I am stressed and depressed

[SMS]

Hello all,

This is my first post .. hope I can express myself properly

Currently I realized that all of my life gone through under stress.

At my childhood and young age, I always day-dreamed and a fake conception about the world.

Therefore, I am not confident about how to carry on my life. I have no goal, very poor time management and social skill.

I do not have any friends.

I just go to work, then come back home.

I tried to make friends, but each time i tried to come closer to someone, sometimes they took advantage of my naive ness or do not come more closer.
I feel that I blew up everything.

Therefore, I also feel very depressed.

I don't know what the things I should focus on to come out from this situation.

Please help me. Save my Soul.

Thanks for reading and your time.

[lasti]

How would you spend your time if you didn't have to care about financial things?

[Tigerlilly]

Originally Posted by SMS

Please help me. Save my Soul.

Hi there!

Your soul may be locked-up in a life not made to fit it, but in and of itself it's fine and you can change your life, it's yours, after all.

You have written about what makes you miserable about your life, now what makes you happy? You said when you were a kid you did a lot of daydreaming, what did you dream about? What do you dream about today?

If you want to "save" your soul you need to give it room to express itself in your life. What you dream about is what you secretly desire. If your inner critic walls your soul in behind inner blocks, then you need to make your way out of there.

How about this: Do something today that makes you happy, even if it's just a tiny thing and do one thing different, something you haven't done before. It doesn't have to be a big step for mankind, just one small thing. Do both everyday and I'm sure you'll gain momentum in your change and vitality, you will feel more alive and bigger changes will follow.

[laur_454]

SMS, first I think you should define exactly what would make you happy. What are your interests, hobbies, passions, and dreams? This might require you to do some digging inside your soul, but when you close your eyes and picture your ideal self, who is that person? What does she look like? Who are her friends? Who is she dating? What is her job? What are her hobbies? How does she spend her free time? What spiritual path is she on?

I read once, a long time ago on this forum, about life visions. Basically they are descriptive pictures of your life, written down in a private area for you to read each day. You write down your goals for relationships, work, family, finances, emotions, social life. Describe these things in extreme detail and list exactly how you want it to be as if these things have already happened to you.

Example: I have an amazing job as a teacher and I help children learn math each day. Additionally, I help give them confidence, love, and etc....

You can insert any profession that you'd like.

For a relationship it might be like this:

I have a boyfriend that I love deeply and we support eachother completely. We are both lightworkers. We like to go to the beach together, run together, and we have a dog...

I think you get the idea. I created a life vision and I get excited just reading it. Read this every day and eventually the Law of Attraction will take hold for you. It takes time, and you should probably do more research on Intention and Manifestation.

I was similar to you when I was younger (I'm 24 now). I was quiet, anxious, angry, introverted, not very social, completely unaware of who I was inside and what I wanted for my life. Now I can say I've done a 180. I have a great boyfriend, tons of friends, a lifestyle that I love, dietary habits that fit with my values, an education that I enjoy working on, and a great relationship with my family.

You can have this too, I'm sure of it. There was a time when I never thought I'd get out of my funk. But guess what ~ you are out of it!! Just as soon as you realize that every passing moment is another chance to turn it all around. Good luck to you and I will be thinking of you!!

[jaamkie]

you won't find a single simple snap-your-fingers solution, no matter how much you're wishing for one right now. what you will find is that each morning life goes on, there are more chances, more choices, to move forward and try something new each day.

you can probably diagnose yourself better than anyone on this board; but really a perfect analysis is unnecessary and probably beyond a point, becomes destructive as it distracts you from taking the first actions necessary. when I'm depressed the first step I take is to focus on the physical- to get a regular sleep schedule, to exercise at least a few times a week, to try to eat healthier- not starve, not binge, not eat too much sugar or caffine...

[moriez]

Feeling stressed and depressed, I have been there. Its a grey-ish, flat world isnt it? Its serious when this is for weeks or months at a time. If that is the case Id say it needs to be looked after with a professional. You will then find out what is at the root of this. I highly recommend going this route. Do it for yourself so you will get happier in a while.

As for making friends, isnt that hard, making friends? I cannot do it. I think it just happens to you so dont try too hard. Many people get scared away when someone seems to push for friendship. First take care of yourself, love yourself and then, in time, the rest will come.

Do you have family to rely on? In most cases they are the best friends you can get in times like these.

[SMS]

Thank you very much to you all for replying of my post!

I never expected that there would be so much feedback of my post. Its a awesome ! I feel honoured.

Please accept my apologies that I haven't replied faster. I was on my work (doing a shift job) and while my work going on, I hardly concentrate on any other things..I realy stressed on those days but I wanted to know how to tackle these situations. I make mistakes on everything cause I could not think deeply and take wrong decisions. Therefore I always nurvous and not confident.

Last 3 days, I have a break and I can start enjoying my life again..Therefore I am replying these post.

I felt in the last 3 weeks(from the time I submitted the post)- that what I really wanted is just have a good friend, who has same interest as me.If I spend my time with that person without any conflict, i feel better and get more confidence. I got one person like that and we can share our joy in the same hobby that we like (Photography)..

I hope thats the start. Soon I should learn to make new friends with same view in different aspects in life.

My next target is how to handle the work stress in work before it ruin up my other works in life..

I hope you would help my by providing your suggestions and advices...

Thanks a lot !

SMS..

[ar81]

Originally Posted by SMS

Therefore, I am not confident about how to carry on my life. I have no goal, very poor time management and social skill.
I do not have any friends.
I just go to work, then come back home.
I tried to make friends, but each time i tried to come closer to someone, sometimes they took advantage of my naive ness or do not come more closer.
I feel that I blew up everything.
Therefore, I also feel very depressed.

1.Now you have a friend. A friend is someone who wants you to be fine, not someone who takes advantage of others.

2.Those who take advantage of others have a serious problem of ethics and values and probably are very selfish. You select people you get close to. I would say you need to modify your friend-search algorythm.

3.I do not think you have poor social skills. People with poor social skills use to be called "trolls" and they behave like trolls. You came here asking for sincere help and that is not typical of a troll. You need to change your conception of you to adjust it to reality. You do not lack social skills.

4.We feel depressed when we think we can't change our reality. But truth is you can. When you clean your home you are changing reality. When you post you change reality. We change the world every day.

5.A rule so people do not take advantage of you. "Trust is earned, not given away". People need to show with FACTS that they earn your trust. It is not a matter of trust everyone or trust no one. Trust is earned by others. That will save you from uncomfortable situations. How do you know if you shoudl trust? "When in doubt between words and facts, believe in facts". That will tell you who is a liar. And a final general rule: "get close to those who make you a better person and improve your life, and stay away from liars who take advantage of you at all costs".

6.You did not blew up anything. I have had to start over many times in my life. You can do it too. I am no different than you. And I was there too. Believe you me.

[SMS]

Thanks for the advice.

I have one more issue which is giving a lot of stress.

I had a relation ship with my colleague. But I broke that up and make relation with another person. Now I feel very shy and uneasy to bring my fiance to my work place. I even afraid to tell her about that relation - afraid she will be very unhappy.

what should I do ? Should I quit that job ? (I can't take the stress at work nowadays .. but that job realy let me learn something, there fore I am confused)..

Please advice..

Thanks.

[laur_454]

Was the relationship with the colleague during or before your relationship with your fiance? If it was before, I don't think you should feel guilty now. Work relationships have happened to A LOT of us out there, and though they're sometimes stressful, its not unforgivable.

Why do you feel that your fiance will be upset about the affair? Do you still have any feelings for your co-worker? I wouldn't quit my job over something like this unless its absolutely intolerable being around this person.

I've had a work relationship once that led me to desire to leave the job, which I ultimately did. In that instance, I really fell for the person and the relationship didn't work out. It made me very upset and I ultimately left... He wasn't really the reason I quit, but in retrospect I think he (on some level) provoked me to look for another job somewhere else...

I think this really depends on the circumstances of the affair and what types of negative feelings you are having i.e. regret, stress, fear, anger, confrontation, and etc... Can you elaborate a bit more?

[jtracy]

I too have gone through significant stress and depression all my life. I too do not have any friends and never learned "social skills". I am committed to changing all that. I think that it is a mistake to beleive that you are always the one at fault in a relationship. You don't want to focus on all the things you imagine you have done wrong and then conclude that you are a failure. I have heard that it is only about a quarter of the people you approach that are actually willing and able to be friends with you. Many people just aren't ready for a new friend at that time in their lives. Sometimes it happens too that if you ask again later they just might say yes. I beleive that aside from physical health, the most important thing anyone can have in life is healthy relationships with a wide variety of people.
That should be the first priority.

I beleive there is nothing wrong with daydreaming because it helps you visualize what a better life would look like. Most people get into trouble because they treat it like a dream instead of like a goal. What you need to do is identify what you really want in life, and then decide how you could at least take a few small steps towards that. The first step is always the hardest. Once you get going towards your goal, it becomes easier and easier. Always keep your goal before you and be conscious of all the benefits of reaching it.

You have to have confidence that you can reach your goal, and if you haven't even started yet, this is pretty hard to aquire. You must have had some successes in your life, even if it is just graduating from high school. If you acknowledge and focus on your successes, no matter how small they seem, it will help you to gain the self-confidence you need to attempt to try new things. You need to realize too, that mistakes and setbacks aren't the end of the world, they are just opportunities for learning something new.