a boy, a girl (and one more boy)

[Scandinavian light]

Hey

I have this problem with a girl, who I'm in love with. We've both begun on this school and I quickly meet her and we have been together for 3 weeks now, we've kissed and really had a nice time. Although she sometimes acted a bit strange, kind of shy or unsure.

Now yesterday she told me why, she still has her old boyfriend. She couldn't go on with me, because they had been together for 1 year before, and we have only known each other 3 weeks. So it's not because she doesn't like me, rather because she can't break up with the old boyfriend.

When I heard this, I was of course shattered. It so tragic that we like each other and can't be together.

I would like to have some inputs on this one, I really like her and find her very special. If I in someway could be with her again, she is not going to see her old boyfriend the next 2 months and they will not see each other very often for the next year. I just think she plans too far in the future and push away enjoyments for a very long time.

[Tom Church]

You have two options:

1) Try and win her over her current BF
2) Leave and move on

What you cannot do is wait. Do not dibble dabble, 'hang out' and whatever whilst she is with the other guy because this'll hurt you and her. You can try to show that you're value is greater than the other guy's, but be careful not to insult him as this is insulting her.

Otherwise I'd suggest leaving completely and moving on in your life. There are 3.3 billion women in the world, how many have you met?

P.S. You may be interested in this forum to help you more.

[Scandinavian light]

Originally Posted by Tom Church

You have two options:

1) Try and win her over her current BF
2) Leave and move on

What you cannot do is wait. Do not dibble dabble, 'hang out' and whatever whilst she is with the other guy because this'll hurt you and her. You can try to show that you're value is greater than the other guy's, but be careful not to insult him as this is insulting her.

Otherwise I'd suggest leaving completely and moving on in your life. There are 3.3 billion women in the world, how many have you met?

P.S. You may be interested in this forum to help you more.

Thanks for the quick answer

Yeah, I have already tried to be the best place to be. It just pretty intense competition, when she has been with him for a year. But my solution will probably be to make her realize what she's missing.

And yeah I know about "the game" or pualifestyle or whatever, while I found some of the advices really good, there's also a lot of feeling-less cold elements.
That's why I'm posting here, because people often have some well thought out answers. I want a new perspective, the third solution Steve often talks about

[lasti]

You're going to find love anyway. Maybe not with that particular person but when you love, universe finds away to get that love back at you.

[jamestl2]

Give Up.

How would you feel later down the road that she was smooching a guy she just met the previous week?

Try some mental exercises out (Like keep telling yourself something like "Screw Her", or "She just used me for her own personal gains" over and over.)

It doesn't heal immediately, but at least it can numb the painful experience a bit.

[Technicolor Tim]

I'd love to share of my infinite wisdom on relationships (haha, yeah right) but... It's absolutely impossible to give good advice on a situation like that going by a post on a message board. Only you can answer those questions. Ultimately, I guess I'd say follow your heart. I get the feeling you stand a good chance of ending up in a lot of pain, but.... such is life! It's a lot of pain and misery, but at the end of the day it's all good anyway, so don't sweat it too much. From my experience, it only takes about a decade to start to recover from a broken heart. You'll live.

[Scandinavian light]

Originally Posted by Technicolor Tim

I'd love to share of my infinite wisdom on relationships (haha, yeah right) but... It's absolutely impossible to give good advice on a situation like that going by a post on a message board. Only you can answer those questions. Ultimately, I guess I'd say follow your heart. I get the feeling you stand a good chance of ending up in a lot of pain, but.... such is life! It's a lot of pain and misery, but at the end of the day it's all good anyway, so don't sweat it too much. From my experience, it only takes about a decade to start to recover from a broken heart. You'll live.

Yeah, my situation is a bit complex and difficult to describe. It could just be nice, if someone could look at it from the outside. But if you can't then I will just have to find the answer within myself.

So I will follow my heart (it feels so kliché to say this), it might end in a painful way. But I'm not that serious yet, I'm just very much into her.
A decade would be half of my life, so that's a bit frightening to read