I want go cut my hair short! but then I won't be as attractive to men?

[lightthecandle]

ok. here's the deal:

I am dying to cut my hair! but the thing is I look better with longer hair, as do all girls. right now its around my shoulders, but its straight, and i want it in layers, but shorter! but not that short.

the problem is that my sister's hair is short already, and she is GORGEOUS...and i don't people to tell me how her hair looks way better, which i know is true anyway.

another problem is that, I feel like more attractive with longer hair, but i want the freedom of short hair, but i have chubby cheeks so i'm not sure if thats a good idea?

ok, this is how i want the hair to look, however, i'm 23 years old, and my cheeks are a little chubbier( i'm by no means fat however) , and i'm indian (but i was born here, as were my parents)....

and long hair is soooo valued in our culture =/

http://www.womensbeautylife.com/albu..._cut.thumb.jpg

[The David]

Originally Posted by lightthecandle

ok. here's the deal:

I am dying to cut my hair! but the thing is I look better with longer hair, as do all girls. right now its around my shoulders, but its straight, and i want it in layers, but shorter! but not that short.

the problem is that my sister's hair is short already, and she is GORGEOUS...and i don't people to tell me how her hair looks way better, which i know is true anyway.

another problem is that, I feel like more attractive with longer hair, but i want the freedom of short hair, but i have chubby cheeks so i'm not sure if thats a good idea?

How fast does your hair grow? You might just think of it as an experiment. Besides, it isn't like a few inches off is going to damage your reputation or anything.

And maybe you'll start getting attention from all those guys who like short hair and never notived you before.

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by lightthecandle

I am dying to cut my hair!

Go for it!

but the thing is I look better with longer hair, as do all girls.

I don't know why you believe that. I find girls with short hair soooo much more attractive then girls with long hair. And girls with very short hair? Oh so yummmy!

I'm sure there are plenty of men who believe as I do.

So, don't worry about how you look. Set your hair for what your heart tells you.

[SomeRandomGuy]

I had long hair for quite some time, then finally got tired of it and had it all cut off. It was such a hassle, and incredibly hot in the summer. I use to tell my wife I wanted her to keep her hair short, until my experience with long hair. Now I would never tell someone to keep long hair, because I know it can be a pain. I've also stopped putting so much importance on hair length when evaluating the attractiveness of a woman. So basically what I'm trying to say is don't worry what other people think, if you want to cut your hair, do it. There is no reason to put up with something you don't want or like just for others.

[Daffy Duck]

Cut it!

What comes out of your mouth is more attractive to men than what is on your head. If you're dying to cut your hair, then I highly recommend you cut it. I don't know many men who want to date a dead woman (but they are out there).

Maybe you are more attractive with long hair. Maybe not. Honestly, it depends on who you ask.

[missing]

I have to differ from the crowd here. I don't believe any woman looks better with short hair. She still might look good, just not *as* good. If a guy says a woman looks "as good" he's probably lying, so as to not hurt her feelings and/or so she doesn't get pissed at him, or call him "shallow". I believe there are more men who think similar to me than the opposite, but won't speak up for fear of being reprimanded this way. In our culture, long hair is a defining feminine feature. Personally I'm attracted to feminine looking women, as are most guys (I believe). I'm not suggesting you don't cut your hair. Go ahead, if you really want to. But I do believe you will be paying a price in terms of how physically attractive you are to most men. That's just the way I see it.

[Cran]

Originally Posted by SomeRandomGuy

I use to tell my wife I wanted her to keep her hair short, until my experience with long hair.

I would never assume to tell anybody how to keep their hair. It is each persons own head, isn't it?

I like my hair long (past my hips), and I feel attractive with it. But if you're feeling better with another cut, you will radiate that feeling to the outside.
Long hair is only one, small factor (I think) that initially attracts a man. But would you really want to stay with a man that is attracted to you only because you have long hair?
We deal with that problem in long hair forums quite a bit. It is called fetishism .

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by missing

I have to differ from the crowd here. I don't believe any woman looks better with short hair. She still might look good, just not *as* good. If a guy says a woman looks "as good" he's probably lying, so as to not hurt her feelings and/or so she doesn't get pissed at him, or call him "shallow".

Nope, not lying when I say I honestly find women with shorter hair more attractive. Do you seriously believe that every single person must find the same trait attractive?

I do believe you will be paying a price in terms of how physically attractive you are to most men.

It's true a bunch of men who currently find her attractive with long hair may not find her attractive with short hair. It's true there possibly are more men out there who prefer long hair then men like me who prefer shorter hair. However, to choose an appearance simply based on what most people will find attractive is ludicrous in my opinion. It's better for her to be true to herself and to attract the kind of men who is attracted to her when she's following her heart. And while those kind of men may be fewer in numbers then the kind of men attracted to long hair, she'll be better off in my opinion.

[missing]

Nope, not lying when I say I honestly find women with shorter hair more attractive. Do you seriously believe that every single person must find the same trait attractive?

well I didn't say *you* were a liar. I do however believe many men lie to women about how they look with their new short haircuts. They do this so as not to offend/hurt her feelings. They also do it so they are not accused of being "shallow" and only caring about appearances. I've done this personally, just to avoid a hassling situation. I know other guys who have done it. Frankly, I find it annoying when women cut their hair short and "insist" that their male friends/boyfriends like it. Cut your hair however you want but if you look worse, you look worse. Your friends shouldn't be "forced" to lie to you about it.

It's true a bunch of men who currently find her attractive with long hair may not find her attractive with short hair. It's true there possibly are more men out there who prefer long hair then men like me who prefer shorter hair. However, to choose an appearance simply based on what most people will find attractive is ludicrous in my opinion. It's better for her to be true to herself and to attract the kind of men who is attracted to her when she's following her heart. And while those kind of men may be fewer in numbers then the kind of men attracted to long hair, she'll be better off in my opinion.

I believe that the OP was concerned that cutting her hair short would make her "generally" less attractive, ie: less attractive in the eyes of most men. You may consider this "ludicrous" but it obviously matters to her. I concur with her assessment that she will probably lower her attractiveness with shorter hair. Granted, I haven't seen pictures, and the link she gave didn't work. Maybe she looks great with short hair, but in my experience, no woman has ever looked *better* with short hair than long hair. Also, there is no proof that she will attract less shallow men just cause she is "following her heart". I imagine she'd just attract less men overall, good and bad.

Yea, maybe not the "feel good politically correct" way to answer the question, but long hair on a woman is more attractive to most. That's just how it is.

[ThoughtAddict]

Originally Posted by lightthecandle

I am dying to cut my hair! but the thing is I look better with longer hair, as do all girls. right now its around my shoulders, but its straight, and i want it in layers, but shorter! but not that short.

the problem is that my sister's hair is short already, and she is GORGEOUS...and i don't people to tell me how her hair looks way better, which i know is true anyway.

Cut it.

I had a friend who had this issue a while back. She wanted to chop off her hair to a boy's cut. She was worried people wouldn't find her attractive, especially since she wanted it very, very short. She agonized over it. She asked everyone for advice, and everything she got was mixed. Her parents hated the idea. Some friends liked it, but others thought it would be horrible. Finally, she just took the plunge because she wanted to.

She loved it. And most of her friends thought it looked very nice on her.
I disagreed. She was more attractive, but the hair didn't make the difference. She was different. She felt cute, and that feeling translated into a confident, attractive charisma. She loved how she looked and she exuded that self-love.

Guys' opinions vary. Trust your own opinion.

[Elrond]

I wonder if Rose of Cairo is going to respond to this.

[bluemoon]

Cut it! My ex used to be one of those long hair guys... til I cut it and he said it looked better. And he was definitely not lying, bc he had no qualms saying other mean things. My current bf doesn't care.

Besides, it'll grow back!

[SomeRandomGuy]

Originally Posted by Cran

I would never assume to tell anybody how to keep their hair. It is each persons own head, isn't it?

I like my hair long (past my hips), and I feel attractive with it. But if you're feeling better with another cut, you will radiate that feeling to the outside.
Long hair is only one, small factor (I think) that initially attracts a man. But would you really want to stay with a man that is attracted to you only because you have long hair?
We deal with that problem in long hair forums quite a bit. It is called fetishism .

You're right. I should have been a little more clear on what I meant by this. My wife knew she was free to do with her hair what she wanted. She had been supportive when I chose to grow my hair long, even though I think she preferred it shorter. My point is that I preferred her with long hair, and she was aware of that. I am not sure that my preference is the only reason she keeps her hair long, but I know it impacts her decision. I think that people should do what they want with their hair, and not worry what others think. Personally, if someone were attracted to me because of my hair (and lost the attraction should I change my hair) I really would not want care about their opinion very much since it was based on something so superficial.

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by Elrond

I wonder if Rose of Cairo is going to respond to this.

Haha lol Well, now I just have to!

Based on my experience with my shaved head, I'd say that yes, cutting your hair will lower your average attractiveness. With average attractiveness I mean your attractiveness in the eyes of the average person, or majority of persons. A majority of guys (but not all) seem to find women with short hair less attractive indeed, but it's not only guys. A majority of women also seem to find women with short hair less attractive. I think it's not gender specific, it's more social conditioning saying that women should have long hair.

Cutting your hair will attract men who love women with short hair or don't care about the woman's hair. If you'd love to have short hair, then I'd say with short hair you'll attract guys whom you'll resonate with better than with guys who need long hair. Doing something because it pleases the majority doesn't seem to be a genuine thing to do in my eyes. It would be bending yourself and being untrue to what you really want just to gain greater social acceptance. Why do you need this social acceptance?

[JimOfferman]

Originally Posted by lightthecandle

I am dying to cut my hair!

Then do! You can always grow it back if you don't like it

[Akashic_Librarian]

I think short hair makes some girls look incredibly hot! Some girls, however suit longer hair. Could we see a picture of you? Maybe we could decide.

[seanner689]

Wow, so many opinions on hair!! I feel a little less alone in the universe ...

one of my exes had beautiful curly hair that she cut short, and I really didn't like the result. She cut it like military short though, so I guess that's a little more extreme than you are planning.

I'm the opposite; I'm a guy who wants to grow his hair long, but think that I'll look worse. I always find it hard because there's an awkward stage when growing out my hair that I can never seem to get past, and then a quick stop at the barber's puts me back at square one ... whereas with you, you can make the decision today. I say do it, and then you'll know for sure, one way or the other.

The thing with me is, I keep thinking that if I never really try then I'll be stuck in this perpetual cycle of growing out to an awkward stage and cutting, which probbably makes me look like a bit of a dirtbag. So I'm proud to say that my hair is officially down to eye level with no plans to trim until after Christmas. Inner doubt be damned, this time I'm gonna do it!

Good luck with your decision.

[mercuryrising]

I find women who follow their inner self instead of the status quo to be the most attractive.

[lightthecandle]

ok, SO I CUT MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I absolutely love it! For some reason, I feel a lot more confident =). before, my hair was just a straight cut and reached a little longer than my shoulders. Now, its near the lower end of my neck. I couldn't be happier! I mean its true that most girls look prettier with longer hair, but my cut looks really good since its in Layers everywhere with long bangs, and therefore, its so incredibly bouncy, and feels sooo light and refreshing.

Again, I agree that most girls look more attractive with longer hair (including me), but I love the feeling of not having to hassle with my hair and its easier to manage since its shorter. The only drawback (which I feel) is I feel like it makes my face look a little chubbier (although I am thin, and everyone tells me this is not the case)

I don't care what guys want...and you guys are right...if you feel good..you look good...and I feel great!!!

thanks everyone

[lightthecandle]

Originally Posted by mercuryrising

I find women who follow their inner self instead of the status quo to be the most attractive.

wow, this is wonderful that there are guys out there who feel like this. I feel the same way about guys...but I don't see it in myself.

thanks though, that was nice!

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by lightthecandle

if you feel good..you look good...and I feel great!!!

Then you look great Congratulations! I'm happy for you.

[Holistic Star]

Well done on going for the chop. Glad you feel so good!

You'll have a surprise about how little shampoo you need the next time you wash your hair. I guarentee if you use your normal amount it will look like a washing machine explosion has happened.

[missing]

Originally Posted by lightthecandle

Again, I agree that most girls look more attractive with longer hair (including me), but I love the feeling of not having to hassle with my hair and its easier to manage since its shorter.

well you can still look good with shorter hair, especially if you are younger. Keep in mind that most girls are not lacking in the looks department, but personality is a variable thing. The latter is certainly more valuable. Looking great with a bad personality is like having lots of money and no place to spend it. Eventually the money just becomes worthless pieces of paper. Or something like that.

sounds like you made a good decision and have a clear head about it.

[ThoughtAddict]

Originally Posted by lightthecandle

I don't care what guys want...and you guys are right...if you feel good..you look good...and I feel great!!!

thanks everyone

Whoo! Yay for self-love! Congratulations on the bold, daring, beautiful new look!

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by missing

no woman has ever looked *better* with short hair than long hair.

I've seen several instances, including just a month ago where a woman cut her long hair off and I felt she looked better. A matter of opinion and we can differ on that.

Also, there is no proof that she will attract less shallow men just cause she is "following her heart".

I didn't say anything about shallow vs non-shallow men and it's not a question of that.

Originally Posted by lightthecandle

ok, SO I CUT MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I absolutely love it!

Congrats!!

[The David]

Here's the New-agey, PD-ish way of putting it:

If you don't love yourself with short hair, how can a man?

[glutenfreevegan]

Originally Posted by bluemoon

Cut it! My ex used to be one of those long hair guys... til I cut it and he said it looked better. And he was definitely not lying, bc he had no qualms saying other mean things. My current bf doesn't care.

Besides, it'll grow back!

My husband is (was!) one of those "long hair guys" too. I felt like cutting my hair, and did it, and it looked great. I have brutally honest friends (love 'em that way!), and they all liked it. I've recently grown my hair long and decided I wanted to change the style of the cut - not necessarily short... But my husband and friends tell me to go back to short hair because it looked great! I probably will because I find it's far more enjoyable, light, fun, and easy to maintain.

It's all about getting the right cut that suits you, whether it's long or short - both can look just as good. A good hair stylist is worth paying for at least once if you're uncertain about what suits you. The biggest "attractiveness" influence is always going to be: whatever you enjoy the most will make you look/feel your best!

[Alexjstrandberg]

I love short hair. There's just something about that is unconventional. It's that non mainstream look on women that I find appealing. A bleach blond, long hair model look looks nice but it's not at all the type of girls I date.

On top of that is the girl loving how she looks. Whether it's short or long or dyed as long as the woman loves how she looks she becomes very attractive.

[Rose of Cairo]

I'm feeling like adding something. Since I shaved my head I have guys approach me on the street with no other purpose than to tell me my hairstyle is sexy. In the past I had very beautiful, long, thick hair. Everybody agreed it looked great. However, no guy ever approached me on the street to tell me how sexy my hair was...

I also have people tell me on the street how ugly I look ("A woman with a shaved head, how ugly!"), or ask "That's a woman?". I even have people ask me if others tell me I'm ugly, lol.

When I first cut my hair I thought no man on earth would ever find me attractive this way, but to my great surprise I got asked out more than ever. I was loving my absence of hair so much, it looked like "me" so much, that I guess I just looked confident and happy.

I also noticed that there's a difference between what people find esthetically beautiful (big part of social conditioning in there) and what they find sexy. Some guys say to me that I don't look good but I'm damn sexy this way.

Just wanted to share.

[estudiant9]

Dear lightthecandle,

For the simple reason that you're hesitant about doing it, I say DO IT! Cut it as short as you dare to.

I'm a 22-year-old male who shaved his head about a month ago. I used to have relatively long hair (for a guy). Was very hesitant about it at first, so asked the forum members for advice and was convinced that I wanted to go on with it. Among those who convinced me was Rose of Cairo, who has given you a wonderful insight of her own just above this post:

Should I shave my head?

Perhaps it's even more of an issue for women, but even as a guy, I was very, very attached to having a head full of hair and to looking good in general, being on a college campus full of stunning women and not having had serious dating experiences and wanting some really badly. It sure didn't hurt my ego either when girls would tell me how nice and thick my hair was and asked to touch it, etc.

The question really shouldn't be, "Am I going to be as attractive as I am now with shorter hair?" but "Why am I so attached to having a few extra inches of dead tissues on my head? Is this the kind of dependence I want for myself?" By even bothering to pose a question like this on the forum, you imply that the answer is a resounding "No!"

Like for Rose of Cairo, my experience with a shaved head was a pleasant surprise. As you'd expect, I was self-conscious as hell for the first week or so. I was so sure that everyone was looking at me and thinking, "What's Dalai Lama doing on my campus?" Wore a hat to most public places, tried to crack jokes about why I did it to get rid of nervous tension.

But at one point I just stopped caring. Stopped wearing a hat, stopped searching for disapproving glances. I grudgingly accepted that people will laugh at me, ignore me, etc., and decided to live with that until my hair grew back.

Surprisingly, none of those things happened. Nobody really cared about whatever happened to my hair, and - shocker - girls still found me attractive. In fact, I'm being plenty appreciated by women to a point where I'm hesitant about growing my hair back as planned, for fear that these same girls wouldn't like me anymore once I have a head full of hair! Now I know it just isn't going to be like that, so no more worries.

It's a freeing experience. Just go ahead and do it, I assure you the world won't collapse. Feel free to ask any questions.