black sheep sibling

[amixa]

i'm a black sheep sibling.. its quite lonely.
there is this huge rift between my older sister and i because when we were much younger my parents would tell my older sister 'why can't you be more like her??' so she hated me and caused me so much anguish even though i looked up to her and when we got another sister.. when she was old enough she would 'train her' to gang up on me with her.

years later.. i'm still the black sheep as i'm in the arts and both of them are pure business. my older sister never dealt with her issues from childhood and doesn't believe she could use some therapy.. and she's managed to grab my little sister's attention with all the flashy promises of business even though she used to be into the arts she's completely abandoned them and is now adopting so many habits my older sister has it disgusts me.
i mean its fine if she wants to go into business but she acts like her now.. and its a problem because my older sister talks down to me even though she may not be conscious of it.. she's also picking up her spoiled lazy ideals and it drives me insane.. because i end up having to clean up after them!!
they'll blame me for things together now (they stopped for a while but now it started again) and it doesn't help that they even look alike and i'm the one who looks adopted.

i've tried to get through to my older sister several times.. even didn't talk to her for a year and although its improved its far from fixed.
unfortunately no cool cousins to fill in the blank spots.. they're all overseas anyway.

i'm tired of being alone..

[ladee]

You are not alone, I also am the black sheep of our crazy family.It has taken me a long time to accept my situation for what it is. My oldest sister can not stand being in the same room with me. My middle sister has no identity and just goes along with whatever makes her look like a hero. And I'm the one that has lived her life, have no regrets, and knows who she is. For a long time I so desperately wanted to belong. To have them in the fantasy of the "sisters who get along". But as time and situations presented themselves, I came to understand that I HAD been given sisters. My two best friends are my SISTERS. We laugh, cry, argue, make up and grow together. So it's not blood. Who cares! My sisters are who they are, and I try to not judge them, but even in my pity for their miserable lives, I am judging. I accept this as it is. Now, I do. It took a lot of introspection on my part, and for me to realize I would never fit their mold of how I SHOULD be. They unknowingly taught me what I DID NOT WANT TO BE WHEN I GROW UP. No, you are not alone. You are you. Expand your horizons girl and you will connect with people who are like you, who rejoice in your company and are not in competition. The world is full of people who are NOT my sisters, and for that I'm grateful. Hang in there, get to know yourself and what you want your life to be about and go for it. The Universe will bring you what your heart desires, maybe just not in the way you think. Good thoughts for your journey.

[Remorse]

Both of you are a sight for sore eyes! Especially you amixa.

My older sister and I are only about 1 3/4 of a year apart, but we have never had a great relationship.
She was always bossy, always talked down to me (STILL does), and treats me like I am so inferior to her! Like she is so much higher than I am, and it drive me crazy.

Unfortunately my little sister follows her example. DESPITE the fact that she is 3 1/2 years my junior, she treats me like I'm at a lower level than herself.

All three of us are into some facet of the arts. Right now My older sister is modern dancing occasionally, my younger sister is dancing (classic ballet) all the time. I however, am better qualified as "good" at a variety of things (Voice, acting, french mime) than "great" at one.

At the moment the younger is the best at her respective craft as compared to the rest of us. She is also considered the "sweet" one out of all of us. Hence, she is my mom's favorite and least likely to get in trouble.

My older sister is an A grade college student (going from home so I still have all the problems) and still a thorn in my side.

I am the "let down" of the girls. Younger has all that dancing talent, Older the scholastic achievement, Me.... a few spots of talent but not much else.

Both of them are petite with long gold hair, and I am tall, short brown haired, with a little too much junk in the trunk (healthy weight, but I carry it poorly).

I can't stand my little sister at all (we practically hate each other) and my older sister is someone I would not be friends with if we were not related.

The only people in my house that I DO have a good relationship with is my dad and sweet handsome younger bro. Little bro is so caring and kind, I love him to death. Dad is so quirky and clueless I can't help loving him.

But as far as the female in my family.... I seriously am the black stupid fat sheep of them all.

[Alexjstrandberg]

Looking at a mirror. I took a different path then my brother and sister (decided to be self employed then work for someone else) and used to get it badly. "why don't you do this or that" blah blah blah.

The key is to stop the disrespect before it osculates. Unfortunately some people can't be talked to like other normal people. If I was giving you a hard time for things and you told me to stop I would. But with your sister it seems the normal approach doesn't seem to be working.

Any time she starts in with the 'you should' or giving you attitude you simply tell her to knock it off or stop. Never argue or try to persuade them to see your side of the story just tell them to stop before they get on a roll. If they don't stop just leave the room.

When things calm down tell them that you won't tolerate disrespect or any unsolicited advice as for what you should do with your life (in a calm but as a matter of fact tone).

As for the cleaning up part, take the mess they leave and leave it on their bed. When they get upset just tell them not to be slobs. After a couple days or so of having their dirty mess put on their bed they will learn the lesson.