Asking out a cashier.. did I blow my chance?

[gabez]

Well, I just moved to a new city a week ago, and have been going to a store close by to pick up whatever I need. Well, I noticed this beautiful girl at the check out lane I go to. I think I've only seen her a few times, but anyway I figured I'd try asking her out and telling her how I'm new in town next time I see her.

Well, today, I had to head back to the store to pick something up, and I'm in her checkout line. I think she noticed me, and while I was behind one other person, I think she nodded to the loss prevention guy at the front entrance to help me at another register. So I ended up getting through checkout by someone else.

So here's my question... since I've been going to the store so much, I have a feeling the girl tried to keep me away like I'm some kind of stalker. Either that or the loss prevention guy was her boyfriend.

It just struck me as weird since I was just next in line... should I even bother going back to the store to try and strike up a convo with her? I feel like that just totally blew my chance. If I do, I'll have to wait a while.

[Wet]

Or she could see that you are a regular customer, and wanted to make sure you didn't have to wait?


But IF you think are creepy... Well, you will come off that way.


Happy thoughts.

[Dedekind]

Just wondering, does a rich man (say a laywer or a banker or some millionaire) ever want to ask a cashier out on a date? Sounds dangerous to me, as some dangerous crowd might get attracted to one's life. Also, never mess with another man's woman. That is bound to get you into trouble also. Not sure how you would tackle this particular situation though. Think about it for a week or two. If you still feel you're into the girl (I would say 90% chances you wouldn't be), then try again and see what happens. Not meaning to be rude, but I have often gotten short term (1-2 day) crushes on women but was glad after 3 days of having done nothing at all.

[Fullcrum]

I wouldn't worry about it gabez. Just meet hot girls wherever you see them. If you're too worried about the cashier, go to the park. Or a yoga class. Or something. There's no need to pine over one girl or anything, because they're in abundance. They're everywhere!

[sgregory]

I'm a girl so I'll tell you what I think form my perspective.

Wait a week and go back. Going to the store every week is normal, everyday might be too much. How often are you going anyway? People normally go to grocery stores every week, so it's not a big deal.

I don't think she was trying to avoid you, she just tried to keep the line as short as possible. When I was a cashier, we were taught yo do that. Plus, you've only been going there a week - hardly stalker material . If you came everyday for a week or every other day for 2 weeks, yeah I would maybe think you are being over eager. Once every 2-3 days over a one week span- I just think you might not live in the area and are picking a few things up at a time because you're only on vacation.

Don't get so hell -bent over little things like this, be calm and collected and not over eager. Girls can pick up on that and THAT might ruin your chances. Practice in front of a mirror or with a friend what you are going to say if you need to be calm when you go in there.

Oh, and don't let the fear some of someone possibly having a boyfriend stop you. That is why you are asking her out, to see if she is available. If she is taken, just smile and say something like, "Well, I had to ask. I couldn't let a good opportunity like this pass me by"

Good luck and just relax. There are lots of girls out there if this one doesn't work out, and the m ore you ask, the more chances you have pf success and you gain practice, to boot.

[gabez]

Thanks for the advice everyone. Since I just moved I was going every other day, but had only gone a few times. Since things are pretty much settled here, I don't have a reason to go back anytime soon.

Next time I do need something though maybe a week or two from now, I'll see what happens(if she's still working there and if I'm still interested).

This is just kind of new to me, since I'm only used to asking out girls I already know, rather than a stranger like with this cashier. Anyway, thanks again for the advice and if anything happens, I'll post an update.

[oBakasan]

Just wondering, does a rich man (say a laywer or a banker or some millionaire) ever want to ask a cashier out on a date?

Heh, that just happened in a manga I was reading.
As for my opinion:

"Ask out" - maybe, "start a meaningful relationship" - much less likely.

Not because of elitism or anything, but simply because it's much harder to make such a relationship work.

For me, at least, I'd want to be on equal terms with my partner so if either one of us brought in 95% of the money it would put a bit of a strain on the relationship. Not to mention the fact that a millionaire and a 9 to 5 cashier live in two completely worlds, making it that much harder to connect.

Sure, it happens sometimes, especially in some soap operas and manga, but I wouldn't consider it a regular occurence. (Not to mention the very fact that a millionaire wouldn't be caught dead doing his own grocery shopping at a convinience store).

[ThoughtAddict]

Originally Posted by oBakasan

Sure, it happens sometimes, especially in some soap operas and manga, but I wouldn't consider it a regular occurence. (Not to mention the very fact that a millionaire wouldn't be caught dead doing his own grocery shopping at a convinience store).

Both of my current employers are millionaires, both having a net worth above $5 million. One of them will take trips around wealthy neighborhoods collecting scrap wood put out as garbage. He uses it as firewood. He also does his own grocery shopping, usually at discount stores. The other is a brilliant attorney who does all her own shopping, often spending afternoons browsing the racks... at Goodwill.

Millionaires are people too. They fall in love with less wealthy people, and with more wealthy people. It is more likely to work when the person has comparable wealth, but it would be similarly likely if both people took steps to ensure that the disparate wages weren't an issue in the relationship.

[oBakasan]

[quote]it would be similarly likely if both people took steps to ensure that the disparate wages weren't an issue in the relationship.[/quoete]
But how?

I'm trying to understand this issue, but I'll be honest - I have the feeling that if I ever fall in love with someone who was either much more poor or much more wealthy than me I just can't imagine that it would work out in the long run. I think the difference in wealth and attitudes would always put a strain on the relationship. Am I wrong? Or am I just that prideful and conceited for not being able to look at a person without factoring in their wealth?

[Alison Jenkins]

My husband didn't say a word to me. He slipped me a note into my hand. Afterwards I read the note and it said "Ring me if you dare" with his phone number. I always say never dare a woman cos he ended up marrying me LOL

Alison

[ThoughtAddict]

Originally Posted by oBakasan

But how?

I'm trying to understand this issue, but I'll be honest - I have the feeling that if I ever fall in love with someone who was either much more poor or much more wealthy than me I just can't imagine that it would work out in the long run. I think the difference in wealth and attitudes would always put a strain on the relationship.

One way is simply never making money an issue. A friend of mine worked as a sommelier for a while. His girlfriend worked doing administrative duties in an office. She assumed he was a waiter, barely scraping by. The truth was that he earned several times more than her. They didn't discuss the issue and were fine. When they did, well, it got awkward.

One married couple I know keeps separate accounts. They both work, and they have rough agreements on who will pay for what in their everyday lives. They're also extremely generous and loving with each other when it comes to money. They're responsible and mature and don't let it become a problem.

If two people are mature when it comes to money, I don't see why it has to be an issue.