Connecting with more people

[Lauxa]

I'm not sure if it is just a passing fancy, but I am feeling a strong desire to connect with more people. Small talk annoys me, what I want is to quickly see what it is that makes a person unique, different, crazy. And I don't want to have to spend a lot of time to get there, it would be great if I could just generate an instant connection with random people and within 5-15 minutes learn something new and exciting.

I'm going to set an intention to generate more of these connections in my life, and if anyone has advice or suggestions on how I'd love to hear them.

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Lauxa

I'm not sure if it is just a passing fancy, but I am feeling a strong desire to connect with more people.

Same here! Let me know of how it goes.

[Rockchick26]

i have this desire too,only i wish i could do it in real life instead of just on the internet. I kinda wish they had those speed dating things but just to get to know people,not having anything to do with dating.

[LordSappington]

I was once at a graduate school party at a bar, and there were people walking around with little leaflets. I figured that some advertising agency was pushing some new brand of alcohol until this girl handed me one. It read, "Kite Party" and then went on to describe how she was throwing a kite party on such and such date and they were inviting everyone at the party (the party maybe had 500 people at it). Of course, the majority of people took one to be polite and walked away, but I thought that idea was brilliant. I talked to her and the other party planner, and despite not really knowing them or their friends, I decided to show up.

It was a bit awkward since it was mainly her tight group of friends, but it at least put me in a position to meet new people. And I got to fly a kite, which I haven't done in like 10 years. It was a beautiful day. I ended up getting stressed out by interacting with so many strangers, so I just lay on a hill in the sunshine instead. No one seemed to care that I did that since it was the perfect day to just look at the clouds.

So for the cost of printing up 400 small fliers, which was probably around $10, she threw a fairly successful party. She also had an easy way to approach random strangers and introduce herself. My point is, if you want a speed dating to make new friends, maybe you should throw your own.

[Halffull]

Ask open ended questions that point toward the direction you want to go, some of my favorites:

What's the craziest thing you've ever done?

What's the most loving thing you've done in the past week?

What's the worst thing you've ever done?

Happiest moment of your life?

etc.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by LordSappington

I was once at a graduate school party at a bar, and there were people walking around with little leaflets. I figured that some advertising agency was pushing some new brand of alcohol until this girl handed me one. It read, "Kite Party" and then went on to describe how she was throwing a kite party on such and such date and they were inviting everyone at the party (the party maybe had 500 people at it). Of course, the majority of people took one to be polite and walked away, but I thought that idea was brilliant. I talked to her and the other party planner, and despite not really knowing them or their friends, I decided to show up.

It was a bit awkward since it was mainly her tight group of friends, but it at least put me in a position to meet new people. And I got to fly a kite, which I haven't done in like 10 years. It was a beautiful day. I ended up getting stressed out by interacting with so many strangers, so I just lay on a hill in the sunshine instead. No one seemed to care that I did that since it was the perfect day to just look at the clouds.

So for the cost of printing up 400 small fliers, which was probably around $10, she threw a fairly successful party. She also had an easy way to approach random strangers and introduce herself. My point is, if you want a speed dating to make new friends, maybe you should throw your own.

Well that requires you to already be AT a big party in order to have that many people to hand the leaflets to! I'm never lucky enough to be invited to anything like that. And it wouldn't quite be the same if i walked into a crowded bar and did that. Even at work,i already know them and most people there hate each other anyway I'll keep thinking.

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Halffull

Ask open ended questions that point toward the direction you want to go, some of my favorites:

Halfull,

Those sounds like interesting questions! Have you asked these questions within 10 minutes of asking someone? Or have you tended to ask someone these questions after knowing them a while?

[Lauxa]

Halffull, I want to know the same answers as Seeker!

Okay, so after setting my intention I went to Wal-Mart. I saw a lady in line at the in-store McD's and she said she needed a sweet to pick her up. She had a lollypop on her tray and I commented that that seemed very restrained, then she mentioned to me that another friend had advised her that sucking on a lolly is a great way to perk up on a long car ride. So, one useful bit of knowledge from a 2 minute conversation. I also chatted up the checker on the way out, though I didn't manage to acquire any info of use.

I found that after starting these conversations I got a little restless, my attention wanted to wander and not really focus on and be present with the other person. I'm going to work on this and see if I can get some better results.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Lauxa

Halffull, I want to know the same answers as Seeker!

Okay, so after setting my intention I went to Wal-Mart. I saw a lady in line at the in-store McD's and she said she needed a sweet to pick her up. She had a lollypop on her tray and I commented that that seemed very restrained, then she mentioned to me that another friend had advised her that sucking on a lolly is a great way to perk up on a long car ride. So, one useful bit of knowledge from a 2 minute conversation. I also chatted up the checker on the way out, though I didn't manage to acquire any info of use.

I found that after starting these conversations I got a little restless, my attention wanted to wander and not really focus on and be present with the other person. I'm going to work on this and see if I can get some better results.

That's really cool you were able to talk to her that long! See i always feel like you can't really make any serious connections there cuz you only have a few minutes,and when you're in a check out line,people want to move along quickly and not wait for the person in front of them to get done talking to the clerk,cuz talking can slow it down even more. I feel like its pretty impossible to make the kind of connection i want to make unless its a relaxed setting where neither of you will be leaving soon.