How To Have More Friends

[raphnix]

Please feel free to posts your suggestions and tips that you proved to be effective in gaining more friends in your life.

Me, I'm always modest to all people I meet so they can be comfortable talking with you. I also try to listen more when we're newly acquainted with somebody.

I also always show positive attitude to make more encouragement.

[Parthon]

I naturally tend to be honest, open, engaging and genuine. It seems to work. People like me just for being me, it's great.

[TonyToneTone]

I like both of your guys' posts.

I just try to genuinely be interested in people and to have a good lighthearded sense of humor.

[Jamie]

Is it better to have more friends? Or to deepen the existing friendships we do have?

If someone is a real friend, you shouldn't have to try, that person will like and accept you as you are.

I'd rather have 1 true friend, than 100's of people I assosiate with and call 'friend'.

[AnotherSon]

Yea, honesty, modesty, and being genuine are solid values for anyone who wants to have more friends. the danger is if you're actively looking for more/new friends that you may come across needy, or desperate which can leave you at the whim of others...getting perspective on any situation by reminding yourself that life circumstances are always changing and therefore its all the more important to be true your values such as the ones above, and not be constantly changing as yor circumstances do! Guess I'm sayin just believe in yourself and not be totally reliant on others to give you approval. Make sense!?

[Anand Dhillon]

You can build your social fairly systematically if you want to. This method is especially good if you've recently moved to a new city where you don't know anyone.

-go to places where there are people with similar interests to you
-meet at least 5 new people a day (35 people a week)
-invite all the people you met during the week to go out on the weekend and tell them to bring their friends. About 10 people will likely show up. Act as the social hub and introduce people to each other. In the end, you will probably really connect with 2-3 of these people.
-repeat for a month or two. At the end of this, you will have 10-15 people you really connect with (these will turn into deeper friendships over time) and a hundred acquaintances

A couple of other pointers at the beginning:
-be the person who organizes events and invites people out
-say yes to invitations from others

[sgregory]

I learned what I needed to know back in the summer after 11th grade. The book by Dale Carnegie, the classic "How to win friends and influence people". There are also more modern books with more detail out there, too.

[Eisho]

It isn't original, but take an interest in what other people are interested in. You don't have to go over the top, but just demonstrate that you are interested in who they are and what they have to say and make it clear you accept them for who they are. This will help them relax and open up to you more.

Cheers,

Eisho

[raphnix]

I discovered that some people will naturally like you or remember you if you said something good about him/her. So an appropriate compliments would do good.

[sixx1984]

I always try to be open and honest with people. I try to be nice and genuinely interested in them.

It's also important to be comfortable with yourself and who you are. This is very difficult for some people, but if you don't like you - how can others? Love yourself first, and others will follow.

I think you also have to be around the right sort of people - people that are "like" you, people who have similar interests or even just a similar attitude to life. I have very close friends who I have no common interests with, but we have very similar values and this is what connects us.

And as other people said - it's important to put in a lot of effort as well. If you're not often contacting people to do things, they soon forget about you. Out of sight out of mind. But once you've established a close group of friends, you will always be remembered.

[Breaker]

Well, it really depends if your talking about true friends or just friends in generel

Getting friends is extremely easy, getting true friends is probably one of the hardest things in the world. I truely believe you dont get more than 1-3 true friends in your entire lifetime. but thats just me (:

Step one to getting more friends is; Meet more people! Naturally the more people you meet, the more interesting people with interests that mathces your own you will find.

Other than that, then whats allready been said about being genuine and somehwat modest (even though if thats not part of your personality, its not that important) and most important of all you just need to feel comfortable around other people so that you allow yourself BEING you! Makes sence?

Something that would probably help too would be so sit yourself down and write down the qualities your looking for in a friend, this is something that works supprisingly well concerning attracting women and probably works with guys too.
Reason for this is that if you know what your looking for, on a subconcious basis you'll be qualifying the people around you to match thoose qualities and when someone qualifies to you they actually invests in you, the more they invest the better. Though ofcourse it should be a two way deal..

Anyway, good luck with meeting new friends champ (:

\\Breaker


EDIT: Naturally honesty is a huge thing aswell, to me integrity is one of the biggest qualities i look for in people around me

[akky]

alright, one way to get new friends ( and let me tell you this works 100%) is to polarize. Not fear based, but love. Realise how much value you are going to bring to those people. i went through a stage where due to circumstances my relationship with my closest friends almost got to a zero. One left and one just pretty much stopped talking to me. I went from being popular to almost nobody.
Now, however not even two years on, after countless failures to get friends and losing them when i got them i have reached a stage where i get them almost effortlessly.
why?
becuase i polarize and i pretend my life is moving with momentum in a positive way.
I needed a way out of my relationship misery (started in my second last year of school, so you can imagine how bad it was) and the secret fell into my lap. Soon good old stevie p's subjective reality et al provided me with enough information and strength to get out of it.
I am giving you a tried and tested method from someone who has been through some tough times recently relating to this, so i know exactly how you feel.
Being positive and believing its going to work is very important while you channel those positive emotions and visualize what you want. i visualize for not more than 1 minute or two at most. I jsut let the universe know what i want clearly, believe and trust, and feel.
It works, believe me. i've jsut given you a shortcut to happiness my friends.

The steps are:
1. Channel out your energy to people around you (everyone and anyone values your friendship, trust me on that). Do this as often as possible.
2. Believe it's gonna work from your heart.
3. STAY POSITIVE AND HAPPY THROUGHOUT.

I tried to get close to my current friends for almost a year without much success. i lived a life as a pretty sad kid which is unlike me. luckily i had a few people who kept me going but at times it was very bad. Now, i have EVERYONE. how long did it take? that depends on you and your beliefs. FOr me, BARELY A LONG WEEKEND. went to school on monday and it was as though i was always a part of the gang.
Enjoy yourself

[DayInTheLife]

Read the book How to Talk to People by Leil Lowndes

Anyone can learn a lot from that book

[raphnix]

Thanks for sharing this idea. I also find reading self-help or self-development books beneficial to make good views about life.

[Hot Alpha Female]

Originally Posted by Jamie

Is it better to have more friends? Or to deepen the existing friendships we do have?

If someone is a real friend, you shouldn't have to try, that person will like and accept you as you are.

I'd rather have 1 true friend, than 100's of people I assosiate with and call 'friend'.

Jamie thats a really interesting question.

For me I would rather have a smaller group of friends who i know very well where we can support, challenge and grow together because we have similar life goals and aspirations rather than 1000 friends who all know and like me but don't connect with me on that level.

But the universe is abundant, so who is to say that you CAN"T have 100-200 friends that know you like the back of your hand?

One could say that it takes time to develop deep relationships. I personally think that friendships can blossom in a second and can last a lifetime.

You are the people you hang around. So its very important to choose friends that love, support and inspire you no matter what.

[Buttercat Apocalypse]

Ask: How can I express myself?

What's interesting about him or her? (How can he or she express him/herself to me?)

How can he/she help me?

How can I help him or her?