels get their pics airbrushed and photoshopped before the photo is printed.

[SenoritaBonita]

Originally Posted by funchy

Maybe it's because I'm older? I don't know. <shrug> Some of the best people I've met don't look like models. I have the outlook that the human form is beautiful, flaws and all. Why shouldn't all people be beautiful? The human body is a complex, beautiful, amazing thing.

I know that the hottest guy in the world won't excite me if he's always disrespectful and condescending. What good is a pretty face if I just want to smack it?

I am just so sick of Hollywood telling me that I must date someone hollywood-hot or else I am no good. I'm tired of Hollywood also telling me that a person can't have a single physical flaw. Even the supermodels get their pics airbrushed and photoshopped before the photo is printed.

Sometimes I feel that way too - maybe it's because i am older i don't care about superficial things? hair can be waxed, beard shaven off....so many things...again, how a man is treating is so much more important that what label he wears or how much his pays for his facials.

[carenkh]

I don't think anyone is saying a guy has to be Hollywood-perfect; the OP was asking what, specifically you find unattractive. I find "pretty boys" unattractive, I like my men to look like men. (and my women to look like women, hee-hee)

I think personality is much more important, also, but if a person isn't attractive to me physically, I'm not gonna want to spend hours staring at them, y'know?

hair can be waxed, beard shaven off

So you DO find excess hair and beards unattractive? If they didn't want to depilate, would you stay with them?

It's funny - I can't at this time think of a physical "deal-breaker", but I'm pretty sure I have some... I'm 43, fairly mature, NOT shallow - but I can't pretend like I'd be blind to something I found really yucky.

[funchy]

Originally Posted by carenkh

I don't think anyone is saying a guy has to be Hollywood-perfect; the OP was asking what, specifically you find unattractive. I find "pretty boys" unattractive, I like my men to look like men.

Ok: physical turn off in a guy- a vagina.

Unless we're talking hermaphrodite... I'll try anything once.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by funchy

Ok: physical turn off in a guy- a vagina.

Unless we're talking hermaphrodite... I'll try anything once.

\

I'm just curious,i just wanna know if i understand this right...so you will date ANY guy as long as he has good hygiene habits and treats people good and doesn't have a vagina? LOL Doesn't that pretty much describe 99% of men? How do you just stay friends with men then,if you find them all attractive? I mean what would differentiate a man you wanted to get into a physical relationship with and one that you just want to be friends with (providing that they are single)?

[Lauxa]

I don't like guys who are too cocky. I can usually tell they are cocky before I even get to know them by the way they are all muscled up and dressed in their pretty boy clothes and strutting around like peacocks. So these things are turn-offs to me initially, but I am open to being surprised.

[jaamkie]

Originally Posted by The NorthStar of Hope

What if I told you. I know someone "could be me" but let's not mention his identity.
Who has ALL the turn-ons you mentioned. & doesn't have ALL the turn-offs. However, he's a wheelchair user "yet quite the handsome fella"...

Would girls go out with him?...

absolutely yes- I ride the train to work, have exchanged smiles with two guys in wheelchairs who I found particularly attractive, if I were single I'd probably have given them my number. One was reading a book I thought looked interesting, on his way home from work; the other seemed to be with his sister out sightseeing. Both were attractive cos they seemed to be enjoying life, with an alert twinkle in their eyes.

[jaamkie]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

\

I'm just curious,i just wanna know if i understand this right...so you will date ANY guy as long as he has good hygiene habits and treats people good and doesn't have a vagina? LOL Doesn't that pretty much describe 99% of men? How do you just stay friends with men then,if you find them all attractive? I mean what would differentiate a man you wanted to get into a physical relationship with and one that you just want to be friends with (providing that they are single)?

Just wanted to agree with the girl who said she had no physical deal breakers. I've never seen a guy I wouldn't date based on appearance (except ones wearing fur coats, because ick!!!). The difference between guy-friends and boyfriends for me is mental/personality. Actually my standards are pretty simple, though maybe a bit high- I want a guy at least intelligent enough to belong to mensa, and who puts his energy into living an ethical caring life, not into comparing/competing with others.

[shalom]

In a previous thread, I asked people their opinion of older women /younger men combos. People here are so responsive - the replies were so varied and left me with lots of food for thought. You guys are great

One of the reasons I am drawn to younger men is that those I have encountered within my peer group ( 40-50 ish) are sooo disappointing. Some were grouchy, seemingly unable to laugh, be even just a little bit playful. Worst of all, two I met lay snoring on the sofa as soon as the clock struck 9pm. I KNOW I couldn't have been that boring...

Also, these mature fellows would happily describe themselves as energetic and vital. Go figure.

Anyway, pleased to report that my advances to the younger men were readily accepted and not once did he collapse snoring on the sofa mid-evening..

[Rose of Cairo]

Hmmm... I've never thought much about what I find physically UNattractive in a guy, so this thread is challenging.

Spontaneously, what I can come up with is: I find it REALLY unattractive when a guy shaves his armpits or pubes or any other body part below his neck. I love body hair (on men, not on myself). A guy naked as a worm is totally not attractive to me.

What's also unattractive to me is when a guy is very skinny with no muscle. (That's better this way, I'd injure him if passionately pushing him against a wall anyway)

Oh, and what turns me off too are those "standard pretty face" guys, like most Hollywood stars are. Especially those with small noses.

Hmmm.. I can't think of anything else for now.

I forgot clothing. Baggy pants that hang down the butt and hide its form look unsexy to me. As do pants that are tight on the ankles and stop above the shoes. I'm also turned off by those hideous sleeveless white things some guys wear underneath their shirt (you rip their shirt off and suddenly get confronted with THIS, ugh! ). Some kinds of underpants are totally not sexy too, but it's a bit complicated to explain with words. And I don't like guys with lots of stuff in their pockets either. Makes them look like they have totally wide hips. Hehe, how shallow I am

[funchy]

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

I'm just curious,i just wanna know if i understand this right...so you will date ANY guy as long as he has good hygiene habits and treats people good and doesn't have a vagina? LOL Doesn't that pretty much describe 99% of men?

I don't mean to come off as sounding judgmental, but not all men are the kind of people I want to spent time with. Not all are trustworthy. Not all are considerate, kind, and loving. Not all are respectful of women. Not all are heterosexual. Not all can see further than their own nose.

(side note: same could be said of women, but I'm focusing on men because that's the topic)

How do you just stay friends with men then,if you find them all attractive? I mean what would differentiate a man you wanted to get into a physical relationship with and one that you just want to be friends with (providing that they are single)?

I can't be in a relationship with all of them at once. I tend to stick to one person at a time. Therefore, the rest are just friends, assuming we have things in common to support a friendship.

Just because I find someone cute doesn't mean I have to act. It doesn't mean lustful feelings need to cloud my judgment. I have some really cute male friends, and it's no different than hanging out with some really hot female friends. Sexy is sexy.

[angies]

I must admit that looks is important in a way. You must first have some chemistry with a person before anything can happen. What create this chemistry is different for different people. We are all different, thank goodness, else we would all be in love with the same person To me a guy don't have to be pretty just pleasant looking, well groom, good hygiene and healthy weight.

I find overweight people unattractive. arrogant, cocky guys don't do much for me either. Baggy clothes and low waisted pants showing underwear shows immaturity. People with lots of hair on face and body. Needy clingy sleazy guys are big turn-off... The list is endless.. hey this is just me...

[SenoritaBonita]

Originally Posted by carenkh

I don't think anyone is saying a guy has to be Hollywood-perfect; the OP was asking what, specifically you find unattractive. I find "pretty boys" unattractive, I like my men to look like men. (and my women to look like women, hee-hee)

I think personality is much more important, also, but if a person isn't attractive to me physically, I'm not gonna want to spend hours staring at them, y'know?

So you DO find excess hair and beards unattractive? If they didn't want to depilate, would you stay with them?

It's funny - I can't at this time think of a physical "deal-breaker", but I'm pretty sure I have some... I'm 43, fairly mature, NOT shallow - but I can't pretend like I'd be blind to something I found really yucky.

Nah, I don't have a problem with that. Shaving and waxing was response to the post. Besides, I don't mind chest or back hair either. Pretty boys are not my type.

[justforaday]

i find unattractive:

-being rude
-smelling bad
-disrespecting people:abuse,violence,showing how powerful you are etc.
-writing uncorrectly, many grammar mistakes, it shows how stupid he is, i like smart guys because i think i´m a little smart.

[Scipio]

Originally Posted by SenoritaBonita

I am very light, but what the title means is that there is more stuff beyond the looks. It's not about being defensive, but about being less superficial.

You should just stop posting in this thread because you're making people think you're an idiot, which I'm sure you're not.

Do you post in threads titled "How Do I Earn More Money?" saying "There's more to life than money"? Do you start lecturing people on the morality of earning money, and tell them to be less "money-focused" in a thread about money? No. Quit being ridiculous.

[Scipio]

Originally Posted by justforaday

i find unattractive:

-being rude
-smelling bad
-disrespecting people:abuse,violence,showing how powerful you are etc.
-writing uncorrectly, many grammar mistakes, it shows how stupid he is, i like smart guys because i think i´m a little smart.

Is this supposed to be ironic? I like your run on sentences joined together with commas, lack of spacing between words (wtf?), improper capitalization, and other punctuation mistakes. However, the best part is your use of the made-up word "uncorrectly."

[jacki]

the thing i hate most about men is when they want to jump right in to sex conversation.
i hate guys that call me baby honey woman chicka sweety; these are pet name and a guy has to earn the right to call me these names.
i dislke guys that depend on a woman to be able to do anything.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Rose of Cairo

Hmmm... I've never thought much about what I find physically UNattractive in a guy, so this thread is challenging.

Spontaneously, what I can come up with is: I find it REALLY unattractive when a guy shaves his armpits or pubes or any other body part below his neck. I love body hair (on men, not on myself). A guy naked as a worm is totally not attractive to me.

What's also unattractive to me is when a guy is very skinny with no muscle. (That's better this way, I'd injure him if passionately pushing him against a wall anyway)

Oh, and what turns me off too are those "standard pretty face" guys, like most Hollywood stars are. Especially those with small noses.

Hmmm.. I can't think of anything else for now.

I forgot clothing. Baggy pants that hang down the butt and hide its form look unsexy to me. As do pants that are tight on the ankles and stop above the shoes. I'm also turned off by those hideous sleeveless white things some guys wear underneath their shirt (you rip their shirt off and suddenly get confronted with THIS, ugh! ). Some kinds of underpants are totally not sexy too, but it's a bit complicated to explain with words. And I don't like guys with lots of stuff in their pockets either. Makes them look like they have totally wide hips. Hehe, how shallow I am

LMAO!! I know you didnt mean for this to be funny but i am laughing out loud here! Read your first sentence as if someone else had said it,and then count how many things you find unattractive! 8 things! Thats more than i even could think of and i thought i was picky LOL wow. I am not trying to be mean,i'm just saying its funny how you couldn't think of anything and then "spontaneously" you came up with 8 things,imagine if you actually thought hard about this!

I dont know what those white shirts are that you are talking about,i'm curious now

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by funchy

IJust because I find someone cute doesn't mean I have to act. It doesn't mean lustful feelings need to cloud my judgment. I have some really cute male friends, and it's no different than hanging out with some really hot female friends. Sexy is sexy.

I wish i could be that way. But anyone who i find attractive,i start to like them. Well some guys arent unattractive but they arent my type,but if i meet a guy who is my type and attractive,i can't help but like him. I guess i shouldn't ever get married or i'll have lustful feelings about any hot guy i meet!

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by jacki

the thing i hate most about men is when they want to jump right in to sex conversation.
i hate guys that call me baby honey woman chicka sweety; these are pet name and a guy has to earn the right to call me these names.

I second that!! MEN you need to seriously not do this cuz this is a big one! That's the reason why i think most guys are only after sex because most of them have to jump into the sex conversation so quickly,and call women those names when they dont even know them,nor do they even know if the woman even likes the guy! I've had guys on the internet call me "sexy" and "babe" without even seeing pictures of me! Desperateness is the biggest turn off,personality-wise.

[Mewwy]

I guess the act of trying way too hard to pursue a woman is unattractive. It's equivalent to when a woman clings on a man too much.

And men who get angry or upset too easily when the woman doesn't do things his way (such as agreeing to go out with him) are easily seen as immature. Deal breaker.

[fitx3]

Skinny men with no muscle tone. Drink some protein powder and hit the gym....would ya?

Bad teeth and oral hygiene.

Slouches. Straighten up Quasi!

Cheap guys. Buy a girl a damn drink already!

[Elrond]

Originally Posted by fitx3

Cheap guys. Buy a girl a damn drink already!

Only after you've done my laundry and made me dinner.

[driven1]

This thread is a little weird because, in general, men are mostly attracted (on a lizard-brain, gut-level, I-GOTTA-HAVE-YOU level) to a woman's appearance, but women are mostly attracted to a man's behavior.

Seriously, if a guy has lots of confidence in himself, a great circle of friends, and is a leader among those friends, it doesn't matter what he looks like or whether he has money. All her little pet peeves about body hair, bad teeth, thin hair, or wearing socks during sex (ha HA!) will silently melt away.

With that in mind, behavior that will drive women away by demonstrating low self-esteem:
- arrogance -- bragging on oneself (even if it's 100% true!); show them, don't tell them
- meanness -- hacking other people down so you can feel better about yourself
- defensiveness -- if somebody busts on you, laugh *with* them if it's funny; if it's NOT funny, come up with something even better
- nervousness -- what are you hiding? what's deep inside that you aren't showing??
- dishonesty -- you aren't confident enough in yourself to truthfully represent
- attention/validation-seeking behavior, neediness -- if you need her approval to feel good about yourself, you must not be very high value

Hard, hard demons to exorcise. We're so used to having our respective guards up, defending our egos -- the irony is that it only makes us look insecure. Just.... stop. And that'll prove BY YOUR ACTIONS that you're one helluva guy that has so much self-esteem he can afford to give it away.

I think women mostly want to see that the person on the inside matches the person on the outside, so they're safe to get emotionally attached.

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by driven1

This thread is a little weird because, in general, men are mostly attracted (on a lizard-brain, gut-level, I-GOTTA-HAVE-YOU level) to a woman's appearance, but women are mostly attracted to a man's behavior.

Seriously, if a guy has lots of confidence in himself, a great circle of friends, and is a leader among those friends, it doesn't matter what he looks like or whether he has money.

We already had this topic several times here, but I keep repeating: I don't agree, and I'm a woman. If a guy has lots of confidence in himself, a great circle of friends, and is a leader among those friends (and I could add other great things like he shares my values and lives his life purpose and has a great personality and and and)... AND I'm not attracted to him sexually, I mean on a physical level that doesn't depend on his behavior, then there's just no way I'd want him as my lover. Period.

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

its funny how you couldn't think of anything and then "spontaneously" you came up with 8 things,imagine if you actually thought hard about this!

hehehehe... See how creative I am! That's raw food brain power

I dont know what those white shirts are that you are talking about,i'm curious now

Here, this: VETEMENT HOMME - Débardeur blanc

[Plato]

How representative are the women on this forum of women in general?

Rose of Cairo: I just noticed one of your posts so I'm commenting on that as an example of the difficulties here. You are disputing claims about what women in general tend to be attracted to with anecdotal evidence about what you personally like. You are a very unique and wonderful person, and I'm sure we're all interested in how to sweep you off your feet, but you are not every woman.

Also, how seriously can we take claims such as "guys who call me honey are unattractive"? In cases like this it's more how you say it, not what you say so it's basically pointless to think about.

[kpreston]

Meh, on the pet name thing...

I generally just wait until the women says it to me. If we go on a few dates, and I get a text message with "sweety" in it. All deals are off.

[Plato]

Originally Posted by fitx3

Skinny men with no muscle tone. Drink some protein powder and hit the gym....would ya?

Cheap guys. Buy a girl a damn drink already!

I think I'd rather jerk off.

[kpreston]

Cheap guys. Buy a girl a damn drink already!

Cheap girls. Nothing is sexier than a girl willing to split the check (and really mean it).

[driven1]

Rose of Cairo: ... You are disputing claims about what women in general tend to be attracted to with anecdotal evidence about what you personally like. You are a very unique and wonderful person, and I'm sure we're all interested in how to sweep you off your feet, but you are not every woman.

Great point -- we can both be right. Just as most men may indeed prefer big boobs, I just... don't. Never have. Still, if you're gonna play the odds...

FWIW, I've seen the "leader of friends" thing first-hand and it is rock-me-back-in-my-chair astoundingly successful. And it deserves to be -- if you're providing a lot of social value (social/professional networking, emotional support, event coordination, etc.) for a lot a friends, that's a pretty cool thing! I think the reason it "works" is that the woman gets lots and lots of subcommunicated reinforcement from the friends that this is indeed a pretty good guy.

I think I've said this before, but I really think being attracted to behavior/personality is more admirable than being attracted to appearance, and yet... that's just how I'm wired.