Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

Mer · 12-11-2006, 02:41 PM

Can someone tell me about their experiences about having a relationship with someone who is totally the opposite of you?

I'm in one right now, and don't know if it is wise to do so.
I really love him, but at the same time i can really hate him.

placebo · 12-11-2006, 04:29 PM

I'm always trying to find someone who is in so many things like me so she can understand me, and in few things different making the relationship not boring.

Jill · 12-11-2006, 11:02 PM

Opposite can be good, as long as you have the same values. If you don't have that, I'd recommend moving on.

LillyoftheValley · 12-11-2006, 11:27 PM

Differencies should be celebrated. They will keep you moving past your comfort zones and go experience amazing things.

I'm speaking from personal experience when I'm telling you this.

But then again, it depends on what you want in a relationship (although what you THINK can appear to be a total opposite). Just keep in mind that as long as you enjoy it, as long as you feel good about it and it makes you grow as a person, you shouldn't worry about how different you are. In my case, I found our differencies the most helpful tool for both of us to grow (and there were many of them). Of course, it is even more powerful tool when there's a great deal of respect involved.

In the long run, when two people spend much time together in a relationship, they tend to become alike - they tend to look alike, too!

&

Because you speak about love, I hope the hate you're mentioning is anger, actually. I find that anger/hate to be very interesting, because it automatically projects on me hating myself for this and that

. It really depends on what you do with it.

Now I hope I got you thinking in this terms, but I must tell you I'm in a relationship where there's virtually no fighting. Only disagreeing. We're just very different persons/mentalities wanting to be together.
Hope this helps.

Colm OReilly · 12-12-2006, 06:14 AM

There is a theory that in order to be complete/integrated you should partner with someone who is the opposite of you, or to put it another way, compliments you. It comes from the King Warrior Magician Lover paradigm. Kings and Magicians are complimentary, as are Warriors and Lovers.

Michael Chui · 12-12-2006, 06:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colm OReilly

There is a theory that in order to be complete/integrated you should partner with someone who is the opposite of you, or to put it another way, compliments you. It comes from the King Warrior Magician Lover paradigm. Kings and Magicians are complimentary, as are Warriors and Lovers.

That sounds suspiciously like the Compatibility Reports I keep seeing from personality sorters.

Vivacious Woman · 10-11-2010, 04:04 AM

My husband and I is really different but I believe in saying: Opposite Attracts. We might have indifferences, but we work it out to have successful relationship. Likewise, with different hobbies, we make it a point to utilize these to know more of each other.

larkok · 10-11-2010, 04:16 AM

What better way to affect personal change then by being with someone who is unlike you? I think there's more potential for growth and a likelihood that the best qualities of the two of you, will slowly integrate into one another thereby producing a more "complete" person.

aelle · 10-11-2010, 04:35 AM

4 year old thread, guys... I'm sure the OP has figured it out or moved on!

12-11-2006, 02:41 PM	#1 (permalink)
Mer Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: the Nehterlands Posts: 2	A relationship with someone who is the opposite of you Can someone tell me about their experiences about having a relationship with someone who is totally the opposite of you? I'm in one right now, and don't know if it is wise to do so. I really love him, but at the same time i can really hate him.

12-11-2006, 11:27 PM	#4 (permalink)
LillyoftheValley Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Croatian location Posts: 89	What I found is that... Differencies should be celebrated. They will keep you moving past your comfort zones and go experience amazing things. I'm speaking from personal experience when I'm telling you this. But then again, it depends on what you want in a relationship (although what you THINK can appear to be a total opposite). Just keep in mind that as long as you enjoy it, as long as you feel good about it and it makes you grow as a person, you shouldn't worry about how different you are. In my case, I found our differencies the most helpful tool for both of us to grow (and there were many of them). Of course, it is even more powerful tool when there's a great deal of respect involved. In the long run, when two people spend much time together in a relationship, they tend to become alike - they tend to look alike, too! & Because you speak about love, I hope the hate you're mentioning is anger, actually. I find that anger/hate to be very interesting, because it automatically projects on me hating myself for this and that . It really depends on what you do with it. Now I hope I got you thinking in this terms, but I must tell you I'm in a relationship where there's virtually no fighting. Only disagreeing. We're just very different persons/mentalities wanting to be together. Hope this helps.

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12-11-2006, 04:29 PM	#2 (permalink)
placebo Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: No where Posts: 189	I'm always trying to find someone who is in so many things like me so she can understand me, and in few things different making the relationship not boring.

12-11-2006, 11:02 PM	#3 (permalink)
Jill Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Ashland, MA Posts: 481	Opposite can be good, as long as you have the same values. If you don't have that, I'd recommend moving on.

12-12-2006, 06:14 AM	#5 (permalink)
Colm OReilly Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Dublin, Ireland Posts: 136	There is a theory that in order to be complete/integrated you should partner with someone who is the opposite of you, or to put it another way, compliments you. It comes from the King Warrior Magician Lover paradigm. Kings and Magicians are complimentary, as are Warriors and Lovers.

10-11-2010, 04:04 AM	#7 (permalink)
Vivacious Woman Banned Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 81	My husband and I is really different but I believe in saying: Opposite Attracts. We might have indifferences, but we work it out to have successful relationship. Likewise, with different hobbies, we make it a point to utilize these to know more of each other.

10-11-2010, 04:16 AM	#8 (permalink)
larkok Member Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: Canada Posts: 86	What better way to affect personal change then by being with someone who is unlike you? I think there's more potential for growth and a likelihood that the best qualities of the two of you, will slowly integrate into one another thereby producing a more "complete" person.

10-11-2010, 04:35 AM	#9 (permalink)
aelle Family Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: France - Japan - Korea Posts: 3,241	4 year old thread, guys... I'm sure the OP has figured it out or moved on!

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums