She's cheating on me - please, I need an advice!

[Javelinkid216]

im 12 and using my bro's account and my girlfriend hit me in the balls yesterday i asked her why and then she said her mates said i fancied some other girl but they always lie and then they told her it was a joke and she said sorry and today were back together

[kkase]

still seeing her from time to time, she still finds ways to depress me

Be honest with yourself. These are both lies.
You are not still seeing her from time to time, SHE is still seeing YOU. .. and
SHE IS NOT still finding ways to depress you, YOU are still making yourself depressed.

Still thinking of her is normal, you will have to go through that for a while longer. But the length of time is going to be much much longer untill you begin NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER with her.

There is someone BETTER for you out there. You just have to make yourself better before you're able to have her.

Let me ask you something. If you had a brother, or a son, or a close personal life long friend that's a guy and he was going through this with someone, would you tell him to do what you're doing?

[robc]

Originally Posted by Carl Rogers

Hello Alex,

I just ran across your thread and have read much of what others have said. My conclusion is that you are a relationship addict (I am saying this without judgement). I am a Master's level counseling student, and from what I learned in my adddiction class, you are meeting the definition of an addicted person. There are three characteristics that are needed for a behavior--smoking, drinking, gambling, relationships, etc.--to be an addiction: 1) harm is caused to self, 2) apparent lack of control, and 3) engage in behavior to improve mood or feelings. I think that you might want to consider seeing a counselor who can help you further explore your feelings, past history with relationships, actions, and anything else that is bothering you. A counselor, unlike internet blogs, won't give you advice but will help you explore yourself, your strengths, your resources, and so on.

Peace,
Carl Rogers

...."Engage in behavior to improve mood or feelings."
What is wrong with engaging in a behavior to improve your mood or feelings.
There is a wide range of behaviors that can accomplish this task and I would consider them all healthy: going out with friends, going to a gym, cleaning up your diet, talking to a counsellor or therapist, reading advice from a personal development website, believing in yourself and improving your self-esteem, etc.

Carl, maybe you meant to say more about point #3, possibly a specific kind of behavior that is largely negative and self-defeating. In general people should do things & engage in behaviors/processes that improve their mood & feelings especially when someone is depressed or hurt. Those people that actually can get out from underneath the rock they've found themselves pinned under and learn to take care of themselves and improve themselves and feel better about their life are doing a good thing.

When you get a chance, maybe you can go into further detail on point #3, I love hearing from people who study human nature and have a background in it.

thx...rob

[PerDev]

I think you have to dare and ask straight forwords and tell what is in your mind and heart with good language and then see the reply ..

If you are not comfortable then get rid of it as soon as possible

[Perfect Sunday]

Originally Posted by Javelinkid216

im 12 and using my bro's account and my girlfriend hit me in the balls yesterday i asked her why and then she said her mates said i fancied some other girl but they always lie and then they told her it was a joke and she said sorry and today were back together

Most. Insightful. Post. Ever.

[engineerIT]

When I started to read this post, SHE was 21 now she 23 I think :?
I was surprised that this post was sooooooo long and in over 2 years.
I tried to read all repies but I couldn't.
From my experience:
1. Younger girl never are balanced, they always consider relationships a way to appear agains their friends or just for funny, to enjoy the life.
2. The older girl (I like them so much, I like their mature) are more smart, and morally and they know how to respect you etc....
3. As long as I'm still young (21) I have to bear with these younger girls who gets in my nerves everytime, it's so hard to make a strong relationship with them. They just one morning say "YES" and the next day they say "NO"
I can not understand them !!!
But I'm an Machiavelist (maybe I look a bit strange here) try always to stay honest to my GOALS, which and the most important is to be HAPPY
I like so much to be in love to be loved (It's the best feeling a girl/boy can ever feel) but when say sometimes "NO" and sometimes "YES" it mean that they don't deserve me or they are just so stupid to deserve me and it's not my fault. And I won't make SUICIDE in no way for anything in this world (When I won't be anymore, it doesn't matter if this fu***ng world exist anymore for more does it?????)
Soo, take care !!

"How I try to be needed" (you must learn to be needed or no one will want you, even you family)
1. Try to find to explore how does these little girls' minds works, mean read psychology Alex, philosophy (it doesn't matter if it's not you proffesion, believe me, even I stydu engineering (electronics) I found very useful reading something more about how the human mind workd )
2. If you really love her, try to find out what she want more.
3. It doesn't matter what you feel, as long as you don't show it to SHE (you must never be weak, she just a little girl she need you strong, smart even she hurt you)
4. I never get ruled by my heart (of course I respect me felling), I try everytme to cogigate until I find the answer. It may takes long time but over the time goes on you get faster and faster

Now I wish you the best and I'm gonna sleep
I have to study a lot tomorrow :S ( I have exams )
________________________________________
The reason why I am here is:
I found a wonderful girl but as I state before she's just a little girl and sometimes she makes mistakes, but I try to teach her any way I can. I'm glad she listen to me. To be honest I love her so much
I'm working hard :S, and I know that I must still works hard for a couple of years to make it MINE for all my life.

[rho]

Originally Posted by Perfect Sunday

Most. Insightful. Post. Ever.

This post made my day.

[BoyInBlue]

It's always darkest before the dawn...

Things will get better, they always do.

Two and a half years ago, i spilt with my gf of 6 years in similar circumstances, things seemed bad, but i picked myself up. Now, i'm engaged to a woman that's 1000x better than my ex, we are to be married in the coming 12 months.