Older women and younger men ?

[shalom]

I can't believe I'm actually posting this, but what the heck..

I'm a divorced woman the "other" side of 40. Since my divorce I haven't really seriously thought about dating again.

Until yesterday. There is a man with whom I am associated through work, who is friendly and funny. Usually, I wouldn't even think for a second think that there could be something else going on when people are easy-going and chatty with me because apart from other things, I have always been quite "thick" when it comes to correctly interpreting male intentions, so most of the time I just fpsshhh it away. As in "naaa-phooey-couldn't be..."

But this time I wonder. Can't exactly say why, but I am getting a vibe of some kind, despite my best attempts to tell myself it's nonsense.

What makes this even more sensitive is that this person is at least 12-15 years younger than me. And rather yummy, I must say...

So what do you all think about this? Should I take a deep breath and just go with it, risking a huge embarrassment if it turns out to be totally opposite to what I think ? Or go find someone more geriatric ?

What do you young men out there think about liasions/affairs with older women?

[Pequod]

Enjoy! It happens all the time. I'm now dating a girl 13 years my junior and we're fine with it (I'm a man by the way). My secretary told me she is 'seeing' a young man 13 years her junior and she's also fine with it. It's great to have someone to share fun, sex and good times, even if there's no solid relationship behind it (I'm not so sure I would want to be in a serious relationship anyway)

Have fun!

[openeyes]

For now I'm enjoying a monogamous, long term heterosexual relationship with someone of a similar age to myself, but I know personally there are plenty of other enjoyable options out there. When I was 20 I dated a very fit 59 year old female professor (not one of mine, just a friend of my landlord) and overall it was a worthwhile experience.

If someone can be young yet mature (such as my current girlfriend at age 21, with me being a 24 year old male), or mature yet young at heart, I'm fine with it either way as long as they're legal. I also dated men in their mid 20s, 30s, and 50s, and found that age wasn't a central issue, just life experience.

[carenkh]

It wouldn't have to be a huge embarrassment! If you did misread intentions, there's no harm in that at all.

I was talking to a recently-separated friend, who lives in a college town and is around all these beautiful young men. We talked about the "creepy rule", which means dating anyone below your age, divided by two, plus seven is considered creepy. We kept doing the math... "OK - this one's almost not creepy! That's probably OK!", etc. Laughing the whole time. So we started with that "rule" (which I know isn't really a rule, it was just fun), then we went down to legal drinking age (21 here), which is funny 'cause neither of us drink, and by the end of the conversation, we were saying "Legal! They just have to be legal! Over 18!"

The next day, I saw an episode of Oprah Winfrey. She had the cast of Sex & The City on, and she talked to Kim Cattrall about seeing a younger man. Kim drawled, "Oh, yeah! Absolutely! As long as they're driving! I mean, I'm not going to go pick them up!" I was cracking up.

Dan Savage has a rule about dating much younger people - he says it's like the campsite rule: leave them better than you found them. That link has more thoughts about that.

[seeker5]

So what do you all think about this? Should I take a deep breath and just go with it, risking a huge embarrassment if it turns out to be totally opposite to what I think ? Or go find someone more geriatric ?

I say go for it, if that's what you desire! As long as he's of legal age or higher, then no problem from my perspective.

I've seen young men date much older women.

[angies]

It is a bit a trend nowaday for older women to date younger men. I think physically older women are less inhibited and more open sexually due to their experience, which suited younger men who are in their sexual prime. Emotionally imo men are often less matured than women at the best of time, In the younger men situation the problem may be more obvious. Unless the younger men are more mature for their age.

Also In a few real life OW/YM relationships that I witness, often the older women give away too much of themselves in order to maintain the relationship. In the long run often the balance of power shift more toward the younger men.

So while it is great for casual relationships, I am not sure how long one can maintain such a relationship. After all we all don't look like Demi Moore and do not have her millions to keep our younger men happy.

[shalom]

Hello angies - thanks for making the distinction between long term connections and casual flings. I do agree that the longer-term relationships, in general, place the woman at somewhat of a disadvantage.

In my original post, I was thinking about a fling.

I have decided to give it a try! Gulp...

[angies]

Hi Shalom,

It can be fun for a fling or 2 and a tremendous boost to your self confidence in the short term. I have tried it and had a great time.

Just make sure you go in with eyes wide open and protect your heart at all cost, get out before you get hurt. It is easy to start a fling but harder to end the relationship as often us women are the emotional one, who easily develop affection and romanticised the whole situation.

Have fun....

[Eisho]

Originally Posted by shalom

I can't believe I'm actually posting this, but what the heck..

I'm a divorced woman the "other" side of 40. Since my divorce I haven't really seriously thought about dating again.

Until yesterday. There is a man with whom I am associated through work, who is friendly and funny. Usually, I wouldn't even think for a second think that there could be something else going on when people are easy-going and chatty with me because apart from other things, I have always been quite "thick" when it comes to correctly interpreting male intentions, so most of the time I just fpsshhh it away. As in "naaa-phooey-couldn't be..."

But this time I wonder. Can't exactly say why, but I am getting a vibe of some kind, despite my best attempts to tell myself it's nonsense.

What makes this even more sensitive is that this person is at least 12-15 years younger than me. And rather yummy, I must say...

So what do you all think about this? Should I take a deep breath and just go with it, risking a huge embarrassment if it turns out to be totally opposite to what I think ? Or go find someone more geriatric ?

What do you young men out there think about liasions/affairs with older women?

No problem. If you connect enjoyyour time together.

Just do it!!

Eisho