what do men find really UNATTRACTIVE in women?

[hopena]

Forget it.

[funchy]

Originally Posted by SuavePlaya

women that act like men...

Forgive me for what might be a stupid question, but what do mean by this?

[SuavePlaya]

I realize that many women when they were younger were tomboys. It's a major turn off to me when I flip on espn and my girlfriend is more excited than i'am or knows the whole yankees roster. I feel like i'am hanging out with another dude. I like women that don't have alot of trouble walking in high heels. These are just a couple of examples. BTW I'am not a big fan of keira knightley's body, she got a really really skinny frame.

[dwixi]

When girls act like there better than boys

[RT Wolf]

This thread could be a massive self-esteem hit for women reading it. I'm curious why the OP started it? Perhaps everyone would like to share what they do appreciate in women?

I know I've often compared myself to any standards for male attractiveness anytime has mentioned it, so I thought I'd pop in and point out a few things:

1. There is no one metaphysical criteria or judgement for "attractive" or "unattractive". I disagree with posters who phrased their preferences as absolutes. That is, "high heels are unattractive" makes a global statement about high heels. On the other hand, "Heels turn me off" states a preference. I find this with movies, too: "This movie is fantastic!" rather than "I really enjoyed it!". I've often found bad movies a lot of fun (Wanted, for example) and disliked good movies. Nothing wrong with that, its just preference. So, if you feel that you're unattractive based on some criteria posted here, consider that there are many, many other guys who would be attracted to the way you are. An example of a 180 degree difference is in this thread. Consider this: a number of the women considered the most beautiful women around have at times been told that they are unattractive and felt self-conscious about it. Beauty and unattractiveness truly are in the eye of the beholder, and that means that they often have nothing with you or your features, even if they are judging "you".

2. A lot of the guys I know make a distinction between finding someone physically attractive and wanting to have a relationship with them, even though the two do affect each other. So, when you ask for what is unattractive and list mostly physical attributes, the assumption is that attraction is mostly based on physical features. I will not deny that physical features are important to me, but as others have pointed out, this is often overridden by personality, habit and attitudes. I've been there. A woman who I found attractive, I saw her smoking and my attraction went to nill. Another time I was talking to a very pretty young woman and I mentioned something off the beaten path, like wanting to go polyphasic or vegetarian and she gave me a fear-based response and my attraction instantly went to zero. There are guys who love smokers and would get along with someone at their level of courage, but that's not for me. So, I kept looking and found my gf of 2 years and we're happy as can be.

[robc]

I think this post was started in response to the other thread on what women find unattractive in men.

Women with very low self-esteem would be a major one with me.
Women who actively seek external validation from other men, thrive on it and when they don't have it appear miserable, useless, sad, etc.

Women who exude male energy as opposed to exuding female energy, that would be a major turn off for me too. Being a man and being with a women who exudes more male than female energy is just not comfortable, it almost feels competitive.

Women with a poor sense of humor, can't laugh or smile regularly - that just isn't fun either.

That's a few of them, there may be a few more.

I'm sure the same can be said from a woman's perspective, just switch a few words above and I'm sure this resonates with women as well.

[Kwatcha]

Seeker5.....I like you

[ComplicatedSimplicity]

What I find most attractive for me is a genuine smile!!!

AKA a happy chick

[Dulma]

Originally Posted by missing

case in point; I read about a study where 35-50% of men said they would rape a woman if he felt 100% sure he could get away with it. The study was carefully designed, and there was no correlation between jock, frat boy types and "nice guy" types, many who supported things like feminism and women's rights. These are HUGE percentages, not just a select few jerks.

That's terrifying.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Dulma

That's terrifying.

I agree...disgusting and terrifying.

[nienie]

These posts are quite dicouraging for me... I take solace in the fact that I know different men have different tastes though.

For facial/arm hair: what about women whose hair grows rapidly, is dark, or those who can not escape skin discolouration due to hair even when they remove it regularly. What about women who have dark hair growing in masculine places? ie. Chest/ stomach etc... Do all men feel the same way about this, or is it just a common feeling? I'm curious as to whether these kinds of women are seen as unattractive by a majority of men.

[Monty]

Too much hair 'down there' is a real turn off for me, like how hard is it to get a pair of clippers and trim once in a while?

Vacuous or conceited girls turn me off too.

[alexjones]

Pretending on what they want...

[Focus Driblet]

Originally Posted by missing

[B]case in point; I read about a study where 35-50% of men said they would rape a woman if he felt 100% sure he could get away with it.

What the **** in hell. What the pickles in cranberry jam. What the

[ZephyrusX]

A little bit of hair never bothers me. There was this woman I worked with that was really attractive physically and in terms of personality. She had some facial hair though. So what. She was still attractive!

Originally Posted by nienie

These posts are quite dicouraging for me... I take solace in the fact that I know different men have different tastes though.

For facial/arm hair: what about women whose hair grows rapidly, is dark, or those who can not escape skin discolouration due to hair even when they remove it regularly. What about women who have dark hair growing in masculine places? ie. Chest/ stomach etc... Do all men feel the same way about this, or is it just a common feeling? I'm curious as to whether these kinds of women are seen as unattractive by a majority of men.

Too much hair 'down there' is a real turn off for me, like how hard is it to get a pair of clippers and trim once in a while?

Vacuous or conceited girls turn me off too.

Really? Oh well, I've always had a penchant for biblical images.

[ZephyrusX]

On a serious note, I think what attracts us to a person both physically and in terms of personality is multidimensional, and so, it doesn't really make any sense in my mind to highlight singular attributes as turn offs as if they exist in some sort of vacuum. I might meet a woman that I like both physically and in terms of personality, and although she may have one attribute that I may not care for, that attribute may not mean so much if I like everything else about the person.

The only exception I would make are 'deal breakers', and by that, I mean major compatibility issues.

[Criseyde]

Originally Posted by nienie

These posts are quite dicouraging for me... I take solace in the fact that I know different men have different tastes though.

For facial/arm hair: what about women whose hair grows rapidly, is dark, or those who can not escape skin discolouration due to hair even when they remove it regularly. What about women who have dark hair growing in masculine places? ie. Chest/ stomach etc... Do all men feel the same way about this, or is it just a common feeling? I'm curious as to whether these kinds of women are seen as unattractive by a majority of men.

Don't worry! You don't want to be with a man who's going to make a big deal over stuff like that.

I truly don't see the point in threads like this, and I'm sorry it got bumped.

[Monty]

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

A little bit of hair never bothers me. There was this woman I worked with that was really attractive physically and in terms of personality. She had some facial hair though. So what. She was still attractive!





Really? Oh well, I've always had a penchant for biblical images.

Horses for courses brother, its just a personal preference that I like a lady 'clean shaven' or at least a short back and sides!

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by Focus Driblet

What the **** in hell. What the pickles in cranberry jam. What the

Ya, exactly. What tha?

[ZephyrusX]

Am I the only person who wants to hi-jack this thread and turn it into something that it is not?

I doubt the mods would let me flood this thread with images of lovely 'burning bushes' though. *sigh*. Once I get an idea in my head, it doesn't leave. What to do, what to do?

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

Am I the only person who wants to hi-jack this thread and turn it into something that it is not?

I doubt the mods would let me flood this thread with images of lovely 'burning bushes' though. *sigh*. Once I get an idea in my head, it doesn't leave. What to do, what to do?

Do it, do it.

[Clint Cora]

Something I'll add here which I never even considered when I was younger and now I just hate after having experienced it a few times, is when women don't tell you about any issues they are having with the relationship. They of course tell their friends. I would think that I'm pretty open in communications but not all women in my life have been.

As a result, they would build up these issues inside until finally one day everything comes out at once. By that time, the relationship has already dwindled to a point that a breakup is predictable.

This is a red flag that I am going to try and notice early on if I can for any future relationship.

[ZephyrusX]

Oh, elucidate! You are like a little devil sitting on my shoulder! Glad to have you around!

Originally Posted by elucidate

Do it, do it.

[elucidate]

Originally Posted by ZephyrusX

Oh, elucidate! You are like a little devil sitting on my shoulder! Glad to have you around!

I'm even shoulder size in my AV too. I'd encourage wickedness in you anytime Zephy.

[Bustoff]

Selfishness is unattractive. Women who will keep you waiting, not be ready when you have made plans. That kind of stuff.

[180]

In the context of mating,

if she is selfish I'm totally turned off. If she doesn't fit the gender role of a female caregiver I fail to see her as mating potential. If she likes to party, drink heavy, smoke up, or shop all day long, all of these behaviors are super unattractive.

I've seen some women in church, join the choir, take care of needy kids (needy in the sense they have a handicap or are too young) and generally be sweethearts. That is a major turn on. Not in a sexual way but in a "I want a relationship with you" kind of way.

And I'd like to say being positive is attractive too, but I've met a girl with an ultra sunny disposition and it's a bit unrealistic... such a girl fails to see and perceive potential harm and danger. Someone with a more realistic and neutral disposition is more attractive

[lycan]

Based on the pics google showed me, I think Keira is hot. There is nothing I find really unattractive in women that is not health related. There are some things I find particularly attractive (right now, thin and short green-eyed blondes with perfect skin and a sunny disposition), but there is nothing I find unattractive. Even health related issues don't necessarily bother me.

[christianyethboth]

To me, what I find unattractive in women are women who are deliberately selfish to hurt other people, deliberately lie to hurt and scam other people and deliberately sponge off people without giving anything back in return when they are in a position to give something back.

What I also find unattractive in women are those who only go for 'physically attractive looking guys' and deliberately ignore the less 'physically attractive looking guys' even though they may have better personalities than the 'physically attractive looking guys'.

I personally always show an interest in women with personality over looks. I'm not really bothered on what their physical apprearance is, it's their personality that I find attractive and interested in. But, if I was dating someone who is in the eyes of other people 'physically attractive looking', then that was just by accident which wasn't what I was orignally looking for.

[elucidate]

Everything you've said here is understandable...and I could say the same about some men. It's not just some women who are like this, I'm sure you know.

The physically less attractive guys I've been with did not necessarily have the greatest personalities btw...so it isn't always set in stone that they will just because they aren't totally hot.

Originally Posted by christianyethboth

To me, what I find unattractive in women are women who are deliberately selfish to hurt other people, deliberately lie to hurt and scam other people and deliberately sponge off people without giving anything back in return when they are in a position to give something back.

What I also find unattractive in women are those who only go for 'physically attractive looking guys' and deliberately ignore the less 'physically attractive looking guys' even though they may have better personalities than the 'physically attractive looking guys'.

I personally always show an interest in women with personality over looks. I'm not really bothered on what their physical apprearance is, it's their personality that I find attractive and interested in. But, if I was dating someone who is in the eyes of other people 'physically attractive looking', then that was just by accident which wasn't what I was orignally looking for.

[lycan]

What is a "good" personality? Seriously? I think selfish, shallow, dishonest can all be cute. Sadistic can be hot. Depressed, humorless, "unrealistically" sunny, hyper, confident, fearful... all personality traits can be attractive.