Does having deep/meaningful/emotionally intimate friendships, harm your relationship?

[pyrogen]

Wondering if anyone else has had the same issue.

I tend to have very deep friendships... lots of sharing, at times even nonsexual physical affection (my friends are all very touchy-feely and huggy, my heterosexual female friends and I would spend a lot of time giving back/shoulder rubs, for example).

But when I'm in a relationship, I find that my partners don't like this... they feel like the intimacy with me is "cheapened" and it doesn't mean anything to be my partner, because I give too freely with others. Lots of people on various friends lists online know about my deep dark stuff, and I usually have a variety of people to turn to for emotional support.

The partner ends up feeling like there's nothing special about them.

I end up isolating myself, but then end up feeling miserable doing so, because one person can't meet all those needs.

I thought having a partner wasn't about cutting off connections to other people, but about putting one person first?

Mind you, I'm a fairly extreme extravert. I work in a "caring" profession in addition to being highly social on my off time. And the partners I've been with have been pretty extreme on the introvert end.

[seeker5]

No. I think you're just attracting jealous partners now. Time to change what kind of partner you attract.

BTW: Being introverted doesn't mean one is jealous.

[JimOfferman]

Originally Posted by pyrogen

The partner ends up feeling like there's nothing special about them.

That's really not your problem, but that of your partner.

He (she?) is not loving you exactly as you are and exactly as you are not, instead he's demanding more than his share of affection from you so he doesn't have to work through his insecurities.

I thought having a partner wasn't about cutting off connections to other people, but about putting one person first?

Actually, partner or not, it is always about putting you first. Only when your own needs are met, can you cater to those of others.

If your partner is not adding to your happiness, why stay in the relationship?

(I'm not saying you should break off at the first speed bump, of course...)