what do men find really UNATTRACTIVE in women?

[dice]

I understand that stuff like facial hair and body odours, generally unhealthy people would be unattractive, but GENDER SPECIFIC: what's not cool?

I think it'd be really helpful if you could just describe someone you know personally who is really unattractive.

On that note: What do you dudes think of keira knightley's body? I'm very curious. (Personally I think shes a little sinewy)

[Alexi]

1. Short hair (a few girls pull it off well though).
2. Being overly friendly with other men you don't know well
3. Consistently sleasy clothing
4. Some girls have very light mustaches (peach fuzz) and either don't realize it or just don't think it's a big deal. Most men probably aren't a fan of this.
5. Being stuck up b/c they're hot and they know it.


Hope this helps a bit!

[TropicThink]

Not being proud of and loving the fact that she is a woman. Women who want to be men are about as attractive to men as men who want to be women are to women. That seems fairly obvious, but still...

[missing]

One thing I really despise on women are tattoos, especially big ones. Something small, or feminine on the ankle or some other out of the way place (like a blue dolphin or a flower), that I don't mind. But these big, black, abstract "ass antlers" you find on the lower back; "tramp stamp". Ugh. A woman's lower back is so attractive to me and it makes me sad to see how many defile them. It also speaks of her values and what she thinks of her body. How does she think that thing is going to look when she's 65? The worst is when they claim it's "spiritual", when IMO it's just in poor taste. I also don't like when they have tons of piercings, or excessive use of make up, and in general anything too artificial. Naturally occurring stuff generally doesn't bother me, ie, a little hair here and there (so long it's not on the face, armpits are ok).

Knightly is way too thin. Srsly. She looks like an alien.

[Trezker]

Dresses, skirts and stuff with frills etc... I think it's ugly.
I also hate high heels.
I prefer girls in jeans and practical shoes.

I agree that Keira is too thin.

[garentee]

I like women who are genuine and do not play games.. games are really un attractive. Just tell the truth.

[JimOfferman]

Originally Posted by dice

I think it'd be really helpful if you could just describe someone you know personally who is really unattractive.

Sorry, can't help you there... I don't personally know any really unattractive people.

[openeyes]

negative expressions toward men as a gender

[MonkeyFace]

Originally Posted by openeyes

negative expressions toward men as a gender

Definitely... also, I'm really not a fan of mini skirts that are so short they are't actually counted as skirts.. it's just ugly (above knee-length is cool, but there is definitely a limit. And I sound like my grandfather here...)

[driven1]

Unattractive, in decreasing order of importance (many of these are personal preference):
- meanness, esp to children or animals -- I saw a stripper friend just laying into her 4yo son over NOTHING, and she instantly went from a "9" to a "4" in my eyes. I, myself, enjoy verbally sparring with a girl, though, if it's done in a fun way.
- hard drug abuse = go away now. I'm okay with weed or alcohol, but too much of that is a turn-off too.
- an unpretty face -- dunno how to make this objective, but physically a pretty face is the most important to me
- overweight -- I can't feel attraction for a girl that's, say, 20-30lbs overweight. I wish I could, as that's very common, but I can't.
- overly slovenly dress -- I'm no fashion snob; some girls can pull off sweatpants + t-shirt really well. But I saw what COULD have been a cute girl wearing dirty pink sweats, a holey t-shirt, and *hot pink crocs* (!!) at a coffee shop and just went... Ugggg, no thanks!
- manly haircuts -- short hair can be cute, but not a "fade" or a boyish cut. (Nathalie Portman is beeeeeYOUtiful, but I hate this.)
- lack of muscle tone -- I got a thing for athletic girls!
- boobs bigger than a C cup -- yes, you read that right, I prefer small boobs!
- too much makeup, caked on and obvious
- facial hair, yeah please take care of that!
- strong southern accents -- I looooooove European accents, but a dixie chick twang is pretty gross. (although, living down south, I've sorta gotten over this one)

- a lot of my guy friends HAAAATE bad teeth, but it's never much bothered me

Keira is too thin, but honestly I'll take too thin over too fat. (My last gf had a body about like her; it was never an issue between us.)

You can't be all things to all people, though. Be yourself, be your BEST self, and you'll attract people who value those qualities.

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by driven1

- manly haircuts -- short hair can be cute, but not a "fade" or a boyish cut. (Nathalie Portman is beeeeeYOUtiful, but I hate this.)

Oooooo, I find her so sexy and attractive in that picture!

It's funny, some of the things some guys on this thread have said they found unattractive, are things I either don't mind, or find attractive. Especially about the hair - I find short hair way more attractive on a woman then long hair.

[cpalmer]

In no particular order:

- Lack of confidence or a strong sense of self

- Not taking care of themselves (not eating right/exercising, overweight, bad hygeine/grooming etc)

- Too "girly", playing into socially conditioned stereotypes of what women should be and do (reading girly magazines, watching fluff TV, owning 100 pairs of shoes, shopping all the time etc). I guess this could be said for playing into any popular trends or fads, really.

- I'll second the comments about too much makeup - yuck! That kind of thing just screams out phoniness and insecurity to me

- I'll also second the comment about tattoos... I'd prefer none at all - I think this one goes along with playing into trends and fads. You gotta wonder how many people in general (not just girls) would be into tattoos if it wasn't for their relatively recent surge in popularity. Just my personal opinion, I've never really understood it myself!

- Being too clingy/dependent. I'm a very independent guy and like a girl who has her own thing going, can think for herself, is resourceful and doesn't require attention every waking minute outside of work/sleep. To me, a relationship should never be the most important thing you have going on in your life, that's a pretty lame thing to center your life around if you ask me!


Anyways, my .02 worth! Hope that provides some insight.

[Eisho]

Originally Posted by dice

I understand that stuff like facial hair and body odours, generally unhealthy people would be unattractive, but GENDER SPECIFIC: what's not cool?

I think it'd be really helpful if you could just describe someone you know personally who is really unattractive.

On that note: What do you dudes think of keira knightley's body? I'm very curious. (Personally I think shes a little sinewy)

Keira is frikkin' gorgeous!!

What I find unattractive is women who act like men...women who are not feminine...women who are not secure in their sexuality...

I am very comfortable being a man...I love it!...and I like women who like being women...

Cheers,

Eisho

[estudiant9]

-Bad teeth: I know this is tricky because you really can't correct this without spending a ton of time and money on braces, but I find it just about impossible to be physically attracted to anyone with less than very good teeth. Maybe it's because of my own insecurity about my teeth, I mean they are fine but if I had all the money in the world I'd still get braces now, at the age of 22. On the other hand if you have great teeth, it's SUPER attractive.

-Bad breath: I know everyone has it, but keep it under control.

-Armpit hair/stubble: I find it quite unfeminine.

-Being too much into the dark stuff: i.e. Freddy and Kruger, torture/revenge fetish, having a punching bag at home with a coworker's face drawn on it, things that show that you have a lot of unresolved emotional issues.

-Perfectionism

-and THE BIGGEST: playing hard to get, emotional manipulation - I can't imagine dating someone who isn't honest about their interest in me/lack thereof, not because of some moral objection but simply because I can't read minds. If you blow me off, even in an attempt to make me chase after you, I just can't tell if you're telling me "The game is on" or "Screw off." If it happens more than a couple times I'm giving up, because there are too many beautiful people out there who are much easier to get to know. On the other hand, I'll go for an average looking girl with a heart of gold just about any day of the week. I know one such girl and she is indeed special.

I don't find Keira Knightley attractive. Let's say I'm not physically interested in people that I could lift with one arm. She can be very charming in films, just not my romantic fantasy.

[The NorthStar of Hope]

Actually everyone mentioned several "very common" things we truly find unattractive in women.
I personally HATE women who don't act like women.
Women who try to sound/act/walk/talk/write/etc. As if they were an equal peer to women. In my opinion both of the genders are neither superior nor inferior to one another. However, as each one of us has a different kind of mannerisms. I'll have to say, if you are a man. Act like one. & if you are a woman. Act like one .
The good thing about this "dislikeness", is that it's so comprehensive.
I mean almost every other dislikeness goes under the same category.
Such as : Not shaving. Shaving their heads or at least cutting very short.
Growing big muscles. & all other stuff some of our good members mentioned here.


P.S Women, we like you. & we are saying these things so we could like you more ^^

Best Regards,

[lifetimelearner]

Originally Posted by dice

I understand that stuff like facial hair and body odours, generally unhealthy people would be unattractive, but GENDER SPECIFIC: what's not cool?

I think it'd be really helpful if you could just describe someone you know personally who is really unattractive.

On that note: What do you dudes think of keira knightley's body? I'm very curious. (Personally I think shes a little sinewy)

what type of unhealthy people are you referring to?

from a woman's pov kiera is beautiful

I like the way she 'carries' herself

to me a woman is 'ugly' when she is displaying cruel or egostistical behavior

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by The NorthStar of Hope

I personally HATE women who don't act like women.
Women who try to sound/act/walk/talk/write/etc. As if they were an equal peer to women. In my opinion both of the genders are neither superior nor inferior to one another. However, as each one of us has a different kind of mannerisms. I'll have to say, if you are a man. Act like one. & if you are a woman. Act like one .

NorthStar, what you're trying to say here is coming out this way:

If you're a woman, act like all the other woman acts like. Or act like society believes that a woman should act like.

If you're a man, act like all the other man acts. Or act like society believes that a man should act like.

I myself don't 100% act like the stereotypical role society says a man should act, nor do I act like other men. I don't find myself attracted to women who blindly follows society's role for women.

I myself am much more attracted to a woman who acts like she feels more closely aligns with her true self then if she took your suggestion and acted like what society says a woman should act like, or if she acted like other women.

P.S Women, we like you. & we are saying these things so we could like you more ^^

With the suggestions you gave, it seems that you're telling women: Don't be yourself. Don't follow your inner voice. Be like the other women (and thus be a drone) and we'll like you more. What I'm saying is that I don't find drone attractive and I find women who are true to themselves regardless of the consequences or "gender-roles" to be much more attractive.

So, add this to my list of unattractive traits in women:

Fake acting like society says a woman should act so you can attract a guy who is into women who acts like society says a woman should act.

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by Eisho

What I find unattractive is women who act like men...women who are not feminine...women who are not secure in their sexuality...

I am very comfortable being a man...I love it!...and I like women who like being women...

Eisho, you seem to be saying (correct me if I'm wrong) that women who "act like men" and are "not feminine" do so because they're insecure in their sexuality or uncomfortable with being a woman.

In case that's what you mean, I'd like to say that of course there are certainly women who do what you call acting like men or not being feminine because they have a hard time with being a woman - but it's not the general rule.

"Acting like men" or "being feminine" are social judgments. Being comfortable with our gender doesn't mean we have to follow all socially conditioned stereotypes about this gender.

[Slamboard]

Cruelty and smoking are about the only two things that I find absolutely unattractive in women. I am strongly attracted to women.

[revmark]

1) neediness... someone who always seeks our approval.
2) manipulation.. especially lying.. games are fun and it's nice to actually have it especially when we were young, but please if you are really interested with the guy, give him good signs. we have trouble reading minds. i'm sure there are obvious ways to show it even though it is indirect (most women show their actions or talk indirectly)

3) most important of all: a woman who's afraid to take responsibility for their own actions. Someone who always blame us for their misery in life and lack of confidence.

[Victor Vikingr]

You know, women can also find other women attractive...

Anyway, I find a woman unattractive if she

- doesn't care about her health (especially smoking! Gross!))
- doesn't think for herself (drone of society, etc.)
- is cruel (to any animal)
- uses (too much) make-up. Preferably none at all. I know a girl who hardly ever uses make-up, and she looks great without it.

That's what I can think of at the moment.

About Knightly, I don't find her attractive. She looks very unhealthy.

[driven1]

Hey, seeker, I'm with you on being attracted to authentic women with a strong sense of self -- but if Northstar likes a certain type of woman, one that better meets society's expectations, that's completely valid. He's just a guy describing what he (dis)likes, not a social dictator barking out universal orders or anything. Some girls aren't gonna trip his trigger.

I mean, I love athletic women -- doesn't mean every girl's gotta go join a soccer team!

Oh yeah, I forgot smoking. Ugh. Pretty much a deal-breaker for me. But, again, if you love smoking, you go right ahead with yo bad self. I just don't want to date you is all. Somebody who likes smokers will be all about you!

[kpreston]

Too much makeup -- especially on the eyes.

Arm hair

The women's mustache... thing...

Exaggerated boyish qualities. If I wanted a guy friend, I'd go hang out with one of my guy friends. Belching in public is not funny or "awesome", dispite what other guys tell you.

Tattoos

Inability to accept compliments. "You look nice" "I'm fat" "Shut the **** up."

[Serenity]

I don't find anything more unattractive then when I see a pretty girl smoking. Biggest turn off there is for me and one of the few deal breakers.

[Scipio]

Originally Posted by Trezker

Dresses, skirts and stuff with frills etc... I think it's ugly.
I also hate high heels.
I prefer girls in jeans and practical shoes.

I agree that Keira is too thin.

I like the exact opposite. Nothing is better than a short skirt, stockings, and heels--which is how most girls dress here in Korea. It short skirts and heels all year round, even now when it is below freezing in the winter.

Actually there might be one thing better: Heels and tight low rise jeans with one of those bustier shaped tops.

[kpreston]

Originally Posted by Scipio

I like the exact opposite. Nothing is better than a short skirt, stockings, and heels--which is how most girls dress here in Korea. It short skirts and heels all year round, even now when it is below freezing in the winter.

Actually there might be one thing better: Heels and tight low rise jeans with one of those bustier shaped tops.

Korea sounds wonderful.

[Nathan]

Too much make up and trying to be over glamorous

Jumping to conclusions about a males intent

[missing]

openeyes already posted a one liner on this, but I'm gonna elaborate;

even though much of this thread is for physical stuff, I feel the need to add the absolute biggest turn off for me in regards to women; holding the male gender in contempt. The main issue I see is that many women have a false idea about what men are like. They get it from the media, and men who act a certain way in order to be accepted around them. I wonder if they had a more realistic picture of the things that go on inside an average male, even a "nice" one, how they would feel? I doubt they'd be very comfortable. I find it very frustrating when you try to point out the reality of being a man to women and they get pissy, or blow you off. Most women seem to think that men are just fellow women with penises, or they are sick violent brutes. I can see where they get this perception, but neither is anywhere near the reality. Any woman who refuses to look beyond her idealized view is guilty. I'm not just talking about hostile man-hater types. In many ways the "nicer" women who claim to care about men are worse, as they only care based on their idealistic view. At least the hostile women are more straightforward, which I can kind of respect. Sort of.

case in point; I read about a study where 35-50% of men said they would rape a woman if he felt 100% sure he could get away with it. The study was carefully designed, and there was no correlation between jock, frat boy types and "nice guy" types, many who supported things like feminism and women's rights. These are HUGE percentages, not just a select few jerks. I wonder how many women would dismiss hearing about this study right off the back as "absurd" without looking into it? And how many others would use it as an excuse to justify their view that men are "evil violent brutes"? I bet most would do one of these two things. But how many would use this kind of info to try and come to a deeper, more compassionate understanding as to what men were really like? She would be a real keeper.

disclaimer; yea I realize I'm "generalizing" and "not all men are the same" bla bla; so please, no need to point it out. I don't want to get dragged into that kinda quagmire debate.

[SuavePlaya]

Feminazi's, piercings(ears and nose acceptable), women that act like men, closed minded, smoking, drinking problems, drugs problems, doesn't know how to cook or clean. I can list more but this just came off the top of my head.

[RRR]

I think its hard for humans in this century. We are no longer a natural species and we have so many confusing directions from these titans of deception, culture, religion, family, all the mythologies that don't speak the truth about life.

I read about a study where 35-50% of men said they would rape a woman if he felt 100% sure he could get away with it.

I've read about a study where a large percentage of women have fantasies of being raped. I believe done in the 40s or 50s by Kinsey. (here is a quick google search result) Table 1 indicates that estimates of how many women have had rape fantasies are comparable for the community and student samples. Community estimates ranged from 31% to 49%, while student samples ranged from 31% to 57%.

I think a lot of what life lacks is what we had before civilization. We are seeking adventure, passion, purpose, motivation, all these things have been stripped away from us by being born into this century. The life I feel is being prescribed to me by the demigods of our time, my family, my culture, the consensus religion, the status quo, makes life sooooo boring (speaking from a suburban Ohioan perspective), it makes me want to throw a sharp stick at something and bring it back to the women I love for a celebratory orgy. It seems the more I go against the status quo, the more I go against cultural norms, the more I go against religion, the more I go with what is in my gut, the happier I become. It is only when I act on instinct that I truly feel human.