What do women find physically attractive in a man?

[seo1]

Just throw out your "types" as far as physical attraction goes. Just looking to see which types are the most common and if they correlate to the woman herself. (ex. a woman of a certain physical type goes for a male counterpart)
Describe your appearence and your ideal guy physically.

This is based purely on the physical type. I myself know that I have a certain type of girl that I am physically attracted to, but I tend to neglect the physical for the mental aspect. Eventually I end up attracted to girls just based on their mental processes. I can never balance it. Either I'm really attracted to a girl physically but not mentally or the other way around to a certain degree.

[StellaBlue]

Well, I will answer this even though I find it kind of irrelevant as far as who I choose to have relationships with. I have never even had a relationship with someone who would meet these "standards," because I am so much more attracted to who a person is.

I am "generally" attracted to guys who are very natural looking. I am not big on the clean cut look or the super-muscular look. Maybe little bit of scruff and longer hair (but those are not that big of a deal). Being healthy is also a non-negotiable for me, which is both physical and mental/emotional. This is funny because it sounds like the male version of my appearance (minus the scruff of course, heh). I prefer to be natural with no make up, comfortable clothes, and I feel that I am very healthy looking.

I'd say the #1 physical thing that attracts me are the way a man uses his eyes. If a stranger can use his eyes to make direct eye contact and create intimacy, I melt This is tricky though, because it can't be done in a creepy way. I don't know if this counts as physical, because it is reflective of the inside.


I think that when I see a guy who I think is physically attractive, it is more of a "oh, he is cute" attraction. When I meet a guy who is mentally/emotionally attractive, I end up going for that no matter how he looks. From experience, I find that the "sparks" come from that second type of attraction and not so much the physical.

[Playlife]

What do you mean exactly with "beign healthy"? Not being overweight? Not being sick often? Not having a terminal disease? I personally get sick very rarely, but have poor eyes and spine, and I'm probably slightly underweight. Am I healthy? (Oh, and I forgot, sometimes I feel a little down. )

Cheers.

[mncz]

Every man I have been in relationship with has had a completely different physique, so I doubt I have strong visual preferences. My current boyfriend is very beautiful, but that is beauty defined by western aesthetic standard. I also think that I perceive him as the most beautiful man around because I love him so much. I would not mind if he would look different or be not that attractive. In fact I fell in love with him before I knew how he looks (two photographs do not exactly count), and I saw him in real life for the first time after we were a few months into our relationship already (cheesy, I know ).

When I want real relationship (as opposed to relationship that I seek for improving self identity) I look for qualities of soul and mind. There, being intelligent, joyful, imaginative and understanding definitely win over anything else .

[openyourize]

i think most girls focus more on personality, and if they like the personality, physical attraction just happens. I know what you mean about the eyes thing, but I think you are also correct in thinking that comes from within. I think a great smile and warm eyes is VERY physically attractive, but that doesnt mean that they need perfect teeth and big puppy dog eyes. Those qualities actually come from within. You can see their heart and soul through their eyes and smile.

[FrancesL]

I like a man to be either the same height as me, or taller. Never shorter. I'm a tall woman and I want to feel feminine. I just can't take short men seriously as romantic partners.

I also like a man who looks comfortable and relaxed - not nervous. Confidence without arrogance, I'd say. That's very attractive.

Other than that, like the poster above, all my boyfriends have looked pretty different from one another - some skinny, some solid, some blonde, some dark, some with glasses, some without, some smiley, some intense...

[madgeylou]

if a guy is past a certain threshhold of physical attractiveness (meaning, not too overweight, takes care of himself, nice face, fiery glint in his eye), then looks really don't matter much.

below that threshhold, a man is not gonna be do-able to me.

above it, he may or may not be do-able, based on his personal integrity, intelligence, personality, love of life, etc.

[Dannyboy1]

Why do women say that when it's so untrue?! LOL

Even though the post did not ask about anything but looks, women feel the need to say "looks don't matter". It's like they're all taught to say that so they don't feel superficial.

I remember the dating world well and it certainly DOES matter with women. Even if they're not sold on the "cultures take" on beauty, something about the guys looks catches your eye.

Let's put it this way, if two guys came up and had all the wonderful qualities you look for in a partner and one of them was short, bald, and weighed 300 pounds, who would you choose?

[StellaBlue]

Originally Posted by Playlife

What do you mean exactly with "beign healthy"? Not being overweight? Not being sick often? Not having a terminal disease? I personally get sick very rarely, but have poor eyes and spine, and I'm probably slightly underweight. Am I healthy? (Oh, and I forgot, sometimes I feel a little down. )

Cheers.

Don't be down on yourself. I meant eating healthy, being active, and caring for your body. That isn't really a specific body type. I might be considered slightly underweight too, but I feel that I am generally healthy. I am conscious about what I put into my body and what I do to my body.

Dannyboy1- I would have to say that a 300 pound man probably doesn't have the values I look for as far as caring for his body and being a conscious eater. I wouldn't mind if he were short and bald though. That could be cute Looks to matter to an extent, but I think that they determine far less than internal qualities. I might be attracted to someone initially, but without the internal factors there will not be any sparks and it fades away; however, it is more often that I meet someone who I am not attracted to at first glance, and after getting to know him he becomes attractive to me. Having both is always a plus though!

[stellasky]

This is going to sound weird perhaps superficial but I do think looks matter... although for me in all honesty its the initial vibe or feeling that I'm attracted to.

I'm not attracted to every person I find physicaclly attractive so why am I attracted only to some, it's got to be deeper..

For me I feel that the universe presents a new possible "someone" in an attractive package, to insure that I will be attracted.

Recent example: I met someone in a group, strongly felt his presence, then started to think about him, He's a bit on the skinny side which I'm not superficially attracted to, but the more I thought about him, (I mean I was thinking about him, I must be attracted), the more I realized how attractive he is and felt attracted physically.

When I found out he's quite intelligent, the attraction factor went up.
Later when we talked, found that he's on a spiritual path.
Attraction factor raised even higher.
The more we talk, the more I find common ground between us, the more I'm attracted.
But I probably wouldn't have gone as far had he not been physically attractive to me.
But then again, the more I know about him the more physically attractive he becomes.

[mncz]

Originally Posted by Dannyboy1

Let's put it this way, if two guys came up and had all the wonderful qualities you look for in a partner and one of them was short, bald, and weighed 300 pounds, who would you choose?

I would choose the one that touches my heart.

Ive had a bald partner. Ive had an overweight partner. Ive had a partner that was 16 years older than me. None of these things diminished in any way the qualities that attracted me to them (and no, it was not money, although I have had a relationship that was motivated only by money as well). In most cases the emotional/intellectual qualities I seek simply exclude not taking good care of oneself, but if a person had them and at the same time was short, bald, and weighed 300 pounds, I know I would not care that much, because Ive tried it and I know I dont.

And you also imply that if SOME women prioritise their partner's looks then ALL women do. Which is faulty logic and simply not true.

My attitude towards pretty boys is simple: they are nice as eye candy. They are nice for the sort of relationship where you want it to be fast, pleasant and over with. If I wanted a guy for one night entertainment, the pretty face would be where I would start, because there I want sensual pleasure, and nothing more. But when it comes to true relationship, the person I fall in love with needs to touch my heart. And to really get there, they need so much more than just looks. And sadly for a lot of men their looks and their wallet really come in the way of them being authentic, because they if they are beautiful and/or rich, they tend to identify with these two qualities way too much for my liking. That said, I have met also wonderful men who are beautiful and/or rich and still have beautiful souls, but they are somewhat of a minority in my experience.

But then again, thats just me

[lasti]

I'm kind of weird with guys.
Here are my preferences:

- not much bigger than me, not much taller than me (I'm 5'5)
- not too much muscles
- short, dark hair
- interesting face
- no full beard, but there are some beards that I like (mustache + chin combination), and I like sideburns
- yeah and I like them a lot older than me (10-20 years)

But it's about about combination so there are always exceptions. Johnny Depp in his Sweeney Todd costume would be very close to it. I hope he will see this once, too.

[Brien]

I've noticed that women prefer tall men. Not freakish giants, but over 180 cm (about 5'11") seems to prefered over anything shorter. At my modest 175 cm (about 5'9"), I believe it's harder for me to gain the attention of strange women. I have my ways though.

Small dogs have to bark louder.

[Spartan]

I don't think this forum is a good place to get a representative sample of the female population. Most people on this board are into PD and spirituality etc, and therefore they have more quirky/unusual tastes. In my opinion Yahoo answers would give you a better idea of what the average woman finds physically attractive.

In my experience, the average, feminine, physically attractive woman would generally find a tall, muscular, masculine-looking, handsome man physically attractive.

Also, I think looks matter more to physically attractive women, since they usually don't want to date someone who is too much below their own standards.

Women who regularly go to the gym and take care of themselves physically are more likely to be attracted to men who are fit, healthy and muscular. Women who are more judgemental, quirky and rebellious, will more likely be attracted to men that aren't traditionally good looking or masculine, since they have a strong desire not to conform.

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by Spartan

I don't think this forum is a good place to get a representative sample of the female population. Most people on this board are into PD and spirituality etc, and therefore they have more quirky/unusual tastes. In my opinion Yahoo answers would give you a better idea of what the average woman finds physically attractive.

The average, feminine, physically attractive woman would generally find a tall, muscular, masculine, handsome man physically attractive.

Heh, those of us who use this forum probably aren't interested in the average woman. I know I sure am not!

[indefatigable]

From what I've noticed, everyone's "type" is different.

I'm actually physically attracted to very few people, but I tend to fall for guys with somewhat unusual features, I guess. I've been told that, at least. I've know guys that rate themselves "average" at best, who I find really good looking. I definitely have a "type," but it's hard to define.

For a sexual/romantic relationship to work, physical chemistry is imperative. However, for me at least, intellect, social "presence", sense of humor, and similar interests are far more important - not that these things have to be "perfect," just a good match the other partner. When I first met my "first love" (I know, roll your eyes if you must ) I wasn't overcome by uncontrollable lust, but after I got to know him, that changed *snicker*. It definitely wasn't because of his looks, but after getting to know him he became the most beautiful person in my world, physically and in every other way.

I have other female friends find an unbelievably wide variety of men eye candy. I have female friends who, well... like females. I know some who barely care about looks at all, as long as the dude is creative, a good person, intelligent, whatever they're looking for.

If I actually think about it, even my friends are more attractive to me because I know them. But again, as far as initial attraction, that's different for everyone. Culture, similarities to past lovers, and random quirks all influence this, I'm sure.

[seo1]

I'm relatively physically attractive but it seems the girls I have a physical connection with don't have much going on mentally. You know the typical party girls.

Then whenever I get to know a girl an attraction starts to develop even if I don't want it to. Even if it's the worst possible situation it will start to happen. This has happened more than once and I can see the pattern repeating. Even if I'm not attracted to them physically something has already been set in motion. A relationship with no physical attraction can't be successful. Girls are naturally more intuitive and deeper thinkers than the general population of guys and that's why I think I start to develop these friendships. I value these type of relationships and I don't want to get rid of them completely though. I think it gives a broader perspective of understanding. They're usually at least 5 yrs older than me too.

Basically the question is: Has anyone had trouble with their mental/emotional aspect overriding the physical aspect in terms of developing a relationship? How do you control this? Whenever I want something to develop with a girl the mental pieces aren't there and whenever I don't intend for it something inevitably ends up happening. Has anyone had a similar experience? Maybe I might be able to gain some insight into this problem before I make the mistake again.

[Dannyboy1]

Originally Posted by mncz

I would choose the one that touches my heart.

Ive had a bald partner. Ive had an overweight partner. Ive had a partner that was 16 years older than me. None of these things diminished in any way the qualities that attracted me to them (and no, it was not money, although I have had a relationship that was motivated only by money as well). In most cases the emotional/intellectual qualities I seek simply exclude not taking good care of oneself, but if a person had them and at the same time was short, bald, and weighed 300 pounds, I know I would not care that much, because Ive tried it and I know I dont.

You're obviously a wonderful person, but you didn't answer the question. Which would you choose? They're both exactly the same mentally and spiritually and every other way but their looks. One is incredibly handsome and the other is short bald and weighs 300 lbs. Who would you choose?

[mncz]

Originally Posted by Dannyboy1

You're obviously a wonderful person, but you didn't answer the question. Which would you choose? They're both exactly the same mentally and spiritually and every other way but their looks. One is incredibly handsome and the other is short bald and weighs 300 lbs. Who would you choose?

The situation is practically impossible, since there are no two people who are the same. They might be similar, but they are not the same, ever. And the choice would be based on real life circumstances and events as the relationship unfolds, and they are impossible to predict. Since I do not choose someone for a relationship in an instant, the question loses sense in its current form I can't tell you beforehand, really.

[Dannyboy1]

Originally Posted by mncz

The situation is practically impossible, since there are no two people who are the same. They might be similar, but they are not the same, ever. And the choice would be based on real life circumstances and events as the relationship unfolds, and they are impossible to predict. Since I do not choose someone for a relationship in an instant, the question loses sense in its current form I can't tell you beforehand, really.

It's a simple question. It's not real, but if it were true... You can't answer it because you don't want to admit it to yourself. Why? Because you would have to then judge yourself based on your false belief that looks don't matter? Why does it have to be so black and white? I'm merely isolating it to show you that no matter who you are, looks matter to some extent. If everything were exactly the same, the only thing that was different is their looks - one man 300lbs and bald, who would you choose?

[mncz]

Mmm, not true. I can admit much worse things to myself like my suicidal thoughts and also wishes to kill other people, so something like just being attracted to someone for superficial reasons does not bother me at all. I can be completely honest to myself about being attracted to someone just because he is rich beyond my comprehension, for example. I do not even deny that chances are high that I would be attracted to the prettier person. But I view discussing situations which are impossible in real life as futile - because they are not real!

You are right that looks do matter. But the single fact that someone looks pretty is no guarantee for a relationship. None at all. I already answered your question to the extent of possible reality, and although I know you would like a different answer, I can't give it to you .

PS oh, I just imagined another turn of your scenario: if the two guys were just the same person in different times (like, year before and after), looks would still not be the decisive factor for a yes or no to a relationship .

[Dannyboy1]

Okay. Looks do matter. I know your answer. My point is that while it's good for women to think about all the other qualities when choosing a person, it's hypocritical to say looks don't matter. Looks matter just like any other quality matters. Many women lie to themselves and everyone else when they say "looks don't matter" then turn around and obviously drool over a great looking guy. That has to cause internal conflict. It's okay to admit to yourself that looks matter. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I think most guys would rather women do that than be hypocritical. It's when you judge someone solely on their looks or leave someone because they lost their looks that it's a problem.

[ns123]

For me, personally, looks do matter. But only if you are on the extreme sides of the spectrum. I would not date a 300 pound 6ft man. Sorry. But that's cuz I'm smallish in size. If I'm a 300 pound 6ft woman, of course I'd be wanting a man my size! Even though I'm thin and small, I would not date a 6ft man that is under 130 pounds. Too skinny.

Most people do not fall in the extremely unfortunate looking category. So if you are not extremely overweight, if you don't have warts, don't worry about your physical looks.

And it is possible to be overweight and still be attractive. It's possible to be bald, with love handles, and still be attractive to a hot gal. But it depends on the gal you're talking about.

If you want to know what an "average" woman finds attractive, you will end up attracting an average woman.

Everyone's preferences are different. And looks do matter of course, but it doesn't matter as greatly to others as to some.

Edit: You should watch the movie Hitch.

[Elrond]

Many have answered what they look for physically in a man, but there aren't many that have described their bodytype for comparison. That was what the OP asked for. I'm not complaining though. It's maybe redundant to describe that if you don't have any preference as long as he doesn't look too bad

[ns123]

Originally Posted by Elrond

Many have answered what they look for physically in a man, but there aren't many that have described their bodytype for comparison. That was what the OP asked for.

Hah, I actually missed that in the original post. I am not too sure many would want to describe their appearance. Maybe that's my limited view. I guess I would not describe myself because:
1. if I did, I would come across as arrogant
2. if I did, someone would probably want to see a picture of me
3. that's how internet stalking starts
(and I have personal experience with this)

It could turnout that way, but then again, it could also turn out this way:
1. I say I'm hot
2. someone says I'm not

What good would come of it?

But as you said, most women here don't really go for the looks but more the connection and personality. If the man is not the extreme side of unfortunate looking, the looks ceases to be important.

P.S.
How do you know if you are beautiful to others? By the amount of guys oggling you? There are some women who think they are beautiful but really are not. And there are many women who are beautiful, but others would consider plain.

[seo1]

ic fair enuf. i guess my post is too personal.

im just a normal guy just looking to see how that connection grows physically.

everyone here seems to be like me in that its moreso based on mental/emotional aspect than anything else.

most people i might seem to be shallow... but then again im only 20

[Elrond]

Originally Posted by ns123

Hah, I actually missed that in the original post. I am not too sure many would want to describe their appearance. Maybe that's my limited view. I guess I would not describe myself because:
1. if I did, I would come across as arrogant
2. if I did, someone would probably want to see a picture of me
3. that's how internet stalking starts
(and I have personal experience with this)

It could turnout that way, but then again, it could also turn out this way:
1. I say I'm hot
2. someone says I'm not

What good would come of it?

But as you said, most women here don't really go for the looks but more the connection and personality. If the man is not the extreme side of unfortunate looking, the looks ceases to be important.

P.S.
How do you know if you are beautiful to others? By the amount of guys oggling you? There are some women who think they are beautiful but really are not. And there are many women who are beautiful, but others would consider plain.

You kindof missed the point. Completely. It is not a question of "hot or not", but rather your appearance. Like that you're X feet tall, have a hourglass/pear/pencil/something-else bodyshape, like your hair this and that, have Y eyecolor, have a wide mouth, have sympathetic eyes etc. You can mention more than that and also less. (Or justify why you won't describe your appearance. Or alternatively not post at all - that's cool too) It's interesting to maby find out that many women like that a man is, say, 2/3 inches taller than them. Or that a really buff woman likes men that are more or less buff than herself. That kinda stuff is, at least to me, interesting. Don't know about the OP though.

It's not like "I would say I'm an 8, and I like men that are in the ballpark of 7-10"

[ns123]

Ah, I getcha now. Well, I think you can already get this on match.com by looking at someone's picture/profile and preferences, no? and you'll get a much better survey there, as all of those people are actually people who are looking for dates.

As to post:
1. how you look
2. what you find attractive
This has the potential to go down a very judgmental dark path.

Attractiveness in women are just like in men - it varies. If I say, I'm a 300lb 6ft tall woman, looking for a buff dude who is 6'2" tall, 195lbs, well, I'll get flamed by a bunch of posts saying, I'm hallucinating. And what good would come of that?

If I'm a hot 5'8" tall woman at 130lbs, and I want a slightly balding man with a little bit of love handles, I might just get some propositions that I don't want. (I am neither of these examples).

I guess I'm not too sure I understand the reason for the question. You can get what you need (a general survey) by going to the dating sites. And as another poster says, the preferences on the Pavlina forums will probably run a bit eccentric, as most people who show up here are looking for more interior/connection and less exterior.

Sorry, I guess I just can't help the OP. Will slink away now.

[votoshka]

It is hard to answer this question because to me it's not a "type" that I prefer I don't think. If I see a guy who is good looking, I'll think, "Hmm he's hot!" he could be dark, could be blond, could be tall, could be on the shorter side!

Some people are more attracted by a physical body, but to me it's the face I notice first. I would say though, that I'm generally not attracted to fatter guys... although I can see a large guy and notice that he has a nice face that'd probably be hotter if he lost weight! (And I don't mind a bit of overweight... I mean someone who is very overweight).

However, I will follow this by saying, as others have said, that a guy may not initially attract me, but may instead grow on me over time as I get to know him, AND as he grows on me I begin to find him more and more physically attractive! And when I really like a guy, I can overlook the physical flaws.

But for me, I would say that when it comes to attractiveness it is the face I notice first and foremost. A guy could have the hottest body in the world but if I didn't find his face attractive I wouldn't find him attractive to me.

So, that may sound superficial, but yeah, at the end of the day the men I am with I am with because I have grown to love them for more than their outward appearance, even though they may not be guys who I've seen immediately and been blown away by their looks!

[Rose of Cairo]

This is a funny game! ok, here's my ideal type:

- short, absolutely. Something like 1m72 or shorter (5'8'')
- stout. I don't know how you say that in english, I mean those people with broad shoulders, who are proportionally wide for their size. Like the dwarfs in WoW
- massive. I totally dig lots of muscle mass, but not the gym type of muscle, it needs to also have some fat on it.
- dark hair, black or very dark brown.
- either very long or very short hair.
- no beard.
- chest hair.
- body parts I need to find sexy: mouth, butt, hands.
- tattoos give me the ultimate kick.

I'm automatically attracted to such short, dark, massive guys. I notice them everywhere, even on the street, that's the ones I look at. Unfortunately none of my boyfriends has ever had all of these characteristics.