|11-22-2008, 11:17 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Northern California
Very hard lesson to learn...
I realized the thing sabotaging my relationships, was not having room/space for them.
And how did this happen?
In my early twenties, when I was desperately lonely, I learned to fill up that empty space. With activities that had a solipsistic and addictive quality, and with people that weren't mates but actually kept me from having suitable mates.
So, I learned, about the empty space... don't fill it with anything you can't share (such as a hobby or spiritual practice that you can later share with a partner), that doesn't connect you to the community, or with a person who isn't the person you actually want to be with (no relationships of convenience!), or that doesn't help you grow.
This stuff actually sabotaged two relationships. I didn't even see it at the time.
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