Difficulty letting go

[Sanity Panda]

Every now and then I have dreams about my friend being indifferent to me in the setting, but today the dream was different.

First I tried contacting her online, but recieved no reply even though she was still updating her blog or whatever. Generally happy blog so I thought "okay at least she's still her kind self, don't think she'd ditch a friend without any signals." Saw her at school. Tried to take some food from her (she shared with another stranger) but she backed away before starting to tell me things such as "Oh well... You know Rose? She's probably the only one that could be on your level of EQ" (Dream doesn't make sense but basically I feel insulted)

Obviously dreams aren't reality. It's a reflection of my state of being.
I feel so dependent on this person. But I have no idea what I should do, and whether I should get over this dependancy issue.

[Jarrod]

Yes you should not be dependent on people.

Your thoughts and feelings will tell you how you are dependent, watch them during the day and don't go along with them.

[purelyimpure]

hi there... sounds to me like you are overly attached to that person. This is the law of detachment at work. Detach yourself from her. cultivate a present-moment awareness. Practice everything with detached involvement !


hope it helps

[Jarrod]

law of detachment?

[WhiteLight]

Simply, you could describe it as not being attached to the outcome of events. Instead of trying to control the situation, you just let things flow naturally.

There's probably more to it than that when the topic of the 'law of detachment' is concerned, but that's the most straightforward answer I can give you.

[Swannie]

Originally Posted by Sanity Panda

I feel so dependent on this person. But I have no idea what I should do, and whether I should get over this dependancy issue.

The advice people have given isn't very practical in my opinion. Identifying is just the first step. Learning to ignore the feelings is not healthy though.

Dependency seems to happen when someone has something we don't. We can then build beliefs on top of what it would be like to have that thing, which increases the feeling of dependence.

What is it that this person fills in, in you? Are they extremely sociable, and you are not? Then you must cultivate that side of yourself. Or maybe you see her always happy, and you don't feel that happiness. Then you must find happiness in other areas.

This is developing your independence. It is a long road. But thankfully it is not about how far you can get, but the fact that you are moving in the right direction that makes the difference.