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| Social & Relationships Social skills, friends, dating, sex, seduction, monogamy, polyamory, marriage, alternative relationships, soul mates, parenting, children, family life, education |
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| | #2 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 470
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To me its a choice. A feeling is fleeting where a choice is much longer lasting. When I love someone it means I am going to be with them in the good and the bad times. I won't leave them (except in death |
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| | #4 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 962
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An annoyance. Nah, love is a very powerful bond to another person. I haven't had much of it so I don't think I'm qualified to speak much about it. I hope it's something beyond what chemistry and biology can explain though. |
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| | #9 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 22,520
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I don't think everybody thinks of it this way, but I think being "in love" (in the romantic sense, not in the "being in love with your own life" sense) is the stressful, yearning, infatuated feeling where I want to throw myself completely to the person and at the same time it's ultra-mega-important to *get* something from him, too. The Chicken Opera kind of love -- you know, the kind that keeps people in abusive relationships ("But I looooovve him!"), makes it impossible for you to hear certain songs after you break up without sweet agony, makes it really easy -- even mandatory -- to ignore or discount your intuition, and has people saying things like, "I love her so much it hurts!" In my experience, "in love" lives in my heart and stomach mostly. Interestingly, I'm in the most profoundly loving, interesting, growth-oriented, solid, sensuous, open, honest, endearing, fun, free, connected, joyful, safe, and sexy relationship I've ever been in -- my very favorite romantic relationship of all time -- and I wouldn't say I'm "in love" with Danger Man. Danger Man love lives more evenly spread out throughout my body, mind and spirit. There's nothing I need to *get* from him, and yet I've never been more satisfied and fulfilled. There's none of the stressful yearning, or suffering when we're separated, or sick-at-the-stomach feeling. If we were to ever part (I hope we stay together for a long, long time), I am quite sure that I would feel gratitude and love towards him for being who he is and making that available in our relationship. I love him from my bottom to my heart, and I wouldn't trade what we've got for all the "in love" in the world. Oy, I've had enough of that! |
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| | #10 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,123
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"being in love" are overused words (especially in movies and such), so much that everyone has his own definition. If you look for tests over the net, they, however agree to a certain point. But that's not the usual definition of being in love. What Angela means is called "infatuation" and is not being love for so called experts, but if you say you're in love in that situation, 99% of the people would agree. I was in doubt recenty, and my result was, no infatuation, no in lust, but "a little in love" I still don't know if I'm love. Well, I am, but just a little. |
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| | #12 (permalink) |
| Banned Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 22,520
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Yes, songwriter, I think you are right that it may be just a little bit different, the definition of being in love, for everybody -- we can never know for sure if they are in love with us in the way we mean when WE say in love. D'oh! It's a curse and a blessing. I do make a distinction between what I call infatuation and what I call being "in love" -- it's a little hard to describe, but I could be infatuated with a person without having any real admiration for him or her, any sense that I would want to be like herm in any way. You know, just be sort of obsessed and yummy and desirous and fantasy-esque about them. "In love," for me, includes admiration and a willingness to take on and absorb their qualities -- at least some of them. |
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| | #13 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: surrey, UK
Posts: 11
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im in love, everything seems a bit more special, i feel healthier. i can stop and smell the flowers, laugh at opposition, really appriciate simple things. the most in love i have ever felt was when i had my daughter. i couldnt take my eyes off of her, she was just divine. everyday was like Christmas. i had/have an intense feeling of knowing her from before and of always knowing. i put her first everytime, easily, and not question it. i just want her to be happy. when you are in love its like a slice of perfection. i hope this post isnt too gabbled! how do your articulate what is incalculable and infinite?
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| | #14 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 658
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I am in love with my husband. Have been for 10 years. Am I always in love with him, every minute of the day? No. Sometimes I would like to strangle him. I read somewhere, love is a verb. It's not a state of being to be reached. You are in love when you choose to act love. |
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