It is important to not get screwed over by people, because ...

[Jamie]

"It is important to not get screwed over by people, because"

1. It inhibits our ability to trust others and develop true friendships.

2. Anything else?

[The David]

2. It gives the other person an opportunity to shirk.

[Jamie]

To shirk? What does 'shirk' mean?

[Angela]

3. It provides evidence that people screw you over, which
3.a. Enhances your belief that people will screw you over, which
3.b. Attracts more screwing-over to you, which
3.c. Promotes a screw-them-before-they-screw-you context for your life, which
3.c.(i) See 3.b.

[Pequod]

4. because you feel bad when you let it happen

5. because you feel great when you muster the courage to stand up for yourself

[Dannyboy1]

Whatever you focus on is attracted into your life. Focusing on why you shouldn't let yourself be walked on or screwed over could make you look for who's screwing you over, which could become a self fulfilling prophecy.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Dannyboy1

Whatever you focus on is attracted into your life. Focusing on why you shouldn't let yourself be walked on or screwed over could make you look for who's screwing you over, which could become a self fulfilling prophecy.

Exactly! Which is why it you might want to try shifting your perspective and disappear "getting screwed over" entirely. By the way, making it disappear by shifting your perspective has NOTHING -- zero, zilch, squat -- to do with denial or plastering on a happy facade.

[Jamie]

Think that's very true DannyBoy and Angela.

I do wonder though, if you find something keeps happening again and again, it must be worth examining our inner attitude and beliefs, which are perhaps creating these situations?

Then installing new ones!

But of course, you're right; it's better to focus on what you do what to happen, than on what you don't want.

Jamie.

[Dannyboy1]

Originally Posted by Jamie

Think that's very true DannyBoy and Angela.

I do wonder though, if you find something keeps happening again and again, it must be worth examining our inner attitude and beliefs, which are perhaps creating these situations?

Then installing new ones!

But of course, you're right; it's better to focus on what you do what to happen, than on what you don't want.

Jamie.

You will not get walked on. If you allow yourself to be run by your old patterns, you will. You don't need a major overhaul of you personality. You need only monitor yourself. At the first sign of discomfort, step back and remind yourself where you are at that moment. Observe your thoughts, don't judge them. Observe your thoughts, don't identify with them. Then make a clear headed decision without emotion.

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Jamie

I do wonder though, if you find something keeps happening again and again, it must be worth examining our inner attitude and beliefs, which are perhaps creating these situations?

Then installing new ones!

Yes! And breakthrough is available when you look at that recurring lesson from a new perspective. You don't have to believe a new perspective is "true;" just trying it on frees up your mind to break through to new solutions.

For instance, in this case, you might try on brainstorming a list of why it IS important to get screwed over by people -- what benefits and pay-offs have you gotten in life by being screwed over? There are lots and lots! Then try on being grateful to the screwer for what (s)he has provided to you.

[mattpd]

I think its good to be screwed over.

Unless you live in a cave, its impossible not to be at some time.

I've learned a lot from those experiences, but it hasn't stopped me liking people.

I think that I came to a realization that how people treat us is 100% determined by us. You can get the same person who treats two different people completely differently by how those two people interact.

Of course all elements of your life are 100% within your control, but I must say that not many are as clear, quick and obvious than how we control how people treat us. It amazes me the reality people create for themselves about how other people treat them.

The best attitude in my experience is Reverse Paranoia (credit: Jack Canfield), which is the attitude that everybody is trying to help you and do you good.

[metamorph]

Appreciate the moments when people screw you over. It is really not just a phony line to say it is "grist for the mill" (ram dass). It is a great test of your awareness, ego, and your ability to dance with life. I just got screwed over by my boss yesterday, so I can really still feel the "lesson" in my bones

[JimOfferman]

I think it is important to not stop living your life, just because someone screwed you over...

[Rose of Cairo]

Hihihi *giggle* Sorry for this unserious post, but this thread reminds me so much of the ♥♥♥♥♥ thread. All those people repeating variations of "screw you over" in all kinds of sentences...

I think it's not important to not get screwed over by people. Getting screwed over is a useful opportunity to examine and change some beliefs of yours. Don't take it personally. It's a chance to grow, so these people are helping you, no matter what their intentions are or how you judge their actions.

After you shift your mindset, you won't get screwed over anymore. That's not better: you manifested in your reality what you believe to be true, just like before. So the success is the same, it just feels different.

Getting screwed over does not necessarily inhibit our ability to trust others. Only if you decide so. Trust is a decision.

Love Jamie

[Jamie]

You guys are all so awesome; top quality insights, one and all.

I think the me being screwed over issue (or the particular instance of being screwed over, that inspired this thread), in the end, didn't happen.

It was just my own mental projection; though I had allowed myself to be in a somewhat compromised situation, through helping someone out.

It's funny you know; help someone out, and it's almost as if you're liable, in the event that something goes wrong.

Anyhoo, thanks once again everyone.
Jamie. x

[ellie]

Originally Posted by Jamie

"It is important to not get screwed over by people, because"

1. It inhibits our ability to trust others and develop true friendships.

2. Anything else?

1. You lose self esteem
2. You keep attracting the same situation
3. the person that screws you over doesn't care and wont be effected by it, so why should you?
4. People that usually screw you over, usually a pretty selfish, so you should do the same. Just care about yourself!

Obviously these are things I have learnt from being screwed over time and time again, but I have finally wised up! I don't seem to attract those situations any more. I suppose I have become selfish myself!

[The David]

To shirk is to shrug off one's responsibilities. When you let people screw you over, regardless of your reasons, you may think you're doing them a favor but you are actually enabling their childish behavior.