Social Skills training

[onomotopeia]

I see that there are many people on this board who are interested in improving their social skills. Such improvement isn't about remedial skills, but finding deeper ways of expression and connection.

I was wondering if anyone would be interested in forming a group to work on these kinds of issues. I have tried to work on these on my own, but without the support of peers in similar situations, I simply become engulfed in rumination.

Let me know if you're interested in anything of the sort.

[Jr Billionaire]

some advice I can give is really be yourself... I know that sounds so lame and cliche but its true.

ask yourself what do I have in common with all the "attractive guys" of the world- I know on first glance you don't see anything but lets take a quick look at whats sexy or attractive to people:

Ambition

Charisma*

Confidence*

Creativity

Empathy*

Health

Humor*

Intelligence

Leadership*

Passion For Something in Life

Popular*

blah blah blah

the list goes on and on and on

ask yourself "when was the last time I told a joke" thats displaying humor "when was the last time I did something I loved"? "When I am doing something I love isn't that showing confidence?" ask yourself...

you see you and a top ten guy have alot of things in common the only difference is that they know they have things that are attractive to people, and you don't (not yet of course) you are already an attractive person you yourself just have to realize it.

when you really get that belief down. I mean really believe that you have something to of value to women then we will move to step two.. pm for step to

sorry if I wrote to much but I what to help an anyway that I can hopefully I sparked something in you

-JB

[Daniel Roach]

Ono, I would definitely be interested in forming a group like that. The fundamental problem with improving your social skills is that you have to be social to do it. This is like saying you can learn to fly by staying off the ground more often; the advice my be correct, it just isn't so straight forward. It would be nice to have a group that could not only give advice and support, but also some conversational practice.

In short, I'm in. Anyone else?

[hugofortin]

Hi everyone,

I think to make a group like this it make sense. I'm in, too. Sometime, to go toward strangers you have to make the first step. This first step is always the harder to do.

bye

Hugo

[Rockchick26]

You mean a real life group where we actually meet in person? How will that be possible when we live all over the world?

[The David]

I assume he meant an online group. I'm not sure what that would accomplish. The best way to figure that out is to do it.

[Daniel Becerra]

There are plenty of forums dedicated to that specific area. Also, there are blogs on that specifically, specially dating. Be careful on what you read though.

What specifics in your social life would you like to work on? Become more attractive? Meeting more people? Social Networking? Getting yourself more known? Girlfriend/Boyfriend? More friends? Like anything else, you got to become specific. Also, like anything else, in order to attract certain type of people, you must become similar.

The biggest cliche in dating is "Opposites attract". That's very far from the truth. You're more likely to date and enjoy someone who has many similarities with and the differences that you find can be used to spice up the whole relationship and get to know each other all over again.

There are plenty of cliches, but knowing is not enough, although it helps to recognize a falsehood first. Do your research, if not PM me, I know an excellent source.

[oBakasan]

The idea sounds interesting, but what does it entail?

I'd be interested in joining as well, but the obvious question arises: what next?`

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by onomotopeia

I was wondering if anyone would be interested in forming a group to work on these kinds of issues.

I may be.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Daniel Becerra

What specifics in your social life would you like to work on? Become more attractive? Meeting more people? Social Networking? Getting yourself more known? Girlfriend/Boyfriend? More friends? Like anything else, you got to become specific.

Well i think they all go together,to be good at one is to be good at them all. Or you suck at all of them LOL

The biggest cliche in dating is "Opposites attract". That's very far from the truth. You're more likely to date and enjoy someone who has many similarities with and the differences that you find can be used to spice up the whole relationship and get to know each other all over again.

I totally agree that opposites do NOT attract. The only grain of truth to that is when you make up for what each other lacks,like if someone who loves to clean moved in with someone who hates to clean,well then,the problem is solved! But two people who both hate to clean,that would be bad!

[Daniel Becerra]

RockerChick,

I disagree with your first observation(peacefully, that is ). To be good at one of them is not good at being good at all of them. How many people do you find attractive, yet they are not able to establish any sexual tension?

It's relatively easy to network in a business meeting (and you can be really good at it), but does that mean you will be good at getting a girlfriend out of it? Of course not.

On the other hand, there could be a guy really good at sleeping with many girls, but they don't have many real friends. True or not?

This goes to prove that if you're good in one doesn't mean that you're good in all of them.

However, one of them may serve of basis for the other ones (actually, they are necessary). For instance, your level of attractiviness (whether it's based looks, self-image, or personality) will enhance your networking skills, as well as amplify (NOT define) the chances of getting a good looking girlfriend (or in your case boyfriend).

In order to really improve one's social skills, it's imperative that one becomes aware about what each level entails; yes, it is imperative.

I will say this though, there is ONE common element that appeals to all cases of social skills and no, it's not confidence (confidence is only part of it). The ONE element that appeals to anything from social networking to friends to seduction is INTRIGUE.

... I'm done there, because I refuse to give a lesson here. Though, you're encouraged to think about why INTRIGUE is so powerful.

[Rockchick26]

Originally Posted by Daniel Becerra

RockerChick,

I disagree with your first observation(peacefully, that is ). To be good at one of them is not good at being good at all of them. How many people do you find attractive, yet they are not able to establish any sexual tension?

It's relatively easy to network in a business meeting (and you can be really good at it), but does that mean you will be good at getting a girlfriend out of it? Of course not.

On the other hand, there could be a guy really good at sleeping with many girls, but they don't have many real friends. True or not?

Yeah i guess what i said was kinda harsh...i'm sure there are many exceptions. I tend to generalize

However, one of them may serve of basis for the other ones (actually, they are necessary). For instance, your level of attractiviness (whether it's based looks, self-image, or personality) will enhance your networking skills, as well as amplify (NOT define) the chances of getting a good looking girlfriend (or in your case boyfriend).

I understand completely! That would explain why i have only had one boyfriend because i suck at talking and i'm not the prettiest girl on the block,either And since i can't change my looks,i guess i'll have to change the other part.

I will say this though, there is ONE common element that appeals to all cases of social skills and no, it's not confidence (confidence is only part of it). The ONE element that appeals to anything from social networking to friends to seduction is INTRIGUE.

But i dont think intrigue is something you either have or you don't,i think its a matter of the other person's opinion. I could have intrigue to you but not to the next guy.

.