First relationship

[xhironakamurax]

Here's the thing, me and my gf have been on 1 date and , since then we've been on msn talking, I told her about a dream I had and it involved mild sexual things... We've been together for 2 months I think...

She was totally fine with it, now we've talked about it, and both of us want to do alot, she I think might want to actually "do it"..

I know I initiated the whole sexual thing, but I'm not sure if I want to take it this fast. I don't even know if I want to do all of that yet, I do like her alot but I don't know. I thought doing this stuff is what I wanted...We haven't yet.

I'm 16, she's 15. We've both never been in a relationship.

[Eisho]

Your feelings are natural...a confused state of desire and trepidation. Just talk more about it to your gf about it and relax yourselves. But the fear of the unknown is never going to leave you until you actually do it.

Eisho

[andrew]

You're new to the whole sexual thing, so it's natural to be all confused.

My advice would be to do what you think is best, and only what you're both ready to handle. Girls attach a lot more emotions to sex than men (stereotypically speaking), so be careful.

I didn't have sex until I was 18, but fooled around a bit before that. Just have fun, be open and communicate, be mature, experiment, and relax. The first few times you try to have sex, you may not even be able to do it - hell, I wasn't. So if stuff goes wrong, don't worry, just relax and go as fast or slow as you need to.

Now to what you said. 1 "date" and then talking on MSN for 2 months? Does this mean you've only actually seen her once in 2 months, or just been on 1 official date?

Regardless, don't do official date-dates; their just bad. Trust me, just don't do it, esp at your age. Her parents may find it cute and charming, but that's about it. (When I say date, I mean the whole buy her a movie and dinner and kiss goodnight if you're lucky crap) Besides that, meet up! I know at your age its hard to get rides etc, but there's nothing better than the real deal (or at least webcam). I don't know your exact situation, so it may not apply to you, but I digress.

[xhironakamurax]

Well I'm new to it in person.

Also I'm alot more emotional than most guys, not crying alot kind of person.

We had one "official date" where we went to a concert, and we've been talking on msn for 2 months, yeah I've only seen here once in 2 months.. We live to far away to be seeing eachother that much which sucks, we're about 30 minutes mabey 45min away.

I actually have a cam, she doesn't. Really, wish she had one.

Thanks, btw.

Also I think she does want to fool around.

[DayInTheLife]

If you don't want to do it yet, don't do it yet.

[xhironakamurax]

What do I say if she brings it up?

[Spartan]

You could say that you would rather wait until she is 16, since sex is technically illegal at 15.

Or just say that you want to get to know each other better first.

[xhironakamurax]

Yeah, but here it's 14. lol.
I'm not sure what to say to her.
Since all of the sexual talk has happened my friends have noticed I'm a happier person.......

[ar81]

I used to have sex with my gf if I was sure I would go all the way in case of pregnancy.

If she feels about you, you have the responsibility of taking care of her feelings and not to hurt her.

A good way to do both is to think about the life plans of both and act accordingly. Try to make her to grow as a person and live happier. Help her to make her life plan come true.

[Alison Jenkins]

Give yourself time until you really feel ready to commit to a sexual relationship. Spend the time getting to know her, having fun and being teenagers. Once you start a sexual relationship you can rarely ever go back to it being non sexual. You can show someone you love them without having sex.

Alison

[xhironakamurax]

Originally Posted by Alison Jenkins

Give yourself time until you really feel ready to commit to a sexual relationship. Spend the time getting to know her, having fun and being teenagers. Once you start a sexual relationship you can rarely ever go back to it being non sexual. You can show someone you love them without having sex.

Alison

Thanks, See my other problem is that I'm not 100% sure I love her, I guess I'm scared too do it, or do anything and wake up one day not liking her and break up, and she might be mad since we did that stuff then I broke up with her. And I'm pretty sure that won't happen but......anyway, thanks allison, and really weird advice from ar81 that didn't make any sense...:P

[Alison Jenkins]

It is always so much harder to break up after having a sexual relationship but realistically at your age it is unlikely that you have found your partner for life.

If you are comfortable with your decision to enter a sexual relationship then you are much less likely to have regrets. You are so young so it is perfectly normal not to be in love and have doubts. Start by getting to know each other and see what happens then.

The other thing is to think through the consequences of a sexual relationship in terms of pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases. Use condoms plus a reliable contraceptive like the pill. You may want to practice with a condom so that when the time comes you are familiar with using them as it takes practice to put them on squeezing the air out at the end.

It's great that you have been thinking in advance since it gives you time to think your decision through carefully as many teenagers end up in the midst of sexual arousal and suddenly they have had sex without really planning it.

Alison

[JSB]

Remember that you can experiment sexually and have sexual feelings and pleasure without going all the way to intercourse. If you are fooling around and it starts to feel uncomfortable, you can stop at any time. Just tell her that it feels nice but you want to take it slow; it's important to be honest and communicate well so she knows why you are slowing things down and doesn't end up mistakenly believing that it's because of her or feeling rejected.

For some people, sex brings up powerful feelings of intimacy and vulnerability, and it might take time to get used to that and feel comfortable. For other people, sex can be just "a bit of fun" to enjoy with someone else. Go with whatever works for you and your partner, feel good, and stay safe!