Love and being in love

[dwixi]

Would you say that the love you feel in a one on one relationship is just the same love that you feel for everything else.. your just choosing to express it with one person? What the value in only being with one person and only choosing to say "I love you" only to your other half.
Thanks.

[Destine4destiny]

That is a very deep question for someone like me because I've never been in love , but I have been infatuated with a lot of people. One time my ex asked me, why do you love me? and I found myself making up reasons, that now when I think about them, do not make sense at all. Do I love myself? Hell to the yeah, but can I replicate that same love to someone else I highly doubt it. I guess it's hard for people to think about loving another human being because our minds get caught up in resenting them for the hurtful things that were said and done that,therefore, we forget to accept them for all their flaws,so our love probably could never form or could never be unconditional.

[ns123]

It depends on how you define "In Love"

"In Love" to some people brings up visions of dancing on air, flowers falling from the sky, sonnets, the elated feeling of being, um, in love.

Well, I have felt that before, but after 10 yrs of marriage, do I walk on air every time I see my man every single second of the day? Mmmm, no. Some times we annoy each other. Some times we don't make time to be polite (Take out the trash! Hey, put your stinky socks in the laundry basket!)

But, I still count myself as being in love. Is it in love like in a sonnet or a movie, or a poem? Not all the time, every single second of the day.

To me, In Love means that I commit myself to practicing the act of loving, every day, with the person I choose (my spouse). Does that mean, even after 10 years of practice, that I always make the choice that's in alignment with practicing love? No. But it does mean that I commit to the act of love (making his lunch, cooking his dinner, writing little notes, lighting up when our eyes meet, snuggling close...) to this special partner? Yes. (and of course, the sex part is not bad either)

Love is a verb. You are in love when you choose to practice love. But yes, it is a different kind of love than the kind you have for your mom, or your child, or your grandfather, or your best friend.

I hope that helps explain being in love.

[shakra]

Originally Posted by dwixi

Would you say that the love you feel in a one on one relationship is just the same love that you feel for everything else.. your just choosing to express it with one person? What the value in only being with one person and only choosing to say "I love you" only to your other half.
Thanks.

the love I feel for my partner is very different to the love I feel for some of my friends for example.

I still tell my friends " I love you " and they tell me all the time too.. I'm very lucky..

I love telling people that I love 'em!

[spookie149]

Originally Posted by dwixi

Would you say that the love you feel in a one on one relationship is just the same love that you feel for everything else.. your just choosing to express it with one person? What the value in only being with one person and only choosing to say "I love you" only to your other half.
Thanks.

The love I have for my bf is different from everything else. The value I have from it is being able to be 100% myself and know that doing so brings him joy. I feel safe being with him. He provides me support, and I do the same. I want to be there for him, watch out for him, be the person he feels most safe talking to about anything.

[Jacen]

Robert Heinlein, the science fiction author, has a definition of love that goes something like "Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own." This has worked very well for me in answering such questions.