Hard time facing my mistakes

[Xin]

The situation on a nutshell:

I'm in a 3 month relationship with a girl I love... She is the first girl I'm with, but she has had other boyfriends, specially one that was/is my best friend and that definitely screwed her up.

During this 3 months, she would always say how amazed she was at how perfect I was, how she felt so secure, how she felt she could trust, how she felt so happy, in ways that her ex-bf never made her feel. And, during this 3 months, I did everything I could, I tried to be the best possible person I could be for her. I felt... so goddamn happy and proud of myself.

Last week, I screw up. I get plastered drunk, and a mutual girl friend comes and tries to help me. My GF took what happened as betrayal. Of course, our friend just wanted to help me, EVERYONE understood that and saw it that way. Not my GF. Of course, she's in her right.

She told me I had let her down, that I was destroying all the trust, all the good things that she always prized the most in our relationship. Suffice to say, I feel like... well, like I shouldn't feel, like crap. After the incident, we started fighting day in, day out. We had a big fight yesterday and she said I had to understand I wasn't perfect, that I would screw up, that she would screw up, and that we would hurt eachother. And that that is what a relationship is about. She wants me to get over my mistakes, but I'm having a hard time doing so. We both want to make this work, and we promised eachother to talk more, fight less, and do our best to make it work.

I don't know how to cope with my feelings. I felt like I was doing what I was supposed to do, that even if we broke up, that it would happen with me knowing I had done my best. But now I screwed up... And I'm having a hard time accepting my mistakes. I want to be the best for her, I swore when we started dating I'd do my best... Then I screw up. I don't know what to make out of it.

I want, more than anything right now, to make things right, to make this girl happy and be the kind of Man she deserves. But I just don't know how to get back on track.

[carenkh]

It really sounds to me like you didn't make a mistake. It sounds like your girlfriend misconstrued a situation and was feeling insecure. That's not your problem. I don't mean, be an a**hole about it and completely unresponsive, but... you didn't do anything wrong. (from the little glimpse we got here!)

Can you find your center, your truth? Communicating from that place will have much more power than trying to contort yourself to fit her mold.

[Angela]

Yes, it definitely sounds like you are having a hard time facing your mistakes. What are your mistakes, again? Someone "helped" you when you got drunk? What does that mean? What did this "help" consist of? You mention several times that you "screwed up" -- how exactly did you do that?

[hkalchemy]

I don't understand how you made a mistake? Can you explain? What did you do wrong?

[Jarrod]

There is no screwing up in life. There is only actions, results and perceptions/desires.

When our actions don't match how we desire we should have acted we say we screwed up.

There is nothing to be done to previous actions. All that can be done is to look at the current state of your world and take the next action that you perceive is best.

All current action can change anything in the world.

[straysweeper]

Her calling you perfect sounds so familiar, I can't even express. I'm really starting to think that is the first phase when a woman finds something different than she knew before. Once she becomes used to you, she then can see you more as you are.

Perhaps your trying too hard to please her, and not allowing yourself to be human? Did something happen between you and this woman? If not, and you know that nothing did. Do not change your mind or let her make you believe something that isn't true. Know and believe in yourself, if you don't, how can she?