scared

[alks123]

ive been with my bf for about 1yr n 6 months..prob more..but were experiencing alot of troubles and not sure if its worth being together anymore..im scared to be alone..don't know what to do..
i live away from home..dont know many ppl here and hes is all i know and see..and my close mate is movin away at the end of the year and after she is gone i wont have much left...but myself n my head..i dont have a job at the moment so i have nothing to keep my head straight.. i cant move back home theres nothing for me there no job not many friends left either..im really messed up dont know what to do..

im not sure if i love him or not..but i love his company hes the guy i want to be with for the rest of my life..i cant stand to be without him and when he acts towards me like he dosent care i feel horrible n drive myself crazy and cry constantly..but when im with him n were talking n hugging etc..im on top of the world...

[Yasiru]

Well..... What i think is that you need to build up the ability to manage things alone in your surroundings, first of all I'd suggest that you get yourself a job.
Try handling things alone by yourself, start progressively and tackle the biggest problems. And build your social skill the same way, they will come handy in the future. Hope this helps!
Read the article about hopeless situations in StevePavlina.com
here it is : Hopeless Situations

[alks123]

yeah thanks did help a bit.. im on my way to getting a job had a few interviews and still applying like crazy..i think i just need to get a job that will make me feel a fair bit better and then i just need to work on meeting new ppl..i have a few friends here but rarely see them .. only if its a special occasion like a festival or birthday n we just drink..im still not 100% sure if i should stay with my bf.. in a few wks were going to discuss how things are going so hopefully i will know by then..

i think im scared because i moved here on my own and i lived in a dorm and almost immediatly i had a group of mates n a couple of besties..n now that group dosent exist and in my home town i was used to having a best friend who i did everything with and now im not friends with her either (she treated me really badly) just getting me down cause i dont have a bestf or a bf i can go to to make me feel better...

[mattpd]

Scared of being alone? I think thats a solid reason to stay in a relationship.

Perhaps you can suggest marriage?

[AnotherSon]

Sounds like you're having a tough time at the mo alright. I think you are definitely doing the right thing looking for a job, which brings focus, and meeting some new people as a result should be really helpful too. Its a case of opening some doors around you for the next few weeks, perhaps joining a club or something, generally trying to shift your focus onto yourself and your life outside your relationship and away from the relationship itself. By working on this side of your life two things may happen. You will be more fulfilled from things outside your relationship (as well as the relationship too) but also you will possibly be in a better position to deal with you and your bf's situation when you come to talk about it it a few weeks. I could be wrong but I think by gaining some more independence from the relationship, it may benefit both you and your relationship!

[alks123]

thnkz 4 the help! were in a break at the moment.. n things my way have got even worse a friend died and i have noone to talk to.. just relly dont know if i should pursue the relo anymore...

the other thing is my bday is coming up (21) n im not allowed to drink cos he dosent trust me.. n i havnt had a good time with friends in such a long time and now im confused to if i should not drink n maintain the relo or just call it quits?
cause i want to have fun with my friends n drink with them but is it worth loosing him.. i dont know

[Alexjstrandberg]

If you are unsure if you love him or not, that's your answer. You are with him out of fear of losing someone. Your list of people that can help you and be around is getting smaller and you are with him out of fear of having no one. I think a break isn't a good idea and I don't think you should get into another relationship till you get yourself handled.

I'm reading a book right now that is pretty good. It's "get the life you want" by Richard Bandler, I think it would help