Blind leading Blind

[straysweeper]

I sometimes think my brother and I could be great team, as we compliment most of each others weaknesses, some critical ones seem to remain. He has been trying to get me to do some more work for him so that way I can have money in my pocket. Yet, I'm not too keen on that type of work as it doesn't seem to add genuine value, and that is what I'm looking for. Both my friend and my brother are talking about my current financial responsibilities. My friend is more like, go get a job, no matter what for the consistency factor, and my brother is more like, do this for now as it is greater upside/time wise. I want a combination of both consistency and upside.

The adage; 'Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime.' Is something that continually rears its head in my thought processes when dealing with my brother. Today, I tried to explain to him that even if I spend a couple of days doing this, I'll be the better part of a portion of a week down in looking for something more suitable to my goals. His reaction was more of one, getting nervous because of the work entailed that he'd now have to do rather than me doing it. And upset that he couldn't depend on me and was disappointed in me talking myself out of things yet again. He is also going through a major emotional time, as a longtime significant relationship blew up on him. He got a lot of his identity in that relationship.

The online business I want to develop, he could be a great asset in terms of saving time, money and accelerating things. He also, has the contacts and such, but instead ends up wanting me to go through him or with him so he can capitalize on my lack of start up capitol.

I did feel more conscious and alert after avoiding his attempts to make me feel guilty. In a sense, I got a bigger view of the picture, seeing the bigger themes in our relationship. There are reasons in the past that make me question working with him for any length of time, and where I'd like to use his resources to develop something more... 'Just' (for lack of a better term) than he has in the past. He has the contacts, ambition and people skills, while I have the vision, responsibility and number skills.

Last time we dealt with things, he left to Paris with his girlfriend without making all the loose ends were tied up, and I ended up with nearly 1000 in expenses I think were his. I would have listed them, but after typing it, a lot of negative emotions and memories came up. I started to see more of how I was treated that I don't agree with. I messed up too. I got pissed, and held some stuff hostage in an attempt to get my money back. I eventually realized I wasn't doing write, so I sent him back his stuff. Only to not get back what he promised me.

[Dan.Linehan]

I wouldn't work with him as a business partner after that. In my experience, good business arrangements should just click into place, and feel very natural and positive.

[Eisho]

Get a job and see if you can help him out in your spare time if you are inclined to do so. But like Dan says, personally I would think twice about going into business with him again.

Cheers,

Eisho

[straysweeper]

Thanks for the input, and I really wanted to play with the poll feature. I couldn't help myself.

Working with him has never really aligned with my personal values or personal growth. There has been times he has helped in the long term. He is partially responsible for my interest in PD.

Well, I will ask him to setup either a way to work through his accounts, or contacts, or my own. I'll include him in what profits I make, which I think will make things win win.

[ns123]

I think you should not go into business with your brother. He doesn't seem to have your interests at heart, but his own. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but it seems to be at the detriment of your own interests.

So, walk away and go after your ideal career.

[straysweeper]

Okay, I feel manipulated again. My brother's room at a local casino got broken into and his computer stolen, but he didn't tell me for over a day and half. Instead he wallowed in his misery and drunken stupor. When I finally found out about it, I go over there to talk with him as he can't seem to face a conversation.

Turns out my last conversation had an effect on him. I told was seeking consistency versus something immediate. And he had made a purchase of product based on my willingness to participate. Weather or not I participated should have little to do with his overall business. However, based on a conversation with him about his financial situation has shown me that the past repeats itself if you do not learn from it.

Now in order to save his life, I HAVE, to help him with this picking up some movies and turning them over. And since he is so desperate, I'm to make a killing, however undisclosed it may be. Now I am not one to turn away someone in pain. But I think he knows this and maybe unconsciously using it to garner attention, favor, and assistance.

He told me in my face to face conversation that he has always worried about me and wanted to put me first. However his thinking about such things I wonder, or at least the results that end up happening.

Now, the tone of this post is probably going to be very biased as I'm frustrated, of which I'm trying to learn from and listen to. I have a compact car, and right now I already have my backseat loaded with some stuff he had sent to me. Stuff, with which I don't want to burden my friends house with, even for a little while. On top of which I'm to find a way to pick up 2600 dvds which will take more than one trip in my car. Again not wanting to take up my friends house with such space. Only option, get a self storage unit.

To do that, I need some funds. While I'm out suppose to be running around town, what is my brother doing? I have no clue. Yesterday he was hung over, so I can see him resting clearing his head. Today, he is unreachable. Hence my frustration. He expects me to do all this for him, yet I can't get a hold of him because he is feeling sorry for himself.

I guess what really ticks me off about this, I used to do the same things. Most recently I hid myself in Oklahoma for a few months, avoiding almost all responsibilities. Much to my financial detriment. Now everything I'm annoyed with is coming to the surface and it is alot. And I still have to get things situated for him.

I love my brother, and while I can appreciate his life situation as some of it has mirrored my own. I still think he could be doing more to be apart of the solution.

[funchy]

If he's already ditched you once with a huge bunch of business expenses to pay, he really isn't worth trusting.

I'd go find an independent path to success. If you work with him in small amounts and you keep him from running up your expenses, that's fine. But you may get into trouble if you count on him for anything important.

I'd also advise against doing too much business with a close family member because I'd never want money to sour our relationship. Business comes and goes, but family is forever.

[ns123]

Let him go with love.

When he repeatedly takes advantage of you, and you are there to help him, always, you are robbing him of the chance to be independent and make it on his own. You are not his savior. Only he can save himself. He doesn't want to, nor does he have any incentive to, since he knows you'll always come through for him.

You are his enabler.

Let him go with love. Don't help him any more, next time he calls you, tell him you will not help him. You are helping him more by refusing to enable him.

[straysweeper]

I found out that he wasn't in the hotel all day yesterday, turns out he went to have a cat scan, and found his way to another hotel without me.

Silver Lining
I've come pulled out some goals out of all this. Wanting to get into my own place, get back into a gym, become healthy, clear my debts, establish credit, and develop a business cash machine to achieve this, and to help fund my way through school.

One thing about the cash machine is that sometimes the book says it isn't always inline with your ultimate or life vision. It is to create money so that way you can do that. Yet, I've read strength finder 2.0 and believe that my future lies in something that I love, not something that I don't.

That said, my brother has shifted on me again. I had agreed to help him to a degree, mostly thinking that he'd didn't have much of a choice. But now I'm not so sure. He had said that I'd be handsomely rewarded for helping him as had no other options. Now it seems like he has maneuvered things back to the way he wants them. I will grant him that his plan helps out more than just myself and him, our parents benefit too. But I can't help but feel that I didn't agree with this before? It feels like the whole identity sales pitch. Get them agreeing, and agreeing, then once they have that identity, then shift things on you.

My brother told me that he has always wanted to put me first. Does it seem that way when he offers me 10% of the gross commission? You tell me.

Perhaps I've digressed completely.