Should I shave my head?

[estudiant9]

Hi, this doesn't neatly fall within any one category but...here it goes.

I've always thought it'd be kind of cool to completely shave my head. Not as a daily thing, but just to do it and see what it feels like.
I know that shaving one's head can be symbolic of new beginnings, resolution, etc, particularly in East Asia where many Buddhist monks have shaven heads as a sign of asceticism and discipline.

Here's my problem: I've always wanted to do well in school, be productive with my time, be a hard worker, be on the success track. I want to be good at doing school to a point where I can juggle my academic responsibilities and a social life. The fact is that both aspects of my life are down in the dumps at the moment. I have a 2.47 GPA (would be lower but for some slack courses during summer school), probably will finish this semester at about the same level barring some dramatic improvements. As far as social life, without exaggeration I can say that I have one friend (who is a borderline acquaintance). Never had a girlfriend. I'm a 22-year-old junior in college (dropped out of/switched schools a couple times).

I've always given so easily to distractions. Internet (a BIG one), movies, TV shows, self-help books, people-watching in the library, ping pong, even part-time jobs (which I to my dismay often turn to as an excuse for lack of quality study time). Most of these are solitary activities, so it's not like I'm at least training to be a social magnet at the expense of grades.

I have about 7 weeks left this semester. I want to use this time to approach my academic work with reckless abandon and completely change my study habits, and totally focus on getting my academic life on track, which would be the foundation for every other area of my life. Use the Overwhelming Force, as Mr. Pavlina would put it. By doing something drastic (for me) like shaving my head and having that be a daily reminder of what I want to achieve, I'm hoping to create habits that will stick, for a change. Because this is a big change I'm talking about, for someone who barely has had two full productive days in his entire life.

Here's my hesitation: I realize how much attachment I have to having my hair, or having good, socially approved looks. At the risk of sounding like an idiot, I'm considered quite a head-turner, and very attractive girls who have never spoken a word to me aggressively approach me all the time on campus purely based on my looks. I've head comments on how nice and thick my hair is, both from girls and straight guys. Imagine how desperately and happily my ego jumps on this kind of attention when it has basically nothing else! I actually tend to be quite awkward and shy in new and familiar situations, and have had longstanding issues with anxiety and being paranoid (again, probably why I've never had a girlfriend at 22, going on 23 fast).

Shaving my head will greatly diminish my attractiveness, to say the least. I actually look pretty funny even with short hair, because I have a weird shaped head which can masked when my hair is medium length or longer. I know for sure that my self-esteem is going to nosedive for quite some time. My fear is that while I'm working on my academics. I'll probably miss lots and lots of opportunities to improve my social life (which I consider second in importance to academics, but also VERY important) during this pretty critical period of my life, college. I'm only going to be here for another year or so, and 2 months is a LONG time in a college timetable whether you have 6 months or 4 years left. I'm just about to hit it off with a couple girls as well, and again, I want to create something here before it's too late.

I know this all could sound incredibly silly, but anyway...If I'm going to do it, I'm going to do it this coming Sunday. My question in short is, in attempting to get my academic life on track and create a future for myself, am I just distracting myself by going through the fuss of changing my physical features and putting myself through needless and silly worries? Or do you think this is a legitimate and potentially effective way to go about a significant life change?

Thank you very much.

[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by estudiant9

Shaving my head will greatly diminish my attractiveness, to say the least. (...) I know for sure that my self-esteem is going to nosedive for quite some time.

I live with a shaved head as you can see here. It for sure diminishes my attractiveness greatly (although a few guys find that totally sexy. But most of them find it just plain ugly, or weird, or unfeminine). However, my self-esteem is doing great. The point is that my self-esteem has nothing to do with how attractive others find me.

My question in short is, in attempting to get my academic life on track and create a future for myself, am I just distracting myself by going through the fuss of changing my physical features and putting myself through needless and silly worries? Or do you think this is a legitimate and potentially effective way to go about a significant life change?

Whether shaving your head is just distracting yourself or an important symbolic move in your development, that's a question only you can answer. It's up to you to decide what shaving your head means to you. If you think it's an effective way to show to yourself that you're making big changes, then it is so.

And worrying about what others think about your shaved head is, too, your decision. You can choose to spend energy on needless and silly worries and make your self-esteem dependent on how attractive others find you - or you can choose that your self-esteem does not depend on external factors.

Like our friend Jim would say, it's up to you

[Lauxa]

Dear estudiant,

Shaving your head does not matter, what matters is changing your thought patterns in such a way that your focus is consistently on what you want. It sounds like you have some very negative thoughts associated with shaving your head, almost like you are punishing yourself or trying to force yourself to change. Maybe this could work or maybe you will be generating resistance and blocking your flow.

Personally, I have shaved my head twice down to 1/8" and found it to be very liberating both times.

[Steliana]

No, don't shave it...

[robc]

it will grow back (hopefully) and bald/shaved heads are in fashion wise - what's the worst that could happen?

[funchy]

Repeat this to yourself: it's only hair. It's only hair. It will grow back.

This is the time in your life when you can (and should and must) experiment, try on new ideas, and do crazy things. Those who don't turn into adults with regrets.

The worst that can happen is you have to wear a wig for a few months. But I don't think it's a big deal.

It'll be interesting to see how people treat you differently. Focus on it as an experiment, not worrying "did I make a mistake? do I look foolish?". It will be interesting to see which girls ignore you and which ones find you more approachable. Maybe it's a good thing to weed out the girls who only like you for your pretty hair?

Go for it!

[Jim11]

Hair is not worth all this thought and effort. You can focus on your academics without a change in hairstyle I'm sure.

Perhaps it's not a bad idea to just go in and shave it off though. It will probably help you break the attachment you have to your current image.

[backpocket]

Don't think it would change your behaviour much, but it would change your bathing pattern though (no shampooing necessary). Socially, it could change people's perception of you, but remember that what they think of you has absolutely nothing to do with you.

And some girls do find bald men hot, so it could work to your favour.

[Liza Red]

Shave it off. If you don't like your new look then grow your hair back.

[Steliana]

And some girls do find bald men hot, so it could work to your favour.[/QUOTE]

And some girls don't find that attractive at all...
I think you need to feel confident and strong first before doing something like that... If you already know that this would lower your confidence than don't do it... do something else that would lift you up...

[estudiant9]

I shaved my head this afternoon. It's not so bad, I'll see how I feel about it when I get back to school tomorrow. All of you who told me basically that I should learn to develop an identity independent of my appearance, really helped me out, as well as funchy's advice to use this period of my life as a chance to experiment.

Thank you so much for your input each and every one of you. I read them all carefully and really appreciate your helping me out.

[Rose of Cairo]

Congratulations ...from one baldhead to another baldhead

Let us know how you feel at school and how things are going for you!

[catalyst]

I shaved my head not long ago.. It took me a long time to get used to it, and get over that anxiety. In the end, I think it makes me feel more exposed yet stronger. I realize I've been so vain all my life.

I am who I am, and as you are. Our appearance can only carry us so far in life - like everything with form, it deteriorates with time. Only our essence and our spirit will survive.

Congratulations on taking a step to conquering one of your fears.