Fun Ways to Start Conversations with People (especially the opposite sex)

[Fullcrum]

Post 'em up over here. YOUR favorite, self-amusing ways to get outside your head and communicate and have fun with other people. Specifically, the opening, the beginning, the start of the interaction.

Here's some of mine:

- Speak mock French or German to them while walking up and looking intently in their eyes until they realize what I'm doing. This is extremely funny to me.

- I put my arms around two (or more) girls (or girls and guys) and start singing whatever song comes to mind. Last time I did this I sang "Close to the Edge" by Yes (Trippy ass progressive rock lyrics. Sun worship deluxe).

- "Hey, c'mmere! c'mmere! Oi! Wait!" "Hey, you're a true cutie, I had to meet you."

These are some of my funnier and more recent ones. If you want to know how I do this, I always look the person in the eye as if I was looking at a rock or a tree or any other random regular object. As in no "fluctuating" of eye contact. I almost look past the person I'm interacting with in the beginning - my eyes aren't nervously darting everywhere. I think the effect is calming.

My voice tone is usually somewhat breaking rapport, like my tonality is going down (like a command or exclamatory sentence) not going up (like a question). If you can visualize someone saying "Hey! What is this!?" but with a smile, that's basically me.

I hope this paints a good portrait of how I do things and you guys should post up your fun adventures, too!

[Plato]

"Buy me a drink!"

(a lime and soda, thanks )

"Hey, did you invite all these people? I thought it was just going to be the two of us."

Are two canned lines that I find particularly amusing.

Any rubbish that comes into my mind will do though!

[Fullcrum]

Exactly, any rubbish will do. I just want to be amused by the best you guys can come up with. Maybe describe situations where this stuff spontaneously arose and the impact it had.

[forynav]

This is how I met the girl that I'm getting over:

"Hey... um... u got something in ur nose..."

"Oh! It's just a nose-ring. Man, the last time I saw that was on my granny."

"Look what u did! I'm homesick now. You gotta pay for that. Recommend me what's the best looking phone among these......"

And so on...

[mattpd]

Cool ideas!

I use eye contact a lot.

I try to get as far as I can with just eye contact and facial expressions.

Its almost like delaying the whole process, making her laugh or smile, or building tension non-verbally.

Its actually a bit tricky, walking up to someone and waiting a while to begin talking. There is a risk if done wrong you can come across as weird or creepy, but I don't really have that issue.

Even a wink can be cool

[Plato]

Originally Posted by Fullcrum

Exactly, any rubbish will do. I just want to be amused by the best you guys can come up with. Maybe describe situations where this stuff spontaneously arose and the impact it had.

It's difficult. I can never remember things I've said when I'm "in the zone"... However I can remember EVERYTHING I've said during times when I've been stuck in my head!

Like tonight I had the people I was with laughing all the time but screw me if I know what I said! And it only makes sense in specific contexts with so many factors contributing that you really had to be there. Tonight we were talking about the gore and violence in Mel Gibson films (passion of the christ, braveheart, apocalypto etc ) and I said something along the lines of "yeah, Mel Gibson films are seriously stomach turning ... especially What Women Want." It was really funny at the time, but without the sense of the conversation and the mood it falls flat.

Anyway, I'll try and remember some worthy stories, gimme a bit.

[Anand Dhillon]

"Hey! You're cute. I wanted to come meet you."

Pick a random word and repeat ad nauseum while they look confused and eventually burst out laughing. Then introduce yourself.

Make eye contact and stick your tongue out at her like a little kid. She will usually do it back. At which point I get mad at her and challenge her to a fight while trash talking about how she is going down.

Tell her that she is your girlfriend for the next 5 minutes.

Look at a random object in the environment and start talking about it like it's the most awesome thing in the world - be passionate about the wall, the stool, the air etc.

Talk to all the people in the environment except the girl you are interested and tell them that you are about to hit on this girl and you want them to watch. It's a bonus if you get rejected and they all see because then you have more concrete proof that rejection doesn't matter.

Gibberish is always a winner.

[marklang500]

From my single days....

The trick is to reinvent yourself from "stranger" to "non-stranger" in as few moves as possible.

I would come up with a nickname for a girl I'd like to talk to and then if a "chance encounter" came up (at the jukebox, at the bar) I'd tell them my new nickname for them. Then later (much later) I'd have another chance encounter and call her by her nickname from earlier. Like old friends having a reunion. It's golden.

Like if her shirt had glitter or something:

"Wow, you're all sparkly! That's my new nickname for you. Sparkles!"

Then just walk away. Next time you run into that girl, you call her Sparkles. Minimum incubation time: 45 minutes. The longer the better.

It works even better if you are good at remembering faces and you bump into her at the grocery store a few days later and you say "Hey! Sparkels! How did the rest of your night go last Saturday!"

Always use fun, flattering, cutsie names, not names like "big mama". If you aren't very quick-witted, you can just use something obvious like "pink shoes". "Hey Pink Shoes!" or if the pink shoes have exposed toes, "Wow those are some pink shoes! And I can see your toes! That's my new nickname for you, Pinky Toes!".

Speaking of shoes, a strange girl will always "model" her shoes for you if you comment on them. It's wierd how comfortable a girl gets when she thinks you are looking at her shoes with her. And it kinda gives her a little taste of harmlessly accepting physical flattery from you. It's pretty powerful. I think it is because most every woman has attractive calves and feet. There isn't too much variation from woman to woman, so it works equally well on all body types. A woman 150 lbs with nice calves and feet would LOVE a man to focus on her calves and feet. It takes away her self-consciousness over her waist.

There's my PUA lesson. Those were the days!

[robc]

Originally Posted by marklang500

Speaking of shoes, a strange girl will always "model" her shoes for you if you comment on them. It's wierd how comfortable a girl gets when she thinks you are looking at her shoes with her. And it kinda gives her a little taste of harmlessly accepting physical flattery from you. It's pretty powerful. I think it is because most every woman has attractive calves and feet. There isn't too much variation from woman to woman, so it works equally well on all body types. A woman 150 lbs with nice calves and feet would LOVE a man to focus on her calves and feet. It takes away her self-consciousness over her waist.

- there isn't too much variation from woman to woman.... Mark, surely you jest! Nice calves and nice feet do vary widely & wildly from woman to woman, there is a big difference, take a look and be honest. Calves vary from low placement to high placement, to overly huge to non-existent, nice feet vary from small cute feet to large men sized feet, there is a difference.

Woman do appreciate comments about their shoes and if their latest pedicure looks nice, I will agree with you on that statement.

But women's feet and calves are not created equally, there is a lot of variation.

OK, I've done it, I've said my peace,
Back to the regularly scheduled show....
;-)

[marklang500]

Point taken. I guess I should have said that even with all the variation in calves and feet, they can for the most part be considered attractive, regardless. (barring extreme strangeness, like "cankles")

But hey, we're talking about approaching someone you are attracted to, so if you are attracted to cankles, then my post still works!

Also, if a woman has huge man sized feet with a pedicure and sexy sandals, I guarantee you they will be more than willing to model them boats in a sexy way if you show interest in them. That's what I'm getting at!

Never underestimate the power of "harmless, yet subtle sexuality" conversation about a girls feet! Try it and you'll see! EVen if the little toe has a nasty corn on it, she may say "that little one is nasty though" and then you can bag on her nasty little toe. She'll love it. You can even say "it'll never work out between us because of that nasty little toe". There's no wrong way to do it!

[Mewwy]

I think directly or indirectly compliment a woman's physical feature the first time you meet her is abrupt. It can make her think "Meh it's just another guy who wants to hit on me."

I don't like to say that "hitting on" has a negative connotation, but I really think many woman thinks hitting on has some degree of superficiality, like your ultimate goal is to get her attention for your own enjoyment, not to really acknowledge her (I agree that people have truly good intentions in compliment in most cases though.)

Compliments are great, but it may be more compelling to say something qualitative on the inner side such as "Good work!" than something that only reflects on the outside, such as "Woah, I bet you're a professional model."

I think things like "Hey, did you invite all these people? I thought it was just going to be the two of us." is witty It's flirty but doesn't lose friendliness at the same time.

Of course, above comments do not represent all women on earth.

[Ali Hale]

Woah, guys, shy gals like me would run a mile if you introduced yourselves like that!

Bear in mind that some people are a bit on the cautious side and don't necessarily want you to be all crazy the minute you meet them. How about toning down the wackiness and going for something simple like "Hi, is this seat taken?", "Mind if I join you?" or (if you want to be a bit cute and corny) "I thought I should come and introduce myself rather than admiring you from afar."

(I guess it depends what kinda girl you're trying to meet, though...)

Good luck!

Ali

[SomeRandomGuy]

Originally Posted by Ali Hale

Woah, guys, shy gals like me would run a mile if you introduced yourselves like that!

Bear in mind that some people are a bit on the cautious side and don't necessarily want you to be all crazy the minute you meet them. How about toning down the wackiness and going for something simple like "Hi, is this seat taken?", "Mind if I join you?" or (if you want to be a bit cute and corny) "I thought I should come and introduce myself rather than admiring you from afar."

(I guess it depends what kinda girl you're trying to meet, though...)

Good luck!

Ali

I was very glad to see this response. I have been following the thread wondering if all girls really respond to this. I do not think that the type of girl I like would appreciate such an approach. This post has verified for me that there are definitely women who don't like this sort of thing. I guess that is the type of woman I am more likely to be attracted to.

[marklang500]

I should point out that environment has a huge role in the approach. None of my lines would work in the dentist waiting room or at a Starbucks. I was picturing more of a bar scene where the music is loud and the people are partying. "May I join you" works in the coffe shops, but not so much in a bar. It's all relative to the situation.

[Plato]

Originally Posted by Ali Hale

Woah, guys, shy gals like me would run a mile if you introduced yourselves like that!

Bear in mind that some people are a bit on the cautious side and don't necessarily want you to be all crazy the minute you meet them. How about toning down the wackiness and going for something simple like "Hi, is this seat taken?", "Mind if I join you?" or (if you want to be a bit cute and corny) "I thought I should come and introduce myself rather than admiring you from afar."

(I guess it depends what kinda girl you're trying to meet, though...)

Good luck!

Ali

It's not so much the type of girl as such..

It's more about a girl who's confident enough to banter with or vibe in a fun way. My motto is treat every woman how you would treat her if she was your girlfriend..

She needs to know what she's getting herself into!!!

Edit: I find a lot of guys are intimidated by me, and I can own these guys. They submit to my authority, but I'm not interested in being friends with them. I want friends who challenge me and kick my ass when I'm being pathetic. No excuses. I prefer a good enemy who helps me grow to an obedient follower. Likewise with a woman. I want a woman who won't put up with me dropping in consciousness.

[Mewwy]

Originally Posted by Plato

It's not so much the type of girl as such..

It's more about a girl who's confident enough to banter with or vibe in a fun way. My motto is treat every woman how you would treat her if she was your girlfriend..

She needs to know what she's getting herself into!!!

Edit: I find a lot of guys are intimidated by me, and I can own these guys. They submit to my authority, but I'm not interested in being friends with them. I want friends who challenge me and kick my ass when I'm being pathetic. No excuses. I prefer a good enemy who helps me grow to an obedient follower. Likewise with a woman. I want a woman who won't put up with me dropping in consciousness.

What if a girl simply isn't impressed by you?

[marklang500]

What if a girl simply isn't impressed by you?

(I shouldn't answer for Plato, but I have to say this)

It's not about impressing a girl. That's where most guys fail. They "try" to impress the girl. That immediately sends the message that she is better than me, and I'm going to work at keeping her interested.

What it is really about is having fun. And if a girl can have fun, then the sparks fly.

If, on the other hand, the girl chooses not to have fun, but instead take the view that "he is trying to impress me", then the girl will "run for the hills", and the guy won't mind either because she showed him that she can't "vibe with or banter in a fun way". It's all for the best.

So if the sparks don't fly, then they don't fly. It doesn't mean that the guy "did it wrong". It just means that the girl isn't on the same wavelength. So it's all for the better that it doesn't work out right from the beginning.

I do want to say that girls who are looking for a guy that impresses them will be sorely disapointed in thier options! It's better for guys to be themselves and get rejected than it is to put up a fake front in order to impress and them have their true colors show up later.

Sorry to steal Plato!

[SomeRandomGuy]

Originally Posted by marklang500

If, on the other hand, the girl chooses not to have fun, but instead take the view that "he is trying to impress me", then the girl will "run for the hills", and the guy won't mind either because she showed him that she can't "vibe with or banter in a fun way". It's all for the best.

You make it sound like there is something wrong with a girl who doesn't like being approached in this way. Just because a girl doesn't like guys who apply this sort of approach doesn't mean "the girl chooses not to have fun". Maybe this sort of behavior is just not the girl's idea of fun. Or maybe she is surrounded by "fun" people and is looking to meet people who exhibit different qualities.

[marklang500]

Oh no, that's not what I was getting at. Her question was "what if she isn't impressed" and my answer is: then it won't work out.

But not because he didn't impress her, but because they were'nt on the same wavelength. I used quoation marks around those things to show how the two points of view clash. They were'nt my words, but the words of the two people involved. I don't think there is anything wrong with either one of them. But they clash.

I did, however, say that I think it is a bad idea for men and women both to get into the mindset that "the man needs to impress the woman". That causes some men to be fake. And deep down I don't think women really want that. The bad part is, they DO want to be impressed. They just want to be impressed with who the man REALLY is, not by some fake sh|t.

If a man is being himself, and he makes a witty banter, and she runs for the hills, then it is a good thing, because she isn't into that kind of guy. If he is being fake, and he makes a witty banter, and she runs for the hills, then she just avoided a guy who isn't true to himself, and he cheated himself out of possibly meeting someone that would like him for who he is.

Different women will run for the hills for different reasons. It's best to be yourself and not chance fakeness ruining what could be a great relationship. But it is great to find your own sense of humor and let it shine. Life is serious enough as it is. Have fun with relationships.

My lines are funny to me, and I like being funny alot. I throw lines like that on my wife to this day. It's fun. And it's me.

[SomeRandomGuy]

Thanks for the clarification. I agree with everything in your post.

[pterodactyl]

Hi Fullcrum,

Well, I'm pretty shy, so it takes a lot to get me out of my head and be outgoing, but back in college I spotted a man I found attractive walking through campus one day, and impulsively walked up to him and began keeping pace with him and his friend, as though we knew each other. They were amused and surprised at this total stranger walking along as though we were all going somewhere together, and we walked along in silence for a little while. I was actually thinking of something to say and felt kind of mortified at my actions. Finally the man I liked said, jokingly, 'We're lost, so I hope you know where you're going,' and I replied, 'Actually, it's dangerous out here, so I've been sent to protect you.' This made them laugh since I am about as intimidating as a chihuahua and we were walking through a sunny park in the center of campus. We started to flirt after that; I didn't get his number, but I was glad to have made the effort.

Amber

[Plato]

Originally Posted by Mewwy

What if a girl simply isn't impressed by you?

What do you mean?

Originally Posted by marklang500

Sorry to steal Plato!

Haha, oh you will be..

I agree with what you said. It's funny how "The Game" has transformed into "Be Yourself"

[marklang500]

It's funny how "The Game" has transformed into "Be Yourself"

No transformation...just clarification!

You can be yourself and NOT play the game.
You be a faker and PLAY the game.
Or, you can be yourself AND play the game.

Most successful method....#3.

Plus, its not a game, its a dance.

[Plato]

Yeah... you could say it's about being the best dance partner we can be.

[Blueskied]

@Fullcrum et alteri:
You are crazy.

[Mewwy]

Thanks mark.

But how is complimenting a girl's physical feature not an attempt to impress her? Or to impress yourself that you've made a girl feel good about herself so that she will think you're fun to be with?

Are you sure people can really say whatever they think is fun to strangers, fearless of any consequences?

Would you really approach a female stranger and compliment her that her boobs are large solely for the fun of the moment? (yes this is an extreme example.)

I have a experience once, where I rode a bus and sat next to a man who seemed to like me upon the first glimpse. He seemed friendly and easygoing as we started a conversation. The conversation evolved into topics on weather, tanning, and then moles. He used this chance to complimented my moles. And runs his fingers on my arms where there are moles like he's caressing. Then the conversation ended because he needed to get off the bus and we never met again.

Obviously that guy had his fun for the spur of the moment. I can only tell you that I can't feel the same fun he's having. I kept my smile, I didn't personally consider that a harassment, but still, I think it's a bit boring and weird.

This is what I mean by "unimpressed."

I speculate that in most cases, upon the first time meeting, people still expect some feedback and validation of how well of an image they project onto others. It takes time for most people to familiarize with each other in order to achieve the "just relax and simply enjoy in the present" state of mind.

Originally Posted by Plato

What do you mean?

What if your humor isn't good enough for her standards?

[Plato]

Originally Posted by Mewwy

What if your humor isn't good enough for her standards?

To me that's not a real question.

A real question would be "what if my humour isn't to her taste?" in which case the answer is -- it wouldn't work. Maybe we compliment each other, maybe we don't. That's not to say I intend to step on peoples' toes, but I mean come on, let's not be afraid to break some eggs!

[funchy]

Look at the person and what they're doing. Take a moment and think of a way to turn something you see into a conversation starter.

For example, you stop on the way home from work to get gas. You see an interesting person stop in the next aisle. Turn to him/her and ask them about their car. How do you like it? If it's a little car: how's the mileage? If it's a big pickup truck, ask about towing. If it's a sports car, ask how they enjoy driving it. Complment the color. Ask if they got the sport model or not.

Or for example anyone with an accent is an easy conversation starter! "If you don't mind me asking... I love your accent. Where are you from?" And then open the door to talk about their hometown or world travels.

And as soon as they start talking, go into listener mode. Don't make this about you. Don't interrogate. Just show them interest and attention.

People do love to talk about themselves, as long as they feel comfortable. The secret is to figure out things those things are. If they're busy and can't talk, don't take it personally.


Get in the habit of being a bit more outgoing. Strangers are potential friends... go meet them!

[marklang500]

Would you really approach a female stranger and compliment her that her boobs are large solely for the fun of the moment? (yes this is an extreme example.)

That is extreme....so extreme only a fool would do it. Run...run fast...

That's the beuty of complimenting her shoes. Or her hair. We get to "be men" by openly admitting that we find physical beauty attractive, and that you've got that beauty, yet we don't go all sexual with it. (some guys do, but it don't work out too good!)

But how is complimenting a girl's physical feature not an attempt to impress her?

To me, NOT complimenting a girl's physical features would be an attempt to impress. Becasue I would have to be suppressing my natural thoughts. Why would I want to be artificial? To impress. But to be real, to be myself, is not an attempt to impress, but more of "putting myself out there" and see if you like it.

You seem to have a bit of an attitude that the men have to win you over. You are asking for fakeness. If I were a single man, that attitude would make ME run for the hills. (I'm not trying to be mean, just making a point) Someone that doesn't like how I am is not someone I want to be in a relationship with, obviously. But I should unveil "how I am" in doses to match the level that the relationship has grown to. As long as those doses are real, not fake, it's great! But a stranger on a bus shouldn't be touching you.

As for the guy you encountered, did you enjoy the entire conversation (minus the touching)? If, instead of actually making contact with your arm, he just pointed, would that have changed the feel you got from it?

When strangers begin to interact, there is a line that shouldn't be crossed. WHere that line is is dependant on the individuals and the situation. It sounds like this guy crossed your line when he touched you. That changed him from charming to creepy. I would suggest that it is better to not get too close to the line for fear of crossing it. The damage of crossing it far outweighs the benefits of getting close to it without crossing it. That guy crossed it.

BUT, if he had not touched you, but instead asked if you would like to meet him at a club for drinks with friends Friday night, you might have gone with some friends. During that evening, he might have touched your arm and that wouldn't have crossed the line. It's all relative to the comfort level you have with him. Like you said, it takes some people time to get that comfort level. A total stranger on a bus shouldn't be touching you. A 2nd date, though, should touch you before the evening is through. If that's creepy, then don't go on the 3rd date.

If you don't mind me asking, how old were you when this bus ride happened? How old was he? Did he guide the conversation to get to that point? Or did the conversation go there by chance? It may have been creepy for a lot of other reasons altogether...When your mind tells you he's creepy it's best to listen! But don't let that stop you from stepping on the dance floor.

[Mewwy]

Originally Posted by marklang500

You are asking for fakeness.

To not bluntly say what's on your mind does not equal to being fake. There's gotta be something better to say than a woman's shoe or hair. There are plenty of "real" and fun things you can say. Praising appearance is a old line, and used by men with solely sexual intentions. A few bad apples like that ruined the entire reputation of men who compliment upon sincerity and respect. So I guess personally I've raised my standards on first time conversations when men approach. Like my moles? Well, okay. It's really just -okay-. It's not that thrilling, refreshing and fun. Why don't you tell me something new? I don't need to know how good I am or how good you are in apparent ways.

I can't say that complimenting appearance isn't fun a thing to do. It's hard to define fun too. If the vibe is there, it is there. Two man may approach me and say "Buy me a drink!" and immediately project very different impressions. Maybe it'll be more fun if someone else touches my moles upon first time meeting, although the chance that I'd really think it's fun is slim.