parental human instinct and relationships... help!

[seo1]

I'm starting to scare myself a little bit.

I've met someone who I really feel a strong connection with on many levels of compatibility. I feel like we have developed a strong relationship over the time that we have known eachother. I have never felt so comfortable with anyone as I do with her.

However, I'm only 20 and I'm starting to feel some sort of parental instinct towards this woman (she's 27). I can't stop thinking about having babies with her and I have this strong urge to create space, make babies and provide for a family. When I see her around young children I can't stop thinking about what a wonderful mother and life partner she would make. These are very serious thoughts but I can't help having them.

These feelings strongly diverge from where I need to be and what I want to be working towards in my life(finishing college, grad school, becoming a professional etc.)

Is this just a natural intinct or the result of some subconscious desire to provide for what I felt was missing from my life as a child?

I have my head on straight but I don't know where these thoughts are coming from.

Anyone else ever experience something similar?

[funchy]

How does she feel about being settled down and having kids? Is it possible this is something she's yearning for and you're keying in on this? Perhaps you're falling for her and you want to make her happy (and you think this is what will make her truly happy)?

Have you talked to her about your feelings?

How serious is the relationship you're having with her?

[seo1]

She wants to settle down and have kids at some point but only with the right person. At 27 she feels as though her biological clock is ticking.

I do believe this is something she is yearning for but it's also something that I want very much with the right person but also at the right time. At this point I feel as though I am much too young to be thinking about starting a family.

It is something we both want. Surprisingly, our age difference doesn't seem to deter one another. We want a family with eachother.

We both had the same feelings but were afraid of the other would not feel the same. We brought up the conversation a while ago and found that the feeling was in fact mutual.

Our relationship feels very natural and is becoming increasingly serious. It was one of those relationships where you felt as though you'd known this person your entire life upon first meeting. It's something incredible that most people never encounter.

[silicon toad2000]

I've been accused of looking at the whole kids thing from too much of an analytical viewpoint.
In my mind you really need to sit down and have a good long think about this. Firstly will you be able to provide for them and it aint cheap. Secondly can you see yourselves when you're both old, wrinkly and smell of linament still being together?
I find the problem with a lot of people is that they think that tey want to have kids, but tey are putting the cart before the horse, kids should only ever be a by product of a loving relationship, at least you seem to have the horses before the cart, good work.
Put yourself some years into the future, say it all goes ahead and somthing goes terribly wrong, finacially, emotionally, whatever... can you justify your decision to your as yet unborn child.
something will go wrong at some stage and the last thing you need to be doing is second guessing your past decisions.

[sixx1984]

I think your feelings are very natural. You are only human after all. It is a natural human instinct to to want a family with the person you love. And I don't believe that you are necessarily too young to do this - everyone becomes emotionally ready at different ages.

However, I think it is very important to wait until the circumstances are more favorable to have children. You must think about what is best for the child - there is no point having children if you cannot provide for them. You really need to be financially stable and settled with your partner in a suitable property.

It is important to do what you want to in life first - finish grad school, becoming professional etc... If you don't, you may regret it later and end up resenting your children. Do it for your future children. Being successful in you chosen chosen career is something your future children may admire you for and they may look up to you and strive to be like you. That, in my opinion, is worth waiting for.

[cylon]

We are here to procreate. This is extremely normal and natural. Biologically you are doing what a man naturally does: seeing if the woman would be a good candidate for someone to bear and raise his children. If she would be a good mom. Don't forget there's a reason for sex, and that is BABIES (Yay!).

Realize that your other goals and dreams have nothing on thousands and thousands of years of evolution. This is all new stuff in the scheme of things. We're only supposed to hook up and have kids and survive. Our quality of life has made other options seem more important since basic survival is something we more or less take for granted, and don't think about.

So go on about your life, just accept that this is normal, and whatever you do, don't be pressured into actually having kids with her.