Very Uncomfortable Going to Social Events

[srujacobs]

I know this is a common problem. I live in NYC and I'd like to get out more to parties/shows/etc. I just always feel stuck in one corner or uncomfortable at events. Every time I get ready or think of going somewhere, I get this massive wave of dread, like "oh my god I have to face all of these strangers." Other than drinking, what can I do to erase this dread? I want to WANT to go out more.

[Pace]

Here's my advice, but I'll warn you right now that you're not going to like it. (:

Make a fool of yourself.

Next time you're out with a bunch of people, pick a random person, go up to them, and make a total ass of yourself. Introduce yourself, then talk about something annoying, like politics, or what you had for breakfast, or what your favorite breed of cat is.

Most likely, they will awkwardly end the conversation as soon as possible and avoid you afterwards.

That's usually as bad as it gets. It's really not dreadful. It doesn't have to be panic-inducing. It usually doesn't get much worse than a little awkward and uncomfortable.

Practice making a fool of yourself on purpose, and I bet you'll find your confidence level rising each time. You'll know how it feels, so you won't be so afraid of doing it by accident. (;

Best of luck to you! Being social is really fun and awesome once you get the hang of it! I know you can do it! (:

[mattpd]

It sounds like you are suffering from some major social anxiety.

I really recommend doing neurofeedback. Do a google on it, its probably available in your area. This will train your mind to deal with anxiety and stress, and increase your ability to hold your mental state in pressure situations, and for extended periods.

People always comment how relaxed I appear in the field. I think this comes down to how much I value relaxation in my life, and how by constantly pushing myself into more stressful situations I began to build a tolerance for it.

Personally I love Bikram Yoga, its the hot yoga, and this tends to relax me and forces me to stretch intensely, and this has massively increased my ability to cope with stress, and pressure, and all that kind of stuff.