Leaving Friends

[ScotiaCoast]

I made a rather rash decision earlier this week to transfer to a university on the other side of the country (well, internally I've been mulling over this decision for months, but it would seem rash to anyone from the outside). Classes start in just over a week. I did the same thing last year, but came back after only a couple of weeks because the transfer credits didn't work out and I couldn't afford to start from scratch. It's something I've wanted to do for a while, and a school that I feel has a lot to offer me. However, I have a very guilty conscience about this decision. By leaving I fear I will be abandoning and betraying my friends home, that they might feel like I'm ungrateful for our friendship, and that I'm trying to get away from them. Especially since it's a rather last-minute decision. That's really not the case. I love my friends -- I just feel like I am stagnating at the school I've been attending (in my home province) and have better opportunities for growth at the school I want to transfer to. I told some of my closest friends from home about my plans yesterday, and it seems my fears weren't unfounded. One good friend said he "is cut to the deepest point a knife could cut, maybe even deeper" and that it's comparable to a long-standing grudge he has with someone else he used to be friends with. Another friend sent me an e-mail with a message that said "2008 Theme" and had the song Heartbreaker attached. Not-so-subtle messages. I know some people may say these people aren't true friends if they act like that, but they really are my closest friends since I was a child, and I completely understand why they're upset with me even if I would be excited for them in such a circumstance (even though I'd miss them!). I just don't know what to do or say to fix things short of just staying home. I've already purchased a plane ticket and paid a deposit on tuition, but as I'm still home, there's nothing FORCING me to leave. My parents would be VERY upset, but I'm sure that would pass with time. I've always been a very fickle and capricious, and I'm getting tired of constantly disappointing people with it. I'd really appreciate any words you may have for me. Thanks (:

[Holistic Star]

Marianne Williamson says in her book that everything 'is either love or a cry for love'. So if your friends are reacting negatively towards you leaving it is a cry for love because they are feeling rejected by you.

So do what you can to reassure them that you still value them and want to keep in touch. Let them know the dates you plan to be home, how you want to keep in touch while you are away. Tell them that you know it must seem sudden to them and tell them what you want to get out of going to the college.

Hopefully they will come round.

If they don't, then just send them loving thoughts and while you are away make sure you leave the door open to them.

But please don't stay home just because they are doing their best to make you feel bad. You would regret not going and holding yourself back for people who don't have your best interests at heart.


(PS my best friend moved permanently to the other side of the world and we're still friends. It's not easy having a long distance friendship, you miss out on so much and misunderstandings can arise from email communications. But it can work when there is willing on both sides).