communication & relationships

[straysweeper]

This area is a known bottleneck in my life for me. I've gotten to the point where I wishing for a life of that of a hermit. I find myself prefering emai and text compared to talking, avoiding confrontations etc. However, I know this comes from my fear of rejection and a lack of assertiveness in my dealings with other people.

How can I and those like me bridge this weakness once and for all?

[garentee]

I have always been a pretty social person... what helped me with shyness etc was when I started working with the public on a semi regular basis. THe more you speak to people the more comfortable you are. Realize that they may be just a shy as you.

[kabe65]

I've always been a bit of the reclusive type myself. I don't know if "social anxiety" is the right term, but it certainly comes to mind. I don't usually like to talk on the phone and I've never been a great initiator, but those are areas I recognize as really needing to improve. I still have trouble just picking up the phone and calling people at random, it's like I need a genuine reason to call someone and not just for the heck of it. I need to practice this, but, when I'm feeling disconnected and lonely, just pick up the phone and call someone. It might be a "guy" thing or something, but I really have a hard time doing that. Knowing that I need to connect with people better, I recently decided to borrow an idea from this website, I'm going to join a Toastmasters club. In fact I went to a meeting last night to see what it was like, and it certainly seems like something that could help me/people like me out.

I also got some good advice from a friend a while back, I still haven't really used it yet though, but it is relevant. She told me just to talk to anybody and everybody you come into contact with. Especially when you're in a situation that deals with whatever it is you like or sparks your interest. Just start talking with people around you. There's a lot of people out there, so sure some might think you're a weirdo, but others might think you're the coolest person in the world, and bam, you've connected. I know I need to practice that more often, but I know my friend is right. Like if I'm swimming, I should just start chatting with the person in the lane next to me, or like if I'm sharing one. I mean obviously we've already got something in common if we're both in a pool, and there's a potential conversation/new connection.

[Chris Cade]

Short flippant yet serious answer: Read Steve's book. One of the exercises uses introversion/rejection as an example.