Inferiority Complex

[jman1982]

What's up everyone,

I am very delighted to have found this forum. I must say that I am starting to become more and more used to this blogging thing. I am new to this sort of thing, but I anticipate getting a lot of value from the insight of others.

Here is my comment and if anyone can relate please enlighten me. I read a lot of self-help stuff on tapping into the giant within, so on and so on. But I am having a real hard time convincing that something is really there. I am a young guy (24) and I work with a ton of energetic people who seem to have the conversation piece down. I really need some advice on how I can be more confident in myself and overcome the inferiority complex at work (I will be dealing with high networth clients) and at play.

Thanks for any advice !!!

[openeyes]

If conversation/speech is one of the main areas you wish to work on, Toastmasters is excellent, with everyone ready to be supportive and provide advice. With most any area, experience and skill breed confidence, and by starting off with groups such as Toastmasters where there is little to no risk in making mistakes, you can then move more boldly into real world interactions.

[Isis Kali]

One thing that you can do is study the lives of people you admire. You'll find that a lot of them started out on the bottom, and worked thier way to the top. Things like that will make it clear that you're just fine going on the path that you're headed down.

[Colm OReilly]

With most any area, experience and skill breed confidence

I'd add a caveat here, you have to acknowledge your wins and let them influence your confidence, otherwise all the external things you do ill only maks your lack of confidence, and not rectify the problem.

I've known people who should be confident given all their external validation (cars, good job, girlfriend, etc) but still are very insecure. If anything they're more insecure as a result because they fear losing these things which give them a sense of validation.

On the flip side, some of the most confident people I've ever known were confident before their business took off and they found the girl they dreamed of. Then the success came.

Jman,

What does confidence mean to you? What does it feel like? What can you do with confidence you can't do without? The more detailed and specific you are with your answer for you the better.

Also, check out my blog, which has some great insights into confidence and links to other confidence blogs. Of course, I'd recommend coaching as well

Lots of love,
Colm

[Healthyfit]

I agree with the toastmasters suggestion. I was a member for a year and it helped me to overcome anxiety of speaking in front of large audiences and the awkwardness I felt when I had to speak to the senior level execs in my organization.

I also just started keeping a gratitude journal. This helps me to remain positive and maintain my confidence.

[jman1982]

Hey,

Thanks everyone for your input. I really did not know what to expect with this site, but the feed back has been great.

[C33]

I bought self hypnosis cds and it really helps. They are by Paul McKenna. One book and cd is called Instant Self Confidence.

[mattsonn]

"I read a lot of self-help stuff on tapping into the giant within, so on and so on. But I am having a real hard time convincing that something is really there."


I can definitely relate to that. I'm not sure how, but I know that I've felt that too before. In all honesty, I don't think you want it deep down enough yet. You know that you want to get better at this stuff, but it just hasn't sunken in deep enough yet. So let me ask you something: is there anything that you've been passionate about before? Do you remember how you got to be that passionate about it? And do you think that you could go through the same sort of process to make yourself passionate about what you have to do at work?

When I was younger I dreaded doing anything athletic. It wasn't fun and I had no talent. But participating in high school sports awoke my passion for it. Now, the idea of me dreading running mile after mile is laughable. I don't have to worry about whether the 'giant' within me for sports is there, because I know all too well how permanently that giant has been installed. Hopefully I will one day be able to repeat the process for my work as well...